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Kyou Blade
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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02-17-2008, 12:58 AM
I think I dreamed last night. But I'm not sure. Things are a little fuzzy, like looking through a foggy mirror. It's as though the looking glass has been glossed over, and I can not fully escape through it. No being able to go to the land where the walrus leads the clams and the cat grins a psycho smile. That's a bit of a depressing thought. What fun is this world, if there is no way to flee from it, even for a moment. That's all I truly ask. Is that so much? But of course it is. Life was never meant to be easy, was it? It was meant to frustrate all of us and cause as much anguish as it can. Life is meant to weed out the strong from the weak. If one can not face life, and all of its problems, then they end said problems. The strong keep going. The strong stay together and they are the optimists in life. I would like to see myself as the optimist. Which is why I see the fact that I can not remember my dreams, as being something that is for the best. They say ignorance is bliss, and I had a feeling that by staying ignorant of my dreams, I would have happiness. I don't know for sure why I felt this way, I just did.
In any case, my day would be beginning soon. Such a bland day it would doubtless be. The only thing of interest was that I had a date with my girlfriend who I had been with for six months. It was hard to tell how that would turn out. I loved her quite dearly, but she could be a little...ditzy at times. She was the epitome of the dumb blond steriotype. But she was also a sweetheart, so I forgave her. We were going to the movies to see the latest action flick, which she had groaned endlessly about having to see, especially when I told her I actually wanted to watch the movie, meaning no sort of make-out session in the back of the theatre. The only reason why she had agreed to go, was because she still hoped to change my mind, which of course, wasn't happening. The movie we were seeing was about vampires which I had always had a love for. They fascinated me. I suppose those feelings may have been left over from my days as an emo goth boy, but I didn't care. That didn't change the fact that I had seen every movie of the subject and read every book.
The only reason why I would be going out tonight was because I didn't have to work. It was one of my few days off from the book store that practically owned my soul. I was normally the only person working, only because the jerks who owned the place seemed to have a fear of hiring and training newbies. Little did they realise that I was the one who would be training them anyways. Ah, what geniuses I work for. But regardless of that, it was a good job with good pay, plus I had a 30% discount, which I used quite a lot. It was a useful little perk of the job.
All of these things were running through my head as I sat on the edge of my bed, my bare feet pressed against the cold wood floor while my hands grabbed the edge of the mattress through the crimson sheets. My long blond hair hung down in my face, crossed into endless tangles that I really didn't want to deal with. I didn't know how girls could take growing their hair out long. Maybe it was just different for us guys. I don't think our hair was meant to be long. In any case, it didn't block my view of the sunrise.
That's the one thing that I always loved about South Carolina. The sunrise was always different every day. Today it emerged gloriously from the sea of conifer trees. The sky streaked away from the glowing horizon in strands of purple and rose colored ribbons. Even the very zenith of the sky was giving up its midnight blues in favor of an aquamarine shade that glistened like the waters of the east. The last stars were lost in the brilliance of the beginning of the day. Very slowly, the pure, orange orb of the sun pierced through everything, sending the last shreds of purple into colors of an only slightly darker shade of orange. Eventually those too were gone, and all was blue but for the burning flame of the sun.
Not too bad of a way to begin the day. It certainly made this day seem a little bit more promising. Maybe things would be alright after all. I could only hope so. I would know after I had some coffee and checked my email.
"First things first though," I grumbled running a hand through my blond mane. "I think I need to get up, which doesn't sound very fun right now."
But I did so anyways. I wasn't allowed to have fun on my day off, and besides, I needed to get going anyways. My date was at about 2, which meant that afterwards we could go out to eat, and then I could go home and go to sleep. I was always in bed by the time the sunset. It was just a habit of mine. Wierd, I know. Every time I tried to stay up later, I fell asleep anyways, no matter what. Or if I tried to get up before sunrise, I wouldn't even hear the alarm clock.
