Ok, first off.
This IS a work done by me.
I am currently in the process of writing the story.
I am also hoping to maybe one day publish the story, with Cinema Bizarre's permission that is.
I'm hoping it is a good enough story that it can make it.
I know my writing doesn't flow like butter,
And I'm in serious need of a beta,
But I really hope I can get some good feed back and reviews dispite my obvious set backs.
I'm really looking forward to people's opinions on this story.
So if you read please please please please PLEASE tell me what you think.
Tips and hints are much appreciated and snide comments might make me cry.
Knowing that I'm doing well dispite my problems is what keeps me writing.
And if your willing to beta for me it would be much appreciated.
Thank you for your time.

~Lucrecia M-B Kreuz

(I will post the prologue to the story now. =D)




:offtopic: PROLOGUE:

I first met Alice when I was 4. My mother's old friend from high school had just moved back to Germany and we had gone to visit him and his daughter. If you ask me, I was a bit of an odd time to be moving.

They found it the funniest thing that she was 9 days older than me. Found it amusing that both of their children had been born so very close to each other.

She spoke very little German, seeing as she grew up in America with only one German speaking parent. I spoke absolutely no English, so communication was difficult in the beginning. But eventually she picked it up, slowly but surely.

We'd always hang out together, all day, everyday. Her favorite activity as a child was making Mud Pies. As we grew older, she turned more and more into a punk video game nerd. She loved music with her whole being, and always told me I should be in a band. She was very passionate about these sorts of things. So I began playing the drums, which I always loved anyhow.

She lived only with her dad. Her mother lived back in America. When they had moved here some years ago, her parent's had devorced. It wasn't the happiest of subjects for her. Her mother seemed to have been very important to her, yet she refused to go hack to the States to visit her. I could never figure out why she seemed to hate the thought so much and look so terribly sad about her decision every time.

It wasn't until high school, I believe, that I'd realized that I was in love with her. She was always so energetic it was hard to keep up with her. And she was always smiling. She was also very beautiful, my Alice.

She had the most unusual look. She kept her hair short, about shoulder length. One side grew in a silky black, and the other a creamy frost blond, like a natural version of platinum blond. It wasn't dyes or hair products, it was her natural hair.

Her eyes were every bit as strange. One being a grey-blue and the other a blue-green. Though every now and again they would change into the most peculiar Crystal Blue. It was the oddest sight.

Her face was gorgeous, so lovely it could shame that of an angels. Her eyes were large with long luscious lashes. Her lips were soft and thick, but not too thick. She had pale, pale skin, like the moon on deep still water.

She was always wearing a punk fashion. The typical plaid shorts with striped stocking and thigh high boots. A striped shirt with another sleeveless shirt on over it and a tie with skull and cross bones. The typical not-so-typical look.

I can still see it in my head. The lights that had blinded me, froze me in my tracks. Like a deer on the highway. The man in the car that took her away from me. It was my life that was intended. I heard her scream my name before shoving me out of the way and inevitably taking my place on deaths roster.

I remember waking in the hospital shortly afterwords. My arm was in a cast, and at first I hadn't remembered what happened. Then it all flooded back.

Where was everyone? Where was I? And most importantly, where was Alice?

That's when my mom walked in. She looked at me with a worried expression.

"Thank God your okay!" She said as she rushed to hug me.

"Mom, what happened? Is everyone alright?" I asked, hugging her back.

"A drunk driver, that's what happened. You're lucky to have come out of a scuffle like that with only a broken arm and a minor head injury."

"How is everyone else? And Alice, how is she?"

That's when I knew. My mother looked at the blanket, and tears welled up in her eyes. She began nervously crumpling the paper in her hand.

My Alice, my sweet Alice. My best friend and the girl I loved. I never got to tell her, and now she was gone.

"She died on the spot... The car hit her head on at 70 MPH. She didn't have a chance, the poor girl." She started bawling.

I'll never get to see her again. Never see her angelic face, or her odd hair and eyes. I'll never get to see her bounce up and down all over the place, or get to tell her how I feel. I'll never get to hold her close to me, or sit and watch endless hours of Japanese movies with her in the basement.

She was forever lost to the world. And forever lost to me.

The Girl (Chapter One)

Shinya walked quietly down the hallway. His hair was dyed platinum blond, and his eyes a lovely shade of green. He had luminous pale skin and a lovely complexion. His face was angular and very innocent.

