Thread Tools

Cat Eye
(っ◕‿◕)&...
6122.80
Cat Eye is offline
 
#1
Old 10-23-2010, 02:09 AM

Building Block

Time has flown so fast
Since the best and worst times
But I've put that behind me
Trying to move past this block
That you've placed on me

You don't know do you?
About this special block
But that's fine
I'll just use it to build

It seems to be a strong foundation
Instead of sinking sand
So now, thanks to you
I shall begin a new

I have started building
It is slow and tough work
But I am not new to that
It was also hard and tough work
To repair what you left broken

But now I have something better
I have been renewed
Someday I hope to see again
Your smiling face
Neither of us bitter
But happy, at peace


That You Were With Me

The pain of the past
It still lingers
It remains in my heart

I can't let it go
Lesson may be lost
Reminds me
The past is real
Not a dream
Like me other
Memories

The pain you've caused
Remains in me
I feel alive
Because of this pain

Thank you
For this scrap
Of humanity

Thank you
For letting me know
I was alive
For this brief period
That you were with me




There you go.... .-.

Mystic
(ο・㉨・&...
487.28
Mystic is offline
 
#2
Old 10-26-2010, 11:20 PM

The first one starts off with a nice flow but when it gets to the second stanza the first line is too long and throws the flow off a bit from there down. I like the subject matter of both them poems though and even though they are fairly simple they were nice to read.

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

 
Forum Jump

no new posts