First I stumbled my way to the bathroom, brushing out my tousled hair after doing my business and washing my hands and my teeth. I was known for being a bit of a neat freak, which I had absolutely no problem with. I couldn't stand the idea of being dirty, which is why after I got a bit of good 'ole caffeine in me and I did my online stuff I would most likely shower.
As I made my way to the kitchen I heard a soft mew at my feet. I reached down to pet the little fuzzball of a cat that I kept to keep me company. She was a little thing that I had found outside a few months ago, and in that short amount of time, she had become a beloved member of my small family. She had ginger colored fur with little blond streaks. She was only a kitten, but already she was missing an eye, and had scars on her belly. My theory was that her mother had rejected her in the most cruel way possible. With how small she was, I wouldn't have been surprised if she was the runt. It was no wonder then, that as soon as I gave her some warm milk and some very small shreds of raw meat, that she had accepted being here and being away from her abusive mother. I had worried about her being outside at all, which is why I kept her strictly inside. I don't think she cared. After I found her I decided that the name for her would be Nemo. The reason for this, was because as a pallendrome it could be read as Omen, and to me she was like an omen that meant things would be alright, because if I could help even one small life, maybe my own life would have meaning. The other reason was because that name meant "nothing." I didn't mean that to be that she was nothing to me, but rather that there was nothing in the world that would keep me from caring for her with all of my soul.
She mewed up at me again, so I fixed her some milk while I started the coffee maker. As it's scent drifted through the room I leaned against the counter, letting the aroma permeate my senses. I was most certainly a lover of coffee. The scent alone could almost make me have an orgasm. Once I added my vanilla creamer and some sugar, the taste was like the nectar of the gods. Most of my friends knew that there was no dealing with me until I had my coffee. I could be quite evil otherwise.
Once the little light turned off and I could
hear that no more coffee made it's way into the pot, I grabbed my favorite cup which had a dragon design scrawled across the black background. It was a golden, eastern dragon with a great mane that flipped around its head elegantly. Dragons were another love of mine. Yep, I had lots of loves, very few hates. That's just the way I was. That's why most people got along with me. I had many friends, whether it be online or in real life. I didn't go to many clubs because of my odd sleeping habits, but I knew that I could have lots of fun at one. I was just a social person. Even if I still had some of the traits from my goth boy days. That was alright. Supposedly it made me mysterious. Let them think that.
After pouring some coffee into my cup and
fixing it up just right I went into my room again, switching on the computer and turning on my CD player as the modem began to whir into life. I sat down in my black leather desk chair and leaned back, wrapping my hands around my coffee as I waited for it to cool down for a little bit. My screen went through all of it's opening process before I clicked on a little icon of a flaming fox that read "Firefox" underneath it. That was the best server for my purposes, which is why I always used it. I deftly typed in my internet password and turned the sound on my computer off so that I wouldn't have to hear it scream through the dialing process. I hated dial-up. I really did. It was so slow, but I didn't feel like paying to get anything else. Yep, I'm just a little lazy. Oh well.
Finally all of that was done, so I typed in the website that I wanted to go to first. It was a little place called Gaia. It was also the place that had been like a home to me for the past 5 years. I was one of the first people to join, and also one of the few from that time that stayed. Gaia was an anime community that had grown to enormous size. The thing that made it so popular was that each person had an avatar that you could buy things for with the gold that you made by posting or selling things such as other items or artwork. There were all sorts of items and it was practically guaranteed that there wouldn't be any two characters who were completely alike. My avatar was a guy with short red hair that covered one eye in an emo hairstyle. He also wore glasses, a black button down shirt, black goth pants, boots, and a spiked choker. Added to that was a demon tail and demon horns. Those made my little avvy quite the hot little demon. I couldn't even count the number of girls who fauned over him daily at the roleplays. My girlfriend didn't know about this site, which meant that I could come here as often as I wanted.
I only bothered checking my Private Message box, which had one new message. It was from a girl who I had talked to on a few occasions. She was very illiterate, but I still showed kindness to her. I was kind to everyone. This particular message, after I decyphered it, was asking me if I would cyber with her. I politely declined. It wasn't that I had a problem with doing such a thing, cyber-sex was something I was actually pretty good at. But I only did so with a partner who could actually type well and who had an active imagination. Those things just made everything that much more interesting.
