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-   -   Haiku about da kitty (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=193963)

Jaijin 02-01-2012 03:33 AM

Haiku about da kitty
 
I miss you yumeh,
Please come home to me soonish,
Will be near the door.

NeuzaKC 02-06-2012 07:51 PM

I appreciate what you're trying to do, but sadly you didn't achieve it.

A haiku is supposed to be a poem of seven-five-seven syllables, not the contrary. Your "haiku" goes like this:

4-7-5

A haiku is seven-five-seven syllables for a reason: it is harmonical and sounds correct when you read it. An odd and uneven number of syllables written that way is not a haiku. There is also the matter of purpose. A haiku is conventionally dictated as a series of natural moments crossed together to create an imagery. Your attempt is quite flat in the sense that it's just pretty much a thought put out in writing. There is no moment of nature and no background, so even though it may seem quite rude, this is very poor and it definitely not a haiku.

Keep practising!


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