Hello, I am Touch of Grey! Pretty much everything in this thread is going to be copypasta from my Fanfiction.net account, so if you'd like to favorite anything, review, or give some constructive crit at the source, here's the URL for my profile there:

http://www.fanfiction.net/~touchofgrey

I'm going to post the name of every story along with said story, plus a rating and a pairing, if there is one. I know I twist the laws of canon a heck of a lot, but c'mon, it's fanfic! The main point is to put your favorite characters and would-be pairings into situations that they wouldn't normally be in. It's all for fun.

A final warning: I'm a serial slasher. If you don't like guy on guy relationships, as nonexplicit as I'm writing them, then I suggest going now. Aside from that, I hope y'all have a wonderful time reading my stuff!

PAIRINGS I WRITE:

Booster/Beetle
Kon/Tim (Superboy/Robin)
Querl/Lyle (Brainiac 5/Invisible Kid)
Eddie/Zat (Red Devil/Zatara)
Vic/Gar (Cyborg/Beast Boy)
Empress/Slobo

I also write friendship fics concerning Red Devil and Blue Beetle III, OC-centric stuff, and fics about Thad Thawne, aka Inertia.

Series: Young Justice
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor

It was a quiet day in the Justice Cave.

Too quiet.

“Hey, Robin?”

Impulse suddenly appeared out of nowhere, as he was often prone to do, holding a CD player and wearing a look of intense curiosity. Robin turned away from the monitors.

“Yeah, Bart?”

“We’re friends, right? You, me, and Superboy?” Robin smiled slightly.

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

Impulse looked pensive for a moment, and then he brightened. Robin made the mistake of taking that exact moment to put a bottle of Zesti to his lips.

“So then that makes Superboy the ho, right?”

It was a good thing Bart had superspeed, or else he’d be covered in grape Zesti.

“What?!” Bart held up hid CD player.

“Margaret Cho says that when three people are friends, there’s always the cute one, the smart one, and the ho. Cassie and Cissie are always treating me like I’m a little kid and calling me cute, so I’m the cute one, you’re Robin, which makes you the smart one by default, which leaves Superboy to be the ho.” Beneath the lenses of his mask, Robin blinked. While it was true that the Kid did have certain…ho-ish tendencies, that didn’t automatically make him the ho of their friendship trinity.

Then again, in the trinity that was Nightwing, Arsenal, and Flash, Roy was the ho, Wally was the jerk, and Dick was the cute one, the smart one, and the ho combined. So not all things followed a pattern. While Robin had been busy pondering to himself, Impulse had been busy figuring out another trinity.

“So in that line of thinking, Secret is really super cutesy despite being kind of a ghost, Cissie is a genius archer, and that would mean that Cassie-” Robin slapped a hand over his mouth.

“If you value your life, Bart, do not finish that sentence.”

Fini

Series: Teen Titans (circa 2003/04)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship
Pairing: Vic/Gar

Vic awoke suddenly, head pounding and looking at four walls that most certainly didn’t belong to him.

‘Okay, this isn’t my lab, and unless she recently painted the place purple, this isn’t Sarah’s guest room, either. Think, Stone! What did you do last night between leaving the Tower and waking up this morning?’

There had been a bar. There had most definitely been a bar. And singing. And...pantsless dancing (and why had the bartender called for that?). Kory had been there with Dick, and Roy had been throwing back shots with Grace like it was going out of style. Jade and Kyle had been...making out on the counter, as far as he could remember. How Kyle’d ended up dancing atop said counter wearing her bra was still a mystery to everyone, however, and he rally hoped it would stay that way. Gar had showed up halfway through the third round of tube and jello shots, complaining about having to sneak in and he’d- shit. Gar.

There was a shower in close proximity to whomever’s room this was, and it was just shut off. Vic prayed to every deity he’d ever heard of, plus a few he made up on the spot, that the person showering wasn’t who he thought it might be.

‘God, Allah, Buddah, Yahweh, X’hal, Azar, Rao, Cheezy McDougalsmith, lord of pizza, please please PLEASE don’t let that be my best friend. Or some random girl. Hell, please let that be a shower poltergeist and not a living being at all...’

The door opened and at that precise moment, Victor Stone lost all faith in random deities, real and fake.

It was an unsurprising fact that Gar Logan looked good soaking wet and wearing only a towel. The only really surprising fact in the lot was that the opinion had come from Vic’s mind. Noticing that the room’s other occupant was awake, the world’s first living zoo grinned.