I checked my regular e-mail then, skimming through the junk messages, clicking delete on each one as I took another sip of coffee. It was finally at a normal temperature, so I was able to drink enough to fill my whole body with a heat that was almost as good as what I felt during my first kiss. No, actually, it was better than that. My first kiss had sucked. I was 16 and she was 15. Of course it hadn't been something spectacular.
After all had been said and done on my darling little computer, I leaned back in the desk chair, stretching my arms above my head as I worked out the evenings kinks in my back. With a loud yawn I relaxed, drinking down the rest of my coffee while listening to the music of Nightwish screaming through my CD player's speakers. I hummed along with it as I got up to clean out my mug. Not many people listened to this band, but I did, and I loved them. It was an odd mixture of sound that I always thought of as, Goth Opera. Their music had such beautiful lyrics though, and the romantic in me absolutely loved it. I could spend hours day dreaming to those songs.
But life had other plans for me. My phone began ringing, quite effectively disturbing my music. I growled and snatched up the phone, glancing at the caller ID. The name on it was that of my girlfriend, Jenna McQuinn. I answered it, turning my music down a fraction so that I could actually hear her.
"Hey babe, what's up?" I asked, leaning against the back of my desk chair. I crossed my legs and wrapped my free arm about my body, as was most comfortable for me.
"Hey there sweetie. How are you this morning? Did you sleep well?" Her voice on the other side had almost a forced cheeriness to it. My eyebrows knit together in frustration, but I stayed neutral.
"I'm fine. You know I always sleep good no matter what. You know that. But, anyways, how are you today? It's odd for you to call me at this time,
especially when I'll be seeing you later."
There was a moment of silence on the other end, and before she could even speak I knew what she would say. It wasn't that hard to guess. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to go tonight. Something came up. I'm really sorry. I promise to make it up to you."
Her words may have said that she was sorry for it, but her tone didn't. I kinda knew what that something was anyways. I knew that she was cheating on me, and I didn't really blame her for it. He was probably someone closer to her intellecual range anyways. I knew that I could do better. A part of my mind kept asking me why I didn't just leave her. I knew she wouldn't leave me, because I had money. That was all she cared about. Well, that, and the sex. But obviously she didn't need me for that anymore. I knew I should break up with her.
"It's alright, I understand. You probably wouldn't have liked the movie much anyways. I'll see you soon then, alright? Come visit me at work or something." Yeah right, like she would ever be caught dead in a bookstore. I think she would catch on fire if she crossed its threshold.
"I knew you would understand. Well, I've gotta be going now. The shower is calling my name. I love you so much, Damien. Bye!"
Before I could answer the phone went dead on her end. I did love her. I really did. That's why everything between us was so hard. I wanted her to love me with all of her heart, but I was starting to think that that may end up being impossible. Damn. I looked at the phone a moment as it screamed at me on her end. With a soft sigh I hung up and set the phone back on it's hook. With that I turned my music up and screamed along with the lyrics.
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Kyou Blade
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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02-17-2008, 08:34 PM
I leaned back in my chair, my throat sore from screaming to my music. I felt better though. I had showered as well, so my long hair glistened with water. I was ready to go to the movies now. But that was still a little ways off. I tapped the arm of the chair in thought, wondering what I should do until then. I was bored and I really didn't want to spend the day here. I felt like if I only went out into the world then I would be fine. The movie theater was by the mall, so I figured I should go ahead and go there. Maybe that would make things easier. I glanced at the clock which now flashed that it was 11 o'clock. Yeah, I might as well go. I could spend some time sitting in the Barnes and Noble that was across the street. Today I was just going to worry about myself for once. That's what I really needed.
