Thread Tools

bethanynel813
\ (•◡•) /
51.62
bethanynel813 is offline
 
#1
Old 04-20-2010, 11:06 PM

I have no idea where to post my songs... so I will post mine here. If i posted it in the wrong spot, please (don't) beat me with a stick and (do) move it. Thanks! : )

Look Back


Though just sixteen

she’s the Prom Queen.

The boys wrapped around her finger

and girls in angry steam.


The envy of the girls

is her boyfriend.

They kiss in the halls

and backstab their friends.


She’s a jerk.

And when she gets C’s.

Her mom smiles,

and takes her to get ice cream.


Looking good
is her life.
She the most popular kid you’ve ever known.


though she has her strife.


Everyone knows

stupid’s her middle name.

But they also know

that’s how she got her fame.


But one night,

one drive

really ruined

her life.


She’s driving from a party

at one o’clock.

Her friends in the backseat

listening to rock.


She is drunk as can be

she can barely stand.

But she says she’ll drive,

so they don’t reprimand.

Big mistake.

It’s not okay.


She swerves as she drives

like a maniac.

It’s all her fault,

she doesn’t look back.

CRASH!



She dead at the hospital,

it’s announced at nine.

Her friends are crying,

while their just fine.


Her mom and dad say

“It’s too late for anything.

WHY? NO?

We can’t just cry and sing.”


It’s too bad.

She didn’t look back.

Sometimes it’s good too.

Or you will be attacked.


Though just sixteen

She was prom queen.

She had the boys wrapped around her finger.

And the girls were in angry stream.


LOOK BACK!

Dmitri Blair
The Avid, Slightly Crazy Kid.
929.49
Send a message via AIM to Dmitri Blair
Dmitri Blair is offline
 
#2
Old 04-21-2010, 01:47 PM

I think it's a bit sad,
but that's probably what you were going for.
Do you have a beat and a melody to it?

bethanynel813
\ (•◡•) /
51.62
bethanynel813 is offline
 
#3
Old 04-22-2010, 02:40 AM

It was sopposed to be sad, but mostly, I guess... moving?

um... not really. I keep thinking of melodies that don't fit...

Knerd
I put the K in "Misspelling"

Assistant Administrator
8553.39
Knerd is offline
 
#4
Old 04-23-2010, 01:00 AM

If it's alright with you, I think that I'll move this into our Poetry subforum. Lyrics are a type of poetry, after all. :yes:

bethanynel813
\ (•◡•) /
51.62
bethanynel813 is offline
 
#5
Old 04-23-2010, 09:51 PM

Perfect. : )

funnybunny
The Twouble Maker owo
58.60
funnybunny is offline
 
#6
Old 05-01-2010, 11:39 PM

I like it. It's kind of like a message for people to think before they act. But why did everyone hate her? What did she do wrong? It's not a bad thing to be popular...

bethanynel813
\ (•◡•) /
51.62
bethanynel813 is offline
 
#7
Old 05-02-2010, 12:04 AM

They kiss in the halls

and backstab their friends.


She’s a jerk...


and

Everyone knows

stupid’s her middle name.

But they also know

that’s how she got her fame.


what I meant is she isn't likable, but people pretend to like her.

Popular doesn't mean bad, I know. I am not of a popular-obsessed looser at my school.

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

 
Forum Jump

no new posts