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Closet Shadow
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#1
Old 03-12-2009, 09:25 PM

I'm very very new to poetry, so I'm not even too sure if this goes here, but I'm going to give it a shot.
This poem/whatever it is, is based on a story of mine.
So please, any feedback would be nice and any questions I'll answer as well as I can ^3^

The Time Watch


I place this watch in your possession.
Bind it, with this leather cord,
about your neck and never forget
This trinket puts you in an important
Position.

You now control time and space
Only but twelve times over.
Remember now that if you t'were to
Loose it too soon, it would only
Mean a quicker doom.

I trust you with this clock as
I was trusted with it. Now go, and,
Like so many others, use your powers
To save the world twelve times over again.

I place the Time Watch in your possession.


Medusa Flame
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#2
Old 04-05-2009, 03:47 PM

nice poem,Closet Shadow.

Closet Shadow
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#3
Old 04-06-2009, 10:46 PM

Thanks, Medusa!

Medusa Flame
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#4
Old 04-12-2009, 05:07 AM

Your welcome.

DoomStar
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#5
Old 04-17-2009, 01:42 AM

cool poem,thats reminds of doctor who:hes a time-lord <3 if you dont know.

Kidalanna
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#6
Old 04-25-2009, 08:43 PM

That's an interesting poem, I can't seem to find its rhythm, though. >.<
In the second stanza, did you mean 'loose' as in "His tie was too loose." or did you perhaps mean to type 'lose' as in "Don't lose your homework, or you'll get a bad grade." ?
Sort of confuzzled me. o.o

Nice work, though, I like it lots. ^^

Closet Shadow
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#7
Old 05-01-2009, 02:34 PM

Doomstar,
Thanks!
I know who the doctor is! I love him, he's so funny ^3^

Kidalanna,
Like I said, I didn't know much about poetry when I wrote this ^^;;
And yes I meant like "lose your homework". Sometimes English confuses me >.<

Medusa Flame
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#8
Old 11-13-2009, 04:56 AM

Don't worry about that English still confuses me. I don't know why but other laguages jest make more sense.

 



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