I stretched back in my chair and yawned widely before getting up. I had only bothered putting pants on after I got out of the shower, so I needed to finish getting dressed first. I went off to my room and pulled the closet open. Inside the dominant color was black. Even in the hot weather of South Carolina's summer, I still wore black. I couldn't help myself. Right now my jeans I wore were black with chains of various sizes and lengths wrapped around my legs and butt. I dug in my closet for a moment before pulling out a black button up shirt that had a red dragon winding its way around the entire thing. It's head was the left side of my chest and from there it's neck went to the back of my shirt where the main part of it's body was. The wings stretched across the short sleeves and the tail wound up on the front on the right side. From there I placed a wide array of rings on my fingers, most of which were silver and black. I looked at the one ring that I almost always wore, but today I had decided not to. It was one that Jenna had given me on my birthday. It was a black ring with the chinese characters for Love written on it in silver. Today I left in on the top of my dresser. I just couldn't bring myself to wear it.
For the rest of my accessories I slipped on a silver anch necklace, a black, spiked choker, and two belts which I wore draped over my hips so that the crossed right above my crotch. One belt had the heartagram symbol on it, while the other looked like a string of bullets. I checked myself out in the mirror and grinned. This was how I felt most comfortable. This way I could hide in the crowd of other goth kids. I didn't really care to be bothered today. I just wanted to be left alone. That's just how I felt today. I slipped on my black boots and turned out my light as I grabbed my brush. My hair wasn't quite dry yet, but that was fine. I tied it back in a pony tail, so that it wouldn't fall in my face while I drove. I made sure all of my lights were off before going to the front door. I went out, blinking in the brightness of the day. I pulled the door shut and locked all the locks before heading out to my car.
I drove an old car that had been my very first car. It was a '91 Mustang with dull white paint that had begun to rust in areas. It was an automatic, complete with automatic windows which was a luxory I never took for granted. The car ran well surprisingly. The A/C worked perfectly, which in the South was definately a blessing. Down here the weather was very humid, which was far worse that a dry heat, I thought. I unlocked the driver's side door and slipped in, sticking the key into the ignition and instantly starting up my air conditioner. It took a moment before cool air began rolling in. When it did, I reversed out of the driveway and set off down the road out of my subdivision, Conifer Hall. It was called that due to all of the conifers that filled every empty space. This was a kinda dangerous place to live, due to all of the drug dealers that were known to live in that area. I didn't worry about them though. They were smart enough to ignore me, as I did them.
Conifer Hall was a useful place to live though, because of where it was positioned. It sat right between I-15 and highway 26. This meant that it was easy to get to either of the two major areas that were close by, Summerville and North Charleston. Today I was going to North Charleston, which meant that I would be going along the highway. I loved driving at that speed. I was known to speed, just because that's how I was. I was one of those people who lived dangerously. I was always searching for that new surge of adrenaline. The more dangerous something was, the better. I lived for roller coasters, fast roads, and sitting in the middle of the road on a rainy day. Talk about fun.
I really did love living in the South. Down here, life was more relaxed, which at times was a good thing. It meant that very few ever bothered me, which was definatly good. It also meant that when something big happened, everyone knew about it. The girls here are known for being sweet and the guys are known for being gentlemen. The spring here was absolutely gorgeous. When the magnolia trees are in bloom, their scent permeates the air and the giant leaves block out the sun so that only small patches of light played across the dark green ground. Azalea bushes lined almost every driveway and they came in all colors. I always loved the bright pink ones the best. They stood out the most. The white ones were pretty too though. Right now though, it was summer, which meant that there were mostly shades of green everywhere, with sudden splashes of pinks and purples every so often in some of the trees.
As I drove, I couldn't help but notice all of the beauty around me. This was a beautiful state in general. The upstate was a lot different though. I had been up there several times. Things were much more sophisticated, with lots of big houses and large buildings. It was kinda ridiculous. I didn't like it as much up there. In the low-country people were nicer as well. Guys always held doors open and you were always greeted with a smile by everyone. That was one of the reasons why I had never moved from here. I had been born and raised here, and I loved it.