He was wearing a white tank top with a matching white sleeveless Visual Kei jacket and pants.

He was tall and slender, but had good arm muscles. This made sense, seeing as he was a drummer.

He played in a band called Cinema Bizarre. They were fairly popular, considering they're few years as a band. He loved the drums, playing them was his greatest joy in life.

Shin turned the corner into a dressing room. Tonight was their first show in Berlin in over a month.

Another band member came running up behind him. Yukiru, Yu, patted Shin on the back while hopping into the room.

Wish the addition of Shin and Yu, the entire band was present. Strify; the singer, Kiro; the bassist, Yu; the guitarist, Romeo; the keyboardist, and Shin; the drummer.

Sadly, the original keyboardist, Luminor, had left the band. He left due to some health issue, and since then Romeo, Yu's soul brother and best friend, had been playing with us.

'She would have been so excited. She always thought I should be in a band. And I'm sure she would have loved them and them her as well.' Shin thought to himself, looking at his band mates.

"What's on your mind Shin? You look a bit depressed." Kiro asked, a worried look on his face.

"Nothing to worry about Kiro." Was Shin's only reply, a slight smile presenting itself of his face.

Kiro looked at him, doubt plain on his face. But he nodded and went on with his business. Whatever it was, Shin obviously didn't want to talk about it.

Finn knocked lightly on the door and popped his head in.

"You re on in 5 guys." He said, and then disappeared.

Shin glanced at the wall, imagining her propped up against it smiling and giving him 2 thumbs up.

"Good Luck, and have fun." He could almost hear it.

"You guys ready?" Strify said, pulling on his sailor hat and walking out the door. The others followed after him.

The show had gone great and the boys were weary. Strify flopped on the couch between Yu and Kiro, Romeo slouched on a chair and Shin took a spot curled up on the floor like a cat.

"You did great out there."

Shin sat bolt upright suddenly, making the others jump. That was unmistakably her voice. But that was impossible.

"Dude, Shin, what was that all about?" Romeo looked at him, his eyebrow raised questionably.

"Nothing, it wasn't anything. I... There was a spider on the floor, that's all." Shin looked down ad he said it, as if searching for it.

"A spider!!?! Where!?" Kiro squealed and he jumped and cowered behind Strify.

"Nowhere, I killed it." Shin replied.

"Shin, you've been acting strange all day, you ok?" Strify asked, concerned with Shin's health and well being.

"I'm perfectly fine guys, why do you keep asking me this?" Shin was beginning to get a bit aggravated.

"We're just worried about you Shin." Yu said, sitting up on the couch so he could properly look at his friend.

"Well don't be. I'm perfectly fine, just a little bit tired, nothing to be worried about."

"Shi..."

"If you say so. Just tell us if you need anything." Strify said, cutting off whatever it was Kiro was about to argue with him about.

"Thanks." He said as he laid back down.

'Why now?' Shin asked himself, once he was certain the others were done.

'After all this time, why am I hallucinating about her now? That WAS Alice, make no mistake.' She turned on his side and stared at the carpet, playing with and pulling some of the small strings.

Shin pondered over this for the next several days. In the end he decided it was because he had been thinking about her too much lately and he had been overly exhausted after the show, which is what made him imagine her voice.

He kept on this reasoning, that is, until a few weeks later. He, Strify, Kiro and Yu were out shopping for a birthday present for Romeo.

His birthday was in only a few weeks, and they had been out all day. They visited shop after shop after shop.

At the time, there were in the car, on their way to their next destination. While crossing over the bridge, that was when Shin noticed her.

The Other Girl (Chapter Two)

She was dressed in a maid style Lolita dress, with a typical head dress, a pair of black and white 'charade' shoes and stripped stockings. He had always wished Alice would dress in something of the sort, she would have looked so cute. But alas, they were "too frilly" for her taste.

This girl looked just like Alice. She had her angelic face, her strange eyes and even stranger hair. Was she real? Was she another hallucination or a Ghost perhaps?

She was standing in the direct center of the bridge, her arms raised and her hands cupping the area around her ears, yet not touching her head. It was as if she was trying to listen for something that wasn't far, but not near, something difficult to hear.

Shin stared at the girl as long as the moving vehicle would allow him to.

This girl, who was she? The only difference he had seen between her and his beloved Alice was their hair and eye color had been flopped.

