Secret of The Solstice
 

I'm a new writer, and I hope you all like it. Constructive criticism is totally allowed. (It's a blessing to get it from other people besides my family) Enjoy!

Secret of the Solstice, Chapter one.
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The alarm beeped.
5:30.
She groaned, not wanting to awake. But sadly, she had to. The window outside was covered in frost. How the heck am I going to get to school today? She wondered silently. As she slipped her sweater on her shoulders she heard her 7-year old ctep-sister bouncing up the stairs.
"Jessi Jessi! Guess what day it is!" The blonde with pigtails bouced up and down the bed, annoying Jessica with all her might.
"Ok, what day is it Lizzi?"
"Friday!!" Jessica slapped herself on the forhead. Dhe didn't have time to play these games with Lizzi.
"Lizzi, I have to get to school. Why don't you go back to sleep?" Jessica grabbed her bag and walked out the door of her room, with Lizzi following close behind.
"No way! Sleeping is boring." Lizzi stuck out her tounge. Jessica slid down the stairs and Lizzi mimicked her. She put a peice of toast in the toaster and put her hair in a ponytail while waiting for it to finsih.
"Sleep is a way of refreshing. You should go back to sleep." The toast popped up and Jessica gave it to Lizzi, who muched on it. She grabbed a bottle of water and walked out the door. "See-ya shortie!" She started walking away, wishing the day was already over.
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Was it good or was it crappy? How can I change it?
I want your feedback!
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I do not think it is bad in general, it is just that the sentences seem sort of choppy to me.

Like, this one...
She wondered silently. As she slipped her sweater on her shoulders she heard her 7-year old ctep-sister bouncing up the stairs.

Could be...
She wondered silently as she slipped her sweater on. Jessica could hear her seven year-old sister bouncing up the stairs outside her bedroom.

I personally think you have potential, it is just that your sentence variety needs some picking at~ ^-^
If you need any help, please feel free to PM me!

it was descent, nothing to complain about much

Thank you all for your compliments. I'll see if I can modify the first chapter when possible. Again, I love constructive criticism.
Chapter 2: Jessica
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She was in a snowy white field. No-one was miles around. But then he was there. His silver-blonde hair in his face, a smile so seductive she felt her heart race and those eyes; the eyes that haunted her dreams and emotions. He was always there, getting her in trouble.
"Miss Faror? Care to explain yourself for this one?" She shook her chocolate brown hair.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what's happening." Snickers exploded all around the classroom and her blushing continued.
"Next time it happens it will be detention." She gulped and then class was dismissed.
"Look," A popular pretty girl named Brittany started, "That's her, the one they call the dreamer. Always falling asleep in class. Some say she's not from this world."
"I heard her mother left the family to become a Broadway star." Jessica felt her tears and anger. She ran outside to the front steps of the school and then she felt her blood and her tears form to one.
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Ok, Basically what happened to Jess, (if your wondering), she ran outside and she tripped on the ice on the steps.

I LOVE FEEDBACK!!
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"Will she be alright Zanfar?" She groaned. Why does my head feel so stange?
"I am pretty sure of it Your Magesty. The lady will be fine." There was a hand on her forehad, stroking her hair.
"I have no more need for you. Now go."

Silence.
Her eyes opened slowly, curious to see her suroundings.
"Where am I?" This room wasn't Jessica's own. Instead of being in her attic room she was in a room drapped with blue. Then she saw him.
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It's another part of the same chapter as last time. Sorta a cliffhanger. FEEDBACK PLEASE!!

it looks good but I'm a little confused on why she cried. Did her mother really leave them or was it just a rumor. If it was a rumor I don't see a reason for it to make her cry. well that's just my opinion but again it's a good story. keep it up ^_^

Thank you. I don't have time to post right now.

Sadly, it wasn't a rumor.