As I made the turn off for the mall, I glanced at the time. In the midst of my reminescing I had managed to pass away 30 minutes. I smiled. It was probably because I had been speeding too. Instead of turning towards the mall, I went a little further and pulled into the Barnes and Noble bookstore. I carefully pulled into a parking spot between a blue minivan and a red sportscar, knowing that both of them would hate having a crap-tacular car such as mine beside them. I laughed softly to myself as I parked and slid out of my car, locking my doors behind me.
My boots echoed softly on the cement as I made my way to the cold metal doors. I pulled them open and wandered in. There were several sections that I normally went to, but today I was only interested in one for now. That was the fiction section. I wanted something that would actually get my imagination running. As I went over there, my eye caught a girl in the same aisle I had been going to. She was a rather odd looking girl in blond pigtails and goth wear. She was cute in a childish way, but part of me was compelled to go towards her. I got close and started to look at some of the books, hoping that she would notice me. I guess she didn't. She moved a little further down, still looking at books, picking one up every so often to read the backs. I continued looking at the books as well, silently willing her to glance over. She still didn't. So I moved down a little further as well until our shoulders were almost touching. Then she glanced up, and our eyes met. I almost gasped in shock.
Her eyes were the most shocking shade of violet that I had ever seen. As they narrowed into suspicion, they looked all the more alluring to me. Her lips pursed into a cute little frown. "Can I help you?" she asked, her light voice almost a hiss as she glared.
"Can I buy you coffee?" I asked, the words coming off smooth and rich, despite how badly I had been shaken by her eyes.
She glared a moment longer and then laughed, her giggles coming out like the peals of silver bells. I raised and eyebrow and she kept laughing. Part of my mind was intrigued by her, while the other half was oddly annoyed that she would laugh at me like that. It took her a moment to stop laughing, but when she did, she held out a dainty, black glove covered hand. I took it gently and kissed it, which caused her to laugh softly for another second.
"My name's Kitty. Kitty Simmons. Some of my friends call me Kit," she said, smiling up at me beneath a mask of dark eyeliner and red lips.
"And I'm Damien NiMorrigan. I don't have any sort of nickname."
"Well, Damien, I'll help you think of one over the cup of coffee you offerred me, although, would it be alright if I got a nice cup of iced Chai tea instead? I'm kinda addicted to that stuff."
"That's more than alright!" I said, laughing a little myself. "That's exactly what I always get when I come. It relaxes me and makes me quite happy. And here I thought I was the only one who liked it."
"Well good!" With that she linked her arm in mine and smiled up at me. "Let's go get us some Chai."
Walking up there, I couldn't help but feel attracted to her. She was adorable, but there was more to it than that. I just felt like it was right for me to be talking to her. Her personality was like a shining star in the darkness, and it pulled me closer to her.
I couldn't help but notice that she was quite short. I estimated her to be about 5 feet tall, maybe 5'1". Her hair was short and a platinum shade of blond. Her flesh was paler than mine, but it was the perfect shade for her. She wore a black lace, short skirt, a red and black corset, and black boots over black lace knee high stockings. Added to that were black lace gloves and a black choker. She was definatly a little goth girl, but she didn't have the personality of one. She was certainly unique. When we got to the register to get our Chai teas, the cashier looked at us quite oddly, and I just grinned at him. Kit giggled softly and wrapped her arm closer around mine. Where our skin touched, it was like a jolt of electricity shot up my arm and I felt a surge of anticipation. I hoped that she would never move her arm.
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Kyou Blade
(っ◕‿◕)&...
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02-19-2008, 10:28 PM
But of course, when we found a table in the corner to sit at and talk, she had to move her arm so that she could sit across from me. That was fine too. It meant that I could gaze into her fascinating eyes. I took a sip of my Chai and sighed softly. Even though I loved coffee with all of my heart, I loved this stuff with all of my soul. It made me unbelievably happy to be sharing this moment with this entrancing girl.
"So why are you so obsessed with me?" she asked, gazing up at me beneath her black painted lids.
My eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't figure out what emotion was behind her asking me that. I didn't know if she was annoyed or merely curious. I took another sip of my Chai as I figured out some appropriate response. Afterwards I cleared my throat and looked at her, our eyes meeting again.