Alice's blond was on the left side with the Grey/blue eye, leaving the black and blue/green eye on the right. This girl's hair had been flipped, with the black hair and blue/green eye on the left and blond hair and Grey/blue eye the right.

'Who could she be, having Alice's most distinguishing and peculiar features? Could it be dye? Was she cosplaying?' He asked himself, going over the image of this strange girl in his mind again and again.

'None of the fans know about Alice, I don't think. Who could she have been? How could she have found out?' He pondered this until Kiro tapped him on the shoulder.

"You coming?" He asked, his head popped in the doorway of the car.

Shin looked around a moment and realized they had arrived, and the others were waiting on him.

"Yeah..." He said, and started out.

'Probably just another hallucination. A distorted one.' Shin thought as he exited the car, on the way to yet another store.

Only a few days later, around the same time as the last, Shin saw her again. She was standing in the same place, in the direct middle of the bridge facing off one side to the river.

Once again, her hands were floating around her head. She had her eyes closed and was focusing quite intently on whatever it was she was trying to listen for.

Shin stared at her through the window of the car once more, passing by much faster than before. He had no chance of stopping the car and discovering who this strange girl was.

'Well,' he thought 'that's twice now. I wonder if this means she'll be here around the same time tomorrow?'

He went over her image in his head as he had done the last time he saw her, trying to nit pic for details, hints, anything.

Today she was wearing an Alice in Wonderland themed Lolita dress, little cards lined the bottom of the skirt with random crowns, teapots and suits floating around the rest of the fabric. She was wearing the same stripped stocking as the previous time and a pair of rockinghorse dollies. Her hair had been pulled into two ringlet pigtails, and her band pulled back to one side by a little star clip.

She was quite adorable, as he had always imagined Alice would be, in those clothes. Everything seemed to suit her to a 't'.

'I'll come back tomorrow. Hopefully she'll be here.' He thought while absently staring out the window as the scenery passed by.

Shin got up early the next morning and prepared himself. He started out with a nice, relaxing shower and a light breakfast. The he went to his room to dress himself.

For the day he decided on a black 'Dir en Grey' shirt and a pair of ripped up old jeans, something any average Joe teen would wear, rather than his usual Visual Kei. To complete his outfit, he wore a black wig. It was multi-useful, it fit the theme and helped keep him hidden from the public and fans.

"Where you headed Shin?" Strify asked while Shin was about to walk out the door.

"A place full of bad memories." He replied as he pulled the door shut.

'Lot's of bad memories.' he thought with a sigh.

Shin made his way to the bridge where the girl had been the last two time's he had spotted her. He walked fast enough to get there around the same time he had passed by in the car, but not any faster. He was obviously in no hurry.

As he approached the bridge a sudden shiver shot down his spine. The place was one he did not like traveling around on foot.

'This is where it happened...' His gaze slowly traveled down to his feet.

'This is where she died...' He sighed and forced back some tears.

He had promised himself long ago he would cry no more about it, but she was his best friend, and the girl he loved. The feat was a hard one.

Shin slowly began making his way up the side of the bridge, and as planned, to her. To the strange girl who looked like his Alice. Would she have any other resemblance to Alice, other that her looks?

As Shin hit the middle of the bridge, she was no where to be seen. He looked left and right, but she wasn't there.

'Maybe I was wro...' He turned to get a better look.

There she was, walking up the side of the bridge with a lovely smile on her face, like sunshine. She was almost skipping to her usual spot on the bridge, humming away to 'sweet dream' as she went.

It wasn't until she noticed him, did all that slip away. When she opened her eyes and saw him she stopped dead in her tracks, her smile fading away like an unwanted memory.

The Encounter (Chapter Three)

Shin stood there, looking at a mirror image of his beloved Alice. And this girl stared back at him, her eyes shifting a little bit uneasily.

Shin tried to say something, but nothing would come out. And he was having troubles breathing, like someone had shoved a baseball down his throat.

Today's Lolita dress had been music themed. The bottom of the skirt had keyboard keys around the rim and the rest of the fabric was littered with music notes. She was once again wearing those stipped stocking she seemed to favor and a pair of Mary-Janes. She had her blonde side pulled back into a half pigtail and a star clip, the black side remained untouched other than a mini crown off to one side.

She walked up to Shin and gently ran her hand down his cheek, and along the curve of his jaw.

Say his name... You know who he is... Shin... Shin...

She lifted her head up and looked at him, her hand resting on his neck. Her eyes had changed to that strange crystal blue Alice's sometimes turned.

