
09-14-2008, 03:01 PM
I love how this poem flows, it's like a verbal stream. The only thing I'd say to alter is perhaps the third verse..."It's eternal", etc. That verse seems different in flow than the rest of your poem...the rest of your lines have about three to five syllables, while this verse has three or less. Otherwise it's a really nice poem that gets a lot said in very few words. :]
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