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sister_weird
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Old 02-13-2008, 12:45 AM

Here are the first few pages of a book that a friend and I are in the process of writing. Feed-back is helpful. It doesn't have a title yet, so if you have any ideas for one, let me know! X3

Lenore stepped back from the wall and stared at the crumbling hole she had created. She wiped away the blood that ran from her forehead and down the side of her face, and then turned to look at her reflection.
As Lenore peered at her beat red complexion in the mirror, she ran cold water in the sink to cool down. She had locked herself in the girls’ bathroom and had locked the world out. Her temper was getting harder to control. She managed to take the rest of her anger out on random objects instead of killing another student. Stall doors hung on their hinges and swayed back and forth like drunk men. Smashed porcelain toilets were no longer the thrones they were meant to be. They now resembled natural springs as the water spitted from the busted pipes. All of the sinks, except one, lay mangled on the black and white checkered floor like a pile of dirty clothes that had been tossed aside.
Her light blue eyes became a bright white as she recalled the incident…
The cafeteria was a buzz with life as the students broke off into the many different cliques that roamed the halls. The cafeteria was shaped like a pentagon and consisted of three levels that divided the school into groups. The lower level, witch the students deemed “Hell”, was made up of the gothic, freaks, punks, and skaters. The middle level, also known as “Earth”, was named for the hippies, potheads, hicks, and nerds. Finally, the upper level, called “Heaven”, consisting of preps, jocks, and band geeks.
Lenore walked through the doors, which opened up into Heaven, carrying her tray in her right hand. She took no more than three steps into the room before the motion censor went off:
“Welcome to the Pentagon.”
She glared at the system, “I’m going to kill the smart ass who installed that damn thing.”
Lenore sat at a table in the corner of Heaven. Damien followed. They were meant to eat in Hell, but Lenore was as stubborn as a three-year-old and sat where she pleased.
The head cheerleader, Brittany, walked up to Lenore and prodded her in the side with her foot.
“Excuse me, you’re in my seat,” she flipped her blonde hair and laughed with her friends.
Lenore kept eating, completely ignoring the girl. Brittany smacked Lenore in the back of her head just as Damien sat down.
Lenore scooted her chair back and stood to face the prep, “What do you want?”
Brittany smirked and rolled her eyes.
“You need to go back to hell, where you belong,” her manicured finger pointed to the lower level where the Goths and such were watching.
Lenore shook her head from side to side, “No I don’t.”
As Lenore turned back to the table to sit down, Brittany slapped her across the face.
Damien was indulged in his food, not wanting to get involved. Lenore soon lost control and grabbed Brittany by her face. Damien tipped his chair back, turning to watch his twin. He held a handful of tater tots like popcorn.
Suddenly, the foreign exchange student from London ran up from the middle level and smiled, “You’re all going to die down here.”
Lenore smirked evilly and squeezed the preps head. With more pressure, the skull under her hand cracked and soon gave in. Bone pointed out and mush, that was supposed to be brains, oozed across Lenore’s hand. She then ripped the face off the girl and threw it at the nearest teacher.
Silence.
Damien jumped up and screamed, “Oh my God!!”
Lenore looked at him, “What?” she roared.
“I’m out of ketchup!” Damien slammed his food on the floor in an outrage.
Lenore shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Brittany’s friend, Trisha, let out a high pitched scream like the screech of tires as she stared at the body that rest at her feet.
“Shut up!” Lenore growled as she back handed Trisha with her right hand.
She swung with such force that when her hand hit, Trisha’s neck cracked multiple times like firecrackers as her head spun to face the wrong direction. Her head had spun a whole 180 degrees. She fell to the floor with a thud.
Students and teachers wailed in fear and ran for their lives, while others called the police.
“You might want to run.” Damien whispered.
Lenore fled through the halls to the restroom…


She looked down at her cut and bloody fists then looked back up at her reflection as anger rose again. She smashed her wounded hand into the mirror, shattering it into a million crystals.
“Broken…” she looked at her disfigured self in the shards still attached to the frame.
Huffing, Lenore sat against the wall and drew out her pocket knife. She twiddled the blade between her fingers before pulling up the left sleeve of her denim jacket. She peered down at the scars on her wrist and shook her head. Lenore put the knife to her flesh and cringed as the blood trickled like rain from the cut and added more blood to her now red jean shorts.
Lenore raised the blade and gave a sigh of relief. Pain seemed to be the only thing that could ease her frustration. She let her arm settle at her side as she closes her eyes and listens to the people screaming on the other side of the door.
There was a knock on the bathroom window, a soft tapping noise like short beats of a heart. Lenore got to her feet and unlocked the latch for her brother.
“I see they haven’t tried the windows, yet,” Damien smirked.
“They’re not that smart,” Lenore smiled.
Damien’s Black hair was shaggy and hung in his face. His dark blue eyes were lined in black with a scribble like design running half way down his cheeks. He was tall and slim, with a fair, elfin face. Damien wore a grey cut-off shirt with a black leather jacket, and a pair of black bondage pants. His lip and left ear were pierced with a small silver chain connecting the two. There was a spiked collar around his neck and a matching band around his wrist.
“Let’s get out of here,” Damien said as he held his right hand out to Lenore.
Lenore nodded and took his hand as he lifted her out the window. She stopped to look down at her wrist and lick away the dry blood.


The streets were dark and smelt of tacos and pizza. There was a full moon looming over the town as Damien and Lenore hid in the shadows of an alley. Sirens sounded as police cars whizzed around searching for a missing killer.
“How long do you think it’ll take them to find you?” Damien asked.
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Lenore shrugged.

“I wonder what Marcus will think when he finds out.” Damien pondered.
“That man should praise me for the things I do,” Lenore growled, “All the blood shed is for him, for Pete-sake.”
Lenore pulled a list of names from her pocket. She scanned through it and grinned.
“So, who’s next?” Damien asked.
“Officer Cortez,” Lenore looked up at her brother, “Then it’s off to Vegas!”
“Are we going to be able to get the job done with all the cops around?”
“Watch and learn,”
Lenore stood up straight and closed her eyes. Her body began to morph. Her face became chubby and a flab formed under her chin. Big, round glasses appeared on her face as her hair disappeared. She became a pudgy police officer, with a five o’clock shadow and a stomach that flooded over her belt line.
“How do I look?” Lenore’s voice was deep.
Damien shrugged, “If it works. Why didn’t you just make yourself invisible?”
“It’s more fun this way.” She grinned.

Jeshikah
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#2
Old 02-13-2008, 01:00 AM

Looks really good to me so far, keep it up!

sister_weird
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#3
Old 02-13-2008, 01:05 AM

Thanks! Yay for positive feed-back!!!

 


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