I am always looking for critique on my poems...If you would please tell me what you think. The poem will be written first, then a one senteced discription. If you need me to furthur explain anything....please just ask....I know one is long.






INHUMAN

I feel inhuman
I've been made this way
Why do you torture me?
Why must I be chosen?
What have I done?
My father? My mother? My sisters?
Tell me!
What can I do?
Nothing.
You've made me uncapable
You've made me inhuman
Can it ever be made right?
Never.

I wrote that poem in response to the book Night by Elie Wisel. It was his account of the Holocaust.

SILLY LITTLE DREAMS

I am silly and full of silly little dreams
I wonder why people can't be kind
I hear the laugh that no longer is there
I see the smile that needs to be free
I want everyone to laugh and smile like the child they still are
I am silly and full of silly little dreams

I pretend that I am still a child
I feel the happiness that has been long forgotton
I touch the hand of the inner child that was locked away
I worry no one will laugh again, fully, truly, and open-heartedly
I cry for the laughter, smiles, and inner children that may never see daylight again.
I am silly and full of silly little dreams

I understand people can't relive every good memory without a little of the bad
I say that the inner child always has its strength
I dream of adult's inner childs still run rampant in their hearts
I try to be true to myself now and my inner child
I hope adults and teens never forget where they started nor the dreams that were then
I am silly and full of silly little dreams.

I wrote the poem above about myself. In English class we were doing I am poems. The first one I wrote will be below.

I AM


I am passionate and strong
I wonder what goes through other's minds
I hear the cry for help that is not cried
I see emotions hidden behind the mask
I want to help those who gave up hope
I am passionate and strong


I pretend I can fix anything when I know I can't
I feel sorrow for those who cannot love
I touch souls and help them heal
I worry about the little things I know I cannot change
I cry for those who shed no tears and for those who fear
I am passionate and strong


I understand why people lie
I say life can go on even after things go wrong
I dream for a day where we all understand
I hope for everything to be okay everywhere, even where it's hopeless
I am passionate and strong

The poem you just read is the 1st 'I am' poem that I wrote.

PROUD SISTER

I am a big sister and proud
I wonder how long she'll need me
I hear people cheer for her success
I see her being independent and strong
I want her to always need me, even though I know she won't
I am a big sister and proud

I pretend she is still little and needs my help
I feel the proudness of a mother bear when her cub first hunts successfully
I touch her acceptance speech for a prize so grand
I worry of not being needed anymore
I cry for the day she takes care of me
I am a big sister and proud

I understand she will be great without my help
I say only I truly know her
I dream we'll be close forever
I try to stay uber important to her
I hope she finds a happiness greater than I can give her
I am a big sister and proud

The above poem was done for my little sister.

NOT ENOUGH


People who think they know me
need to shut up.

knowing my favorite color
is not enough

knowing who my friends are
is not enough

knowing what instrument I play
is not enough

knowing my favorite food
is not enough

knowing who I like and love
is not enough

Knowing my favorite band
is not enough

knowing my favorite book
is not enough

knowing how many people I've dated
is not enough

knowing how many times I've been dumped
is not enough

knowing I'm smart
is not enough

knowing my little quarks and putting up with them
is not enough

knowing my dress size
is not enough

knowing how to make me laugh FOR REAL
is enough

knowing when I need space but won't give it to me cuz you care too much
is enough

knowing when I need your love
is enough

knowing that when I cry for you it's real
is enough

knowing how to make me smile when the whole world seems dead
is enough

knowing my love is strong and real no matter what
is enough

knowing how playing music makes me feel
is enough

knowing my heart is true, always and forever
is enoguh


If you don't know any of that know-it-all

Then your a know-it-all who knows NOTHING!

Obviously people thought they knew me, I was just setting them straight.


FAR AWAY

When you are here
There is nothing to fear

You hold me tight
And tell me everythings alright

When I'm on my own
I'm still not alone

Your presence is strong
But this is wrong

We can't be
You and me

No one will comprehend
Just reprhend

In your eyes
I see blue skies

When all hope dies
I look in your eyes

I see that you and me
Can be

This last poem is when I was thinking of someone very special to me.

I guess no one likes my poetry enough to comment......I'm so sad....:(

Don't feel discouraged. Poetry doesn't get a lot of responses generally. It's not a fast moving forum by any means. ^^:;

i like your poems, and i write as well i have mine on here so go check them out and tell me if you like mine.. and keep up the good work

I like your first poem there, 'Inhuman', I can relate to it and I think you are very good ^-^.