Tell me if it's good
 

Child medium

He leaves clues for his father’s cases. One after one, his father, and a murder detective believes he is the one solving all these cases. What was strange about it is that his work was amateur at best, until his sons second birthday. He was wondering why his job became easier and easier. Was it because the people committing the crimes were becoming dumber and dumber? Or was it due to the fact that more clues were around?
It was the 25 of October, and the father hit the hardest case in his whole career. He was at home, eating when he thought he figured out the murderer of 28 year old, John Gregory. He thought he was on the edge of figuring it out. The next day, he couldn’t find a baby sitter, and his wife was in the hospital because she had a sudden heart attack, one in the chronic line she had been having for about 5 years. It was hereditary. So he decided to take his son to the scene of the crime. He thought after all, what was the worst that could happen?
They arrived at the scene of the crime, an old apartment, which the father had visited many times before. Then something strange happened. The little boy began to cry. He actually started to scream. He performed bizarre hand motions death. Putting his hands to his head in the shape of a gun, and crying vigorously. He decided to take is son to the doctor to see what was up. He told his team to continue investigating until he came back. He aloud them an hour lunch break whenever they wanted.
They took a taxi to the hospital, and when they got out the baby was still crying. The taxi driver looked as if he was going to shove the meter down the child’s throat. The father paid the driver and walked into the facility. He sped to the child section, and arrived at the front desk.
“Hello, I need an appointment.”
“Well your lucky! The doctor’s free now!”
He rushed, almost knocking the poor nurse walking over with a blood sample.
When he was in the room, the father explained the symptoms. The doctor was astonished.
“Sir I haven’t seen anything like this ever.”
“Well what do you mean?”
“Sir, your son is a medium.”
“A what?”
“A medium sir. He can see how people have died.”
The fathers voice became loud. Parents and children were staring at the wall in shock.
“What the hell!? Are your trying to say that my son is some kind of freak?”
“No! Your son has a gift!”
The doctor’s voice was loud too. The baby started to scream louder.
“Why can’t you accept your sons ability?”
Baby: screaming
“That’s why! You think I want to hear that all the time?”
“Get out of my office. Now!”
The father stormed out of the office with his wailing baby in his arms, cursing under his breath. His goal for the rest of the day was to solve this case so he could relax for the rest of the day. He went back to the apartment and began investigating.
He found a gun in the corner of the house behind a bloodstained couch. The father was shocked. The father did an analysis of who was in the room between the time of the murder, and the morning before, due to the fact that the gun had no prints on it. There were three reports of people. Naomi Grant, Marcus Williams, and Jason Kennedy. Jason Kennedy and Marcus Williams were in the area in the time when John died.
Months later, it was found that Marcus and Jason had been found guilty of murder on John. The father had put them in jail, and he thought that this case had finally been put to rest. But the little boy, who was now three, had another vision and pointed to the wife. He said, “Wife kill too!” But his father ignored him. The boy had been ignored. No one listened.
10 years later, the 13 year old informed his father that he knew that Naomi Grant had something to do with John Gregory’s murder. The father did a re-analysis, found her guilty, and threw her in jail.
“I should always trust your abilities, son.”
“You better, if you want to keep your job.”
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i thought it was good when i wrote it, but now a couple days later, i thought that it wasnt very good. I rushed, due to the fact that this was homework, and i wanted to get dine with it. Rate it from 1-10 (10 being the best) i rate it a 2.
:roll:

Well im sure if you spent tie on it and rewrote it a bit itd be very ood. I love the concept of it. as it is nw a rushed version it gets a 4. But try rewritiing it on you spare time then repost it in this thread. Ill bet youll love it then

I'm moving this to the Subforum for writing help, since that seems to be what you're looking for.

Yes, very good ideas and all, but when you have the time, and if you want to do it, rewrite it at a slower pace. Since the part for school is already done I am assuming, take time to outline it and such and then work with it. I really do like the idea though. Current rating 3, for a good concept.