“Morning, Vic. How’s your head?” That was it? No stupid nickname? No snarky commentry? Gar grinned again. “We didn’t sleep together, Chrome Dome. You’re still wearing your metal, see?” Oh. Hey. Well what do you know? “We just made out for three or so hours until you fell asleep and proceeded to use me as a living plush toy. For a guy made of metal, you are surprisingly inclined towards cuddling.”

Oh God. This was pretty much one of the biggest shock wakeups of his life, so how come he was more focused on the towel that was hanging onto Gar’s hips by sheer force of will?

“Um. Yeah. Could you, uh, put some clothes on? Please?” Gar’s grin was going from snarky to just plain obnoxious.

“You got it, buddy.” he said cheerfully, flinging off the towel.

Flinging off the towel.

Flinging off the towel.

This just in: we will be rescheduling this morning’s panic attack in order to admire that fine, fine ass.

Gar tilted his head slightly, managing to look hot, not goofy, in a pair of orange boxers with Scooby Doo on them and concerned at the same time.“You okay, Vic?”

“...you’re hot.”

Laughter was an expected reaction, but it was nonetheless unappreciated.

“I kinda got that, man, what with all the groping and all. So is this going to make things weird between us or are we gonna just roll with the right hook to the gut this morning has been and pretend it never happened? After all, you were pretty drunk.” Yeah, that was right, he had been- wait, he’d been drunk, but what about..? “Oh no, I was completely sober. I’m 19, remember? And the legal drinking age, last I checked, was still 21.” Oh shit.

Oh shit.

“Stop cursing in your head, Tin Man. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I was bi since, damn, since before I moved to L.A.. I figured it out somewhere between the time Yumi died and Joey went psycho, but the only reason I never said anything is because I kinda figured you already knew. And judging by the look on your face, you totally didn’t. But all that aside, I was a bit more focused on finding out if you were, which is why I made sure we didn’t get much further than making out and casual groping.” How the hell was Gar finding the time to be so coherent?! It was early, and they’d just spent the night making out! And groping! Mutual groping! And the thought of that was-

whoa. Good morning, lower extremities. Quick! Think of purple elephants! Guh, that reminded him of that fight between Gar and Doc Register. Much better.

Before which, Gar was blonde and normal looking and totally hot. After which, he was completely naked.

Shit.

“Stop cursing in your head, Vic.” Gar chastised, now crouching atop his dresser like some extremely sexy bird of prey. There was a joke in there somewhere, but Vic was far too hung over, sexually confused, and, to be frank, turned on to really care. “So where do we go from here? Weirdness, memory-blanks? What?”

“Sure, start out with the easy questions, Salad Head.” Gar’s obnoxious grin softened a fraction.

“No prob. Just as soon as you answer the main one.”

Victor groaned quietly, studied his own hands for a minute or two, then glanced at Gar from the corner of his eye.

“What if I just asked you out on a real date? One that had no booze but might end in groping anyway?”

Gar fell off the dresser. Of course, he changed into a cat halfway to the floor, to make it seem like he’d done it on purpose, but Vic knew him better than that.

“Are, are you serious, Vic? Because if you’re screwing with me, I swear to God-”

“If it turns out I’m subconsciously screwing with you, feel free to kick my ass from here to Tamaran. But as I’m genuinely asking you out...what do you say?” A muscle twitched in Gar’s jaw as he chewed on his lip.

“Can I get that in writing? My agent always said-” Vic laughed, stroking the insanely soft fur between Gar’s kitty shoulder blades.

“Aw, shut up, Green Genes. I’ll type you up a full proposal later, once my head stops feeling like its being kicked by kangaroos in wooden shoes.”

They sat there in an amiable, almost blissful silence for the better part of ten minutes, and then Gar ruined it by speaking.

“Because if you’re screwing with my head without bothering to attend to the rest of me, we’re gonna have some serious issues.”

And with a look of serene peacefulness on his face, Victor Stone pushed his best friend and maybe-sorta boyfriend off the bed.

Fini

Sarah Simms, because Sarah Charles was clearly Cyborg’s beard. Yeah, I’m going back to goofy. Slightly. Because I really can’t write these two without goofiness entering the mix. I’m pretty sure that some day I’ll go the full distance and write porn for these guys, but when I do, Gar will be holding a rubber chicken during the entire damn thing.

Series: None in particular were used, it's just Booster and Beetle.
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Booster/Beetle

The last thing Ted was expecting after putting in a long day at KORD Inc. was to see Booster poking his head through his office door.