"I'm so sorry I had to leave you, Shin.." Her eyes began to glisten with tears. "But it was not your time to go, I couldn't allow it. Please forgive me."

Tears began falling, making her face sparkle in the sun. Her eyes reverted back to their origonal color and she let her hand drop. She ran past him, going heaven knows where.

Shin stood there a moment, shocked and dumbfounded. Was it truly her? Truly his Alice? It couldn't be.

He put his hand where hers had trailed down his face, he could still feel the warmth. He turned, hoping to still see her, but she had vanished.

'Who is she? She looks like Alice, she sounds like Alice. But that wasn't Alice. Alice never smiled like that, and Alice never smelled like Vanilla.'

Shin slowly walked back down the bridge, making his was to his favorite Cafe. He always went there when he needed to think.

It was a small Anime Cafe called "Broken DreamZ." Alice's father owned the place, and Shin loved it there. That atmosphere was always very calming and he loved the smell of all the sweets.

He walked into the small stained glass Cafe. The tables have always looked the same, with their little pink, cake printed table cloths. And their decorative chairs.

All the waitresses dressed in pink uniforms with cake shaped aprons and mini-hats. Everything here was pink and brown, it was the Cafe's theme colors.

He sat down at a nearby table, staring out through the stained glass.

It had been a while since he visited here last. The memory of Alice was too strong here, she lingered in this building like no other place. She loved this cafe with all her heart. She always said it reminded her of 'her'.

'I never quite understood her sometimes. She really loved her mother. She always had a smile on her face when talking about 'her' but she never said anything else.' Shin sighed again, this was turning out to be quite the day.

He looked around the cafe for a bit, remembering every detail. The glass was clean as ever and the walls still had the cute little pink wallpaper that ofset the soft light brown carpet. There was a wall in the back lines with computers and another room off to the side filled with manga.

Alice loved sitting in that room for hours reading all the different styles of manga. Her goal was to plow through every book on those shelves.

She'd grab one and curl up on a window seat that could almost be doubled at a small bed and read for hours. You could tell how sad a book was to her by how often she'd rest her head up against the window and read. Or if it was really happy she'd sit foward and lean over the book.

Sometimes if one really irritated her she'd scowl and throw it across the way and not go and pick it up for at least a half an hour. She stare out the window with her arms crossed and act like nothing was wrong.

In the end she'd sigh lightly and go pick the book up, making sure it's in order and dusting it off. She'd hug it before she'd put it back on the shelf and make her way to get something sweet to calm herself.

Shin sighed as the memories came back. A waitress walked up and asked him if he would like anything then.

He ordered a small cup of his favorite Pumpkin Spice Smoothie and a slice of cheesecake. After his first bite, he meerely poked at it with his desert fork and stared blankly.

All of a sudden the victory tune from Final Fantasy went off, causing Shin to jump. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

He flipped it open and looked at the small screen, but there was nothing there. No messages, no missed calls, no voice mails. Nothing.

It confused him quite a bit. He looked around and no one else seemed to have checked their phones, so it must have been his.

Shin scowled a moment and looked at the screen again. There was nothing at all.

'Maybe I pressed the volume button..' He said before sliding the phone back in his pocket and going back to poking at his cheesecake.

All of a sudden, the sound went off again. Shin grabbed his phone quickly and checked it. Nothing, but the sound was still going off.

"Hello?" It sounded like Alice.

"I'm right here papa.. I'll be over in a second." A small giggle and a click of a phone shut.

People Talk (Chapter Four)

For a moment, Shin's heart stopped. She sounded the same, and different. Her voice had more of a melodic ring to it, like a good singers.

He turned and looked around, but there was nothing to be seen. He turned back and began poking at his cheesecake a little more.

'Why did I come here?' He thought, turning once more to staring out the window.

It took him a minute to focus, but he realized that the girl leaving the cafe was the girl from the bridge.

She was walking quite fast through the crowds on the street, as if trying to run from something.

'Maybe she isn't just a ghost?' He jumped up to chase after her, only to be stopped by Alice's dad.

"Shin! How long has it been?" He said in a booming voice.

Alice's dad was quite tall, somewhere around 6'4 or so, if not taller. He was slender but bulky the same, it was an odd look, but suited him well. He had shoulder length jet black hair tied back in a ponytail and emerald green eyes.

He was standing behind Shin with a large grin on his face, almost as if to eat someone, but be friendly about it.

