Ok so these are my poems i have wrote.
They are in no particular order but the poem "i am" was my earliest one.

I love critiques
I would love to hear what you think about my poems and why you love them or why you hate them.

I am

I am the echo of your unspoken words
The endless laughter of your eyes
I am the beat of your heart
I am the music in your voice
I am the lies that you speak
And the truth that you seek
I am the hearts that you break
And the lives that you take
I am your sorrow,
Your anger,
Your joy,
I am the thoughts on your mind
The memories in your head
Repeating over and over again
Making it hard to think
Making it hard to fall asleep
I am there in you dreams
I am what’s haunting your sleep
I am what makes you want to scream
I am your fright, and your grief
But most of all, I am the joy in your heart
And the love deep inside.
I am your hope.



_________________________________________________



Lies

I see lies in your smiles
Lies I see with my eyes
I hear lies spread to my ears
Lies that have brought me tears.
You are bringing me down
So down underground
I can’t see the sky
I can’t see the light.
I reach for the knife
And cut into our life
Cut deep, make it bleed
My feelings of hate
Get stronger each day
That I want to escape
But no exit could lead me out of this place
No road I can take
To escape from this mental state.

Lies and Butterflies

I see your lies
Turn into butterflies
They flutter around my eyes,
Disguised.
They whisper into my ear
Tell me, how do you feel?
Are you sad?
Because your butterflies are dropping down dead.

I win again

You are longing for me
I could tell
I put a spell on you
Better beware
My love is like a fire
It spreads through your mind
It goes down your veins
And into your heart
You cannot resist me
Why do you try so hard?
You cannot defeat me
I win this time

Breaking my heart

Staying up day and night,
Wonder, pleading
Why don’t you love me back?
Thoughts of you keep messing with my heart
You wont leave me alone
Your inside my mind
Killing me slowly
Breaking my heart.

Trapped

When you said you loved me
I knew you lied
Though why I fell into your arms
I don’t know why.
I stumbled and fell
I fumbled and yelled
But I couldn’t get away from your hypnotizing gaze
Your lips
Your eyes
You caught me with your lies
And I couldn’t resist
I fell so deep
Into love
I couldn’t break free

Prisoner

Your mesmerizing love
Spreads like a flame
Catches me on fire
And drives me insane
Your love is a dangerous thing
It burns deep into my heart
And scars me inside
You wont let me go
Keeping me chained up tight,
Prisoner to your love
I try to put up a fight
But I cant get away
You hold a tight grip on me
You want me to stay

ok so those are my poems. I have not put dates on them but the first poem was I am which i wrote when i was 11.

Thank you for reading them and I would really love to see some comments

Thank you for reading them..

I will try to write more poems and add them here as well

Is the "I Am" poem based off of another poem at all? I had to do that one in high school... or was it junior high. "I Am The Woman of The Future" or something like that...

I do like your poems, though. :) My only critique would be that since you do a lot of free verse, it couldn't hurt to use regular punctuation at the end of your verses to aid the reader in finding where your intended pauses are, etc.

I'm always afraid to post my work online in case it got stolen.

Thank you for the critique. I dont really care about punctuation in poetry so i always leave them out. Although i will try to add some in there to see how it turns out.

The poem "I Am" was actually inspired by a poem i read in elementary school called "Where I'm From" by George Ella Lyons, and from other students examples.

I also really so like your poems. My only comment would be that its hard to tell what the general beat of the poem is. Maybe it's just me, but I usually find myself looking for a rhythm to follow when reading something.

Here is a poem i wrote recently. I was trying desperatly to come up with something good ever since my poets block. (the last poem i posted must have been written over 4 months ago)

I have a problem with this one and i need your help. To me it seems very incomplete, even though i have no idea how to finish it. So please any comments or suggestions would be helpful.

Invisible

I feel
so empty,
So invisible
so down
in the ground,
and so miserable
can you tell...
what i feel
when you look
my way?
do you
understand
my pain?
can you relate
in
any
way?