Let's pretend we aren't ourselves
And set our sins against each other on the shelves
I hate this tension that we've created
And my love for you still hasn't faded
I realize you don't know
The message, the gratitude I want to show
She's the barrier I have to face now
But to get through it, I don't know how
You saved me from hell
You did it so well
Now if only I could repay you
But there is so much we have went through
So much that can't be repaired
Without past grievances that have flared
I just want you know
There are so many memories I can't let go
For one, there is you
I don't know what is even true
You said you loved me
But I knew it couldn't be
So I told so many lies
It was not a surprise when you said your good-bye
Tell me what to do
What can I prove to you
You made me set down my knife
You saved my life
Now I can't live without you


By Mixx


PS. This is all true, the guy I wrote this too saved my life...

Aww.. That's very deep.
It somehow reminds me of a situation with my best friend.

Some things we cling to, other's are here to cherish, and it's obvious you cherish him in the depth of your heart.

"...Tell me what to do
What can I prove to you
You made me set down my knife
You saved my life
Now I can't live without you..."

It's touching. I love it. It shows some despair in the situation, as if you're willing to do whatever it takes to make things right again. The emotions you wrote down are perfectly clear, and nicely described.

Well done. ^-^ I hope to read more of your writing.

Mimi
~~<333

Hmm, this is pretty well written, though I could see some lines revised not too many of them seemed out of place.

I believe that if you had a template from which to write, then it would be better. Template meaning iambic pentameter or something like that.

Other than that, though, I think the composition is good and the meaning (which I always admire more than the composition of poetry) is quite touching.

Job well done.. ^^