"Hallo Mr. Kreuz. How are you?" She said with a meek smile.

"Doing good! How about yourself youngling'? Heard you joined a band, gettin quite famous!" He gave an odd sort of smile, "Finally mapping out some women?" He finished with a wink.

Shin laughed at this, his whole face turning red during the process.

"N... no!" He hiccupped and wiped his eye, "Not at all. I don't want to get involved just yet. I'll stick with my drums."

"Have fun with that. How long you stayin boy? I can whip up some of your favorite flan."

"I'd love that.." Shin began, "But I should probably get back before my band mates call the police and say I've gone M.I.A. They're very weird like that. If I'm not around the house for an hour I MUST be lost somewhere. Last time it happened I was at the library reading." He sighed a bit with the last and looked up.

"I've got to get going." He smiled slightly.

"Come back soon Shin. I miss seeing your face around here, even if it isn't accompanied by Alice's." He said, a bit of a sad smile on his face, "But I still like seeing ya boy."

Shin nodded briskly and turned to the door.

"Call ahead of time next time and I'll prepare your flan Shin!" He boomed behind him.

"Will do Mr. Kreuz!" He said while closing the door to the cafe behind him.

He had walked for a while before remembering his quest to find the girl.

'Damnit. I forgot all about that!' He whacked himself in the face and turned around and smacked into someone.

"I'm so sorry miss!" He stood up and went to offer his hand to the girl.

She was slender and had brown hair to her waist. Her skin was a creamy brown, and her eyes a shade of blue so strange it almost looked purple. She was dressed in the basic t-shirt and jeans with a pair of red and black stripped converse.

"I'm sorry! OMG, what have I done? I'm so CLUMSY sometimes!" She said as she took his hand and jumped up.

Shin was dusting himself off when she walked up and patted off his back.

"I'm so sorry, I really am careless." The girls voice was a bit squeaky, but it had a deep ring to it.

"It's fine," Shin began, "honestly, it is. Accident's happen." He smiled at the girl a bit and she flushed bright red.

"You... you're Shin... from Cinema Bizarre, aren't you?" She looked down at her feet as she said this.

'Uh oh, this is bad. Someone's recognized me.'

"Ye...yeah. How'd you know?" He looked around nervously.

"Your disguise isn't that well put together. You should of put on some movie make-up and a bit longer wig. And changed up your clothing style a bit." She said as she pointed, her voice no longer squeaky, but professional.

"Uhm... ok.." He said, confusion plain on his face.

"Oh!" She squeaked, "I'm sorry. My name is Toni and I'm a make-up artist. I was looking for my Nee-Chan when I bumped into you." She bowed, "Not to be mean or anything, but you don't have to worry about me knowing who you are. I'm not a fan, but my Nee-Chan is. It's the only reason I recognized you."

Shin sighed with relief, his identity wasn't quite in danger yet.

"I would stay and help you find your Nee-Chan if I could, but I've got to get back." He said with a smile.

She meeped.

"N... NO! That's... not necessary. Please, go on your way." She bowed again.

'That was an odd reaction...'

Shin smiled and made his way back to the house, and just as he suspected, Strify and Kiro were tearing up the place.

Kiro was the first to notice Shin was home. He ran up to him and put his hands on his shoulders and looked up at his friend, his eyes dripping with tears.

"Shin! There you are! We thought you might have been kidnapped! You were gone so long!" Kiro hugged Shin and cried.

Strify walked over and looked at Shin, worry covering his face. He put a hand over his mouth and cried quietly behind Kiro.

"I'm so glad your safe." Strify said softly and began sobbing into his hands.

Shin rolled his eyes and pried Kiro off him. He left the two of them huddled together in a heap crying in front of the door.

Romeo walked up and smiled at Shin.

"I told them they were over reacting and you were fine." He said as he walked by.

"Yeah, they're just overly dramatic sometimes." Yu said while walking past Shin.

Shin sighed a bit and went to his room and holed up like usual.

He was about to go take a shower when his phone rang. The melody of the song '30 Minutes' by t.A.T.u. played.

Shin stopped, his heart thudding in his chest. That was preset as Alice's ring.

Shin walked over to his phone. No name showed, just a number, as the song continued.

He opened his phone and looked at the screen, it was a voice message.

'But... it... she... it... can't.. be.. her. It just.. can't.. be.' He clicked the button and listened to the voice message, tears welling up in his eyes.