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[..Post Your Poems..] - As many as you want!
Many of you write poems, and I would like to see all the different styles.
This is a place that I expect to be respectful and polite, while doing so you may use constructive criticism. This includes telling people what they could do to either change the poem or what they could do with future poems to make them even better. Users must take note when being critiqued that everyone has a different writing style. If there is someone critiquing your poem and you do not like their advice, simply thank them and don't use it. If there is someone being very rude, then tell them they are going against the rules, and to please exit the thread. All writing it talent. =) Discuss: -Why do you write poems? -What puts you into the right mood to write a poem? -How do you use rhymes? -Anything else relating to poems. Here are some of my poems: (Comments are appriciated). -Memory Kills- Another day full of smiles Until I’m by myself at night Slowly my smiles fade away As my memories recite My music flooding my ears Only making it dig in deeper My mind starts to race As my mood falls steeper To know his face and his name Makes me lose my mind I dream again that nightmare Hoping someday I’ll leave it behind I wanted to help him smile I know loving him was no mistake Because even now I do But I couldn’t bare the heartache Each of his lies tore me apart But I tried so hard to believe I persuaded myself we were forever Maybe I was just being naive Under his spell I’d do anything He got away with stealing my pride He made me forever afraid Of being used and pushed aside To this day I still remember Everything like it was yesterday Sometimes I wish it never happened But I wouldn’t be who I am today I’ll never forget his face Or his dark brown eyes Forever I will wonder If they will always be full of lies -Claire 1/2/06 --------------------------- -Humid eyes- It’s so hard when you're not here But just as hard when you’re near I hesitate my true emotions I don't want to cause commotion My heart weakens With every word I speak I hold back my humid eyes To keep me from going weak It's not only the affection I crave But the affection I crave to give It's so hard to let it go But in the end I’ll live -Claire --------------------------- -My Lullaby- I walk into the room You don’t have to scream I can hear you You’re stealing my self esteem I try to make it past I don’t want to get into it I’m always wrong Because you would never admit Slamming the door behind me Hoping you’ll leave me there Realizing I’m crying I only wish I believed in prayer As I listen from my dark room I can hear my family collapse The screaming echoing in my head As I wait for the typical relapse Never-ending suffering Until someone gets the last word Repeating those things That we have all heard My music deafening My voice so pretty when I cry Are you starting to regret That day in July? -Claire --------------------------- -Be Free- Slit my wrists...take away my pain Slit my throat…as I try to explain Gash my heart…with your lies As the tears spill…from my eyes Living my own nightmare…as my insides intertwine Embracing your soul…as you destroy mine I try to forget you…but you’re haunting me Screaming in fear…to anyone I plea I smell your liquor breath…as you kiss my bloody lips My cold body shutters…as I feel your fingertips My tears of blood…as you stand above me Your hands around my neck…while I endure the agony Your heart pounding in my head…I feel my body break Controlling every part of me…my soul you take Trying to breathe my last breath…you’re killing me I just hold still…because soon I will be free -Claire --------------------------- -Trapped- I run into my room I tightly lock the door I scream but am not heard I hurt deep to the core I fall onto my bed And again I start to cry I wish to myself That finally I would die Thoughts and ideas Go racing through my head And I still remember Every lie that I’ve been fed I try to stand But I fall again Lying on the floor I am bleeding within I pray to myself That I will find the door Let it open let me out For I can take no more -Claire --------------------------- -Letting My Strength Shine- Your love for me became weaker than your greed You let your sickness overcome you This all hit me at such great speed I never pictured you as someone so untrue My soul-mate dreams have been slaughtered Now my future must be altered I never expected such evil from you I have no power to undo I made your heart my home The only place I could run to Now from your love I must roam From this, alone I must continue Everything happens for a reason This reason I will never understand Soon I will accept your treason And the castle we built will return to sand Forever I will remember you as great Your presence in my heart will always stand And will help me recreate my new fate And venture onto unknown land I will rely on those who catch me to save me While I hold on tightly to everything you gave me I won’t break this silence we’ve shared for so long. I will be strong. -Claire 2-10-2007 Let me know which one is your favorite! =) |
Memory Kills:
its very relatable. the mood fits the content humid eyes: you start out with one pattern and then switch- i think it makes it more cohesive if you stick to whatever pattern you decide on my lullaby: it sounds like something that was written with acidic tears- very emotional be free: hmmm hard to tell if this is supposed to be a self inflicted incedent or if its really physical (could be the point?) trapped the mood/ contentent doesnt fit the title- its not desperate enough letting my strength shine: again, the pattern isnt continuous and now for my crap: Untitled Sometimes it seems like I'm home And others like I'm alone I don't always wanna feel this way But it's the price I need to pay Let me lie here and sleep Times like this I just can't compete Let me lie here alone And decipher my sins to atone I'm here waiting for nothing And still expecting there to be something A vaporous tear runs down my cheek Like the silent words that I try to speak Soon someone will ask me to stay And then I'll go wander away break down The songs that come to my mind They all seem to apply But when the random song arrives That's when I can't survive I want to break down and cry Realizing it's not a lie End Brick by brick, the walls fall down All around my desperate town I want my slumber I want my sleep Give me a sanctuary In which to keep I'm pacing back and forth In the darkness, without a torch Playing machinery Playing god Never perfect More like sod I have wept, I have cried As my head gets slowly fried Nice and tender Nice and crisp All I know is Time's a wisp In my own little Babylon Somehow it goes on and on I want peace I need to jet But this is all I shall get Untitled theres a side that needs a break, a side that will be dissapointed. theres a side that needs to creat, a side that will be stifled. there is a side that wants to cry out, a side that will be hushed. |
That's not "crap" at all. I really like all of them!
And thank you so much for your ideas. I will consider them. =) Also, thank you for being my first reply... Lol. EDIT: I especially like "End." =) |
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