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Vivid Fizz
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#1
Old 01-25-2010, 08:06 AM

Liquid Sin
Here I am
Just me alone
With Liquid Sin
Beneath my Bones

I take the needle
Pierce my skin
Watch it crawl
With Liquid Sin


This isn't right
The rush within
So far from home
With Liquid Sin


Feels so Good
This feeling in
That I get
With Liquid Sin


I try to stop
But I can't win
Half way dead
With Liquid Sin


Here I am again
Just me Alone
With Liquid Sin
Beneath my Bones


Angry Volcano
The villagers waited in dismay
To see the volcano god’s face
The sacrifice had ran away
With no one to take her place
At midnight or so it’s claimed
He started to spit fire
Blood red the moon was stained
Down his side drooled volcanic mire
"To the river!" cried the priest
There the lava was sedated
Yet piranhas for the feast
In the water waited


Summer Child
Remember when we used to play?
When we picked wild flowers?
Remember the days spent laughing?
The days we lay in the sun for hours?

To think, your memory fades,
Yet mine is so vividly bright.

I remember when you left me behind
When you put away children’s toys
I wonder what you think you’ll find?
Find in this big, adult world of yours?

While I sit, sit and wait forever
Content in waiting for “I love you”

Ivy grows through my eyes
As ivy climbs through your head
In your old and fragile years
You wish you were with me instead
With me to sing and dance all day
With me to hold you tight
But as your breath dwindles down
Plants cover me tonight

One day we’ll find each other again
I’ll stay here until then, in our garden

Return to me

This
This isn't right
This living Hell
This game he plays
This Kiss and Tell
This fraud and hoax
This Pantomime
This Twisted plot
This "love divine"

Fang13
(-.-)zzZ
388.42
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#2
Old 02-07-2010, 07:23 PM

Ooo... I liked the last ones the best. Had a nice rhythm. You could clap to it.

I'm not very sure it's necessary, but maybe punctuation? Unless you want your poem to sound like you don't need to take a breath--which in some cases, is okay. Like that last one. I think. You could just speed right through...

*ahem* Unless you aren't me and read slowly.

 


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