This is a poem I made, hope you enjoy it. Comments are very much welcome :)


From the sun lit sky
To the moon lit night
From the Heaven above
To the Hell below
I'll alwasy love you

These few words
Aren't just words
They're much more
A promise

And every beautiful color
in the georgous sky
is a thousand years
I keep this promise

If I had
Just one last breath
This is what
I'd say:

From the sun lit sky
To the moon lit night
From the Heaven above
To the Hell below
I'll always
always
love you

that's really pretty ^-^

I'm liking this poem -
You haven't used force and generic rhymes which makes me smile. Some poems just frustrate me. xD
Anyway!
This seems to be full of emotion, and it really works.
Perhaps, though, be careful of cliches, and repetition, for example;
"From the sun lit sky
To the moon lit night"

I'd say keep one of the lit's there, but you've used the same word twice in two lines, and unless done deliberately and insanely well (which is hard!) it can make your brain just skip over it.

Just my opinion though!
Overall, well done.
>w<

Thanks both of you :)


Yeah, I noticed myself about the "lit" I couldn't figure out which other word to use that would make it sound better, so I let it as is haha.

That is some beautiful poetry right there. I really like the middle verse, very deep.



On a side note, what about: "The sunny sky / the moon lit night"? It's the same number of syllables and it sounds alright to me. Then again, I think it sounds fine now. I totally thought the repetition of the word "lit" was deliberate and worked.