"I feel... compelled to talk to you. There's an attraction here that I can't deny," I whispered, barely even breathing because I was afraid to make any noise.
The look that she gave me was so sad. She sighed softly and turned away from me, her eyes gazing down at the table as she traced a finger through a drop of water that had fell on the table, carefully forming shapes. My heart clenched and I tentivelly reached a hand across the table top, resting my fingers on hers.
"What's wrong?" I asked, this time my voice shaking slightly.
She shook her head and pulled her hand away so that she could wrap her arms around herself. I knew that she was thinking about something. I also knew that I had to get her attention. Part of me was telling me that.
"Was it something I said?" I asked again.
"No," she said. "It's not your fault. I'm just thinking."
"Please tell me?"
She looked up at me, her eyes giving the saddest look. She stared at me and then laughed, just a short little chuckle. "You barely know me, but you're worried. That's cute."
"It's in my nature to worry about everyone, even those that I don't know."
"I appreciate that. Really, I do. I think I should be going though. It's not good for me to be here any longer," she said, pushing herself from the table, her pigtails swinging softly with the motion.
I reached up and grabbed her hand before she could leave. She turned back and looked at me, her head cocked to the side questioningly. "Stay just a little longer. I have an extra movie ticket to see Illuminated Decadence. I would love to have you join me. Please?"
She laughed softly again and sat back down, putting her hands beneath her chin, a smile on those painted lips of hers. "How could I say no to a free ticket to see the hottest new vampire movie. I suppose the damage has been done by now anyways." The last part she said in a whisper, and for a moment her expression darkened.
I strained to cheer her up. "What can I say, I may need a bandaid because of how hard I fell for you."
She laughed and took a drink of her drink. "You certainly are Prince Charming, aren't you? So, let me guess, you have a girlfriend though, right?"
I almost choked on my drink. I had actually forgotten about Jenna until that moment. Kit laughed at me and handed me a napkin. "Well... ummm... kinda?"
She raised a delicate blond eyebrow. "Kinda? How do you have a kinda girlfriend?"
"I don't know..." I said, shaking my head. I didn't know what to say. Did I still want Jenna? I knew that she was cheating on me, so why did I feel so bad about doing the same thing? "You see, she was actually supposed to be going to the movies with me, but she couldn't make it do to the fact that she is currently with some other guy. So...yeah...she's kinda my girlfriend."
"Well that doesn't sound like much fun. Why don't you just leave her? I always did think that it was stupid to stay with someone who cheats. I mean, if she has someone else, then why does she still need you? That seems kinda selfish to me. But, what do I know? I barely know you, and I certainly don't know her."
I looked at her and laughed a little. She was absolutly right. She had said exactly what I had been thinking. This little one was quite intelligent. She hadn't even accused me of being unfaithful for talking to her. "I guess, I'm just afraid to leave her. We've been together for 6 months. Plus, I'm terrible at flirting, so it may be a while before I could get another girlfriend." That eyebrow went up again and I laughed. "Okay, so maybe I'm not that bad. I just don't know."
"Do you feel like this," she motioned a hand from me to her, "is cheating?"
"A little. Is that alright?"
"I would be worried if you had said no. But I want you to think about what I said. You're too nice to have to deal with a girl who's cheating on you."
My heart swelled with happiness at hearing her say that. It felt so good to open up to a complete stranger. I watched her as she drank her Chai tea and a part of me hoped that this would never end. This girl actually had a sense of humor and was cute. She also had a brain of her own instead of having to borrow mine. She looked up at me, her straw tugging delicately on her bottom lip. "Did you know that it's rude to stare?" She asked, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"Someone may have mentioned that to me. I tend to ignore that sort of thing though. Especially when I can't help but stare."
"And why might that be?"
"Do you mean, why do I ignore some advice?" She frowned at me in mock anger and I laughed. "I know what you meant. I can't help but stare at you, because you are so captivating."
She laughed and made a shooing motion with her hand. "Just drink your Chai."
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