One look at Booster's grin, though, had him immediately saying, "No, absolutely not. Whatever you're thinking, no."

Booster waved at Ted's secretary before walking into the room, shutting the door behind him. He continued grinning as he walked closer. "I had an idea."

"What'd it feel like?" Ted asked sarcastically, standing up and coming around his desk to meet the man.

Ignoring the teasing tone of his boyfriend's voice, Booster reached out to lay a hand on Ted's shoulder. "You'll like this idea," he said, a thread of excitement in his voice. "Trust me. It’s about your next vacation."

"Now I'm really worried," Ted muttered, eyes widening as Booster leaned in close, whispering into his ear.

"Ted, lets go to Canada."

Ted blinked rapidly, processing the odd request. "Why? All they have in Canada is hockey, snow, and French people. And frankly, I'm not fond of any of those things."

"And legal gay marriage."

"Right, and legal- wha?" Booster chuckled, reaching into his jacket pocket.

"What I'm asking, Ted, is if you'll marry me. Will you marry me?"

The ring was simple, just a small band of gold with a little blue stone in the middle that looked suspiciously like a scarab, but it took Ted's breath away.

"What? Are you, we couldn't, oh Michael!" in a most uncharacteristic move, Ted threw his arms around the other mans neck. Booster grinned.

"I take that as a yes, then?" Ted sniffed as he slid the ring onto his finger.

"No offense, Booster, but duh." The brunette laughed at the affronted look on his friend's, no, fiancé's face, and the blonde pinched him. Then it was Booster's turn to laugh as Ted glared at him. The look softened after a minute, then a wicked smirk appeared in its place.

"So, which of us gets to tell Gardner?"

Fini

The part about who got to tell Guy was simply put in for my benefit. You know he'd freak out and run into a wall, or something. I aime you all. And I don't really hate French people, I just hate that they're horrible tippers. Also, in case y'all couldn't tell, I like to use their words randomly.

Series: Teen Titans (current roster)
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor

There were several a perfectly good explanations as to why Jaime Reyes refused to succumb to the recent outbreak of teenaged boys growing their hair long.

For one thing, he wasn’t a dirty hippie. He had showered once a day before becoming a superhero, and twice a day now that he spent sixty percent of his day in a bug suit. He washed his hair three times a week, which was plenty. And when he woke up in the morning? He ran a comb through it twice, and he was set to go. Besides, he was dating someone with long dark hair. Sure, they say that after a while, couples tend to look alike, but that was just pushing it.

But the main reason that the third man to call himself Blue Beetle had decided to keep his hair short was thus: Titans Tower was full of chicks. Full of chicks. Chicks that loved to do weird things to hair whenever their target wasn’t paying attention. It could get ugly sometimes.

It had been okay when it was just him, Eddie, and Cassie. Cassie pretended to be far too preoccupied with being a ‘grown-up’ to really do something like play with someone else’s hair, even if Eddie had woken up with a French braid on more than one occasion after passing out on the couch. Then Megan and her Dark Side Club survivors had shown up, and the wackiness began.

Static was a nice guy. He also had some of the best dreads that Aquagirl had ever seen. So she braided them together one night while the team was watching Futurama. No one dared to get close enough to Kid Eternity to touch his hair, so Eddie was routinely mobbed by people wielding brushes and curling irons. Strangely enough, he seemed to love it. Whether the former demon had a weak spot for people playing with his hair or just liked the attention had yet to be figured out. Either way, Eddie would end up having a new hairstyle every time Jaime saw him. And the sight of him in cornrows would probably never leave Jaime’s mind. But the final act of horror had occurred on a Friday afternoon.

It had been raining all the way from El Paso, and as the Tower finally appeared on the horizon, Jaime figured that he’d at least have the chance to dry off before the chaos started.

As if he could ever be that lucky.

Virgil came tearing down the hallway and into the rec room, each dread adorned with a little bow. Kid Eternity wasn’t far behind. It seemed that Bombshell had embraced her girlier side while at the same time being the only person brave enough to touch a guy who had technically been dead for years…and put him in sloppy pigtails. The wheezy laughter following their escape route came from Eddie, who had been given the full poodle treatment by Megan.

“They look so stupid! Don’t you think, B?”

Looking from one guy to the next, Jaime reactivated his scarab and took off through the open window, at the same time, putting out a call to his mother.

“Hey, mom? If I was to say I wanted to shave my head, what would you- okay, how about a crew cut? Something really short. That crazed Martians can’t put bows in…”