[[Please give me an honest critique. I'm not looking for "It sucks" or "OMG! It's so good!" Give me your honest opinion about what you thought of it. I mean what you like, what you don't, and what you think I should improve on. That would be very much appreciated!]]
Our Love is a Battle
Broken down by chains
Swallowing the pain
Forgetting the words of hurt
and all the blood on my shirt
You have no idea who I am
As I lay in the sand
You’ve beaten me heartless
And my life’s now a mess
I’ll try to get up as I always had
but my legs are now weak, it makes me mad
I never got an opportunity
To get onto my brittle knees
If I got that far, I could have stood up
But the imagine of your face could make me erupt
Nothing matters to me anymore
Because after I met you, I was absolutely quite sure
That maybe you and I could forgive all our sins
We could come to an agreement, so everyone wins
Although it seems, you have made it quite clear
Through all of the minutes of all of these years
That nothing we say will get through our minds
We can’t dig down deep, to the love we could find
and even if it were possible you could find my heart
It’s too late, cause this time you tore it apart
I want to say I forgive you, but I’m afraid it’s too late
Too battles have destroyed me, separations our fate
Everyone said our love would end up a battle
Look at us now, even after a minor rattle
We were mentally strong, but emotionally weak
Now after this, you’ll probably see me as a freak
Everything we ever had, now it’s all gone
Through the hills, the stars, the universe beyond
and even I wanted to, I’d never want it back
Because look where its got me, yet another attack
If this is the last time then you better believe it
Even full forgiveness wouldn’t be close to how we would get
You’ve attacked me for the last time as far as I know
Attacked my heart, soul, and body with a heavy, fatal blow
To enter this situation again I’d have to die
So for now, or forever...this is going to be good-bye...