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-   -   New poem (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50047)

Innie 03-27-2007 10:22 PM

New poem
 
Or.. It will be new when I think of it.. Just give me a sec..

...

Alright. I'll give this a shot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mourn for your loss, cry to the skies.
Scream at me, and break through the lies.
I will stand firm, here and now.
I will never falter, I will never bow.

Show me the hatred you've hidden from view,
Behind those eyes, so misconstrued.
Point out my faults for all to see.
But, be warned, I will still be me..

I will never change from what you say.
I will folow my path, as you go astray.
So, as you try to rip me asunder,
Remember I did not make the blunder.

Sun 03-28-2007 05:14 PM

I really like it, i can relate to it too.

Innie 03-28-2007 07:41 PM

In had to re-read it a few times before even I knew what it was about.. I mostly focused on the rhymes..

Asham 03-29-2007 03:36 AM

Ah, I love all the strong and bold words you used! It definately relays the determination of the narrator! The only thing I have an issue with is the last verse, the last line.

Quote:

So, as you try to rip me asunder,
Remember I did not make the blunder.
The ending was very abrupt, and word 'blunder' had a really sharp edge to it. I'd have prefered a softer ending, but if that is what you intended, then so be it. I like it regardless. <3

Innie 03-29-2007 08:10 PM

Whoo! Sharp and DEADLY

Like a knife =P

Hehe <3

ekf501 04-05-2007 06:39 PM

Flows
 
I like the poem! The words flowed nicely together and its good considering you made it and then you had to read it over afew times yourself to figure out what it was about.

Rawrr__x 04-08-2007 02:42 AM

I really like it like O.o its good i think alot of teens can relate to this , it teaches you to stand firm and be true to yourself it kind of reminds me of amy lee <33333333333333333333333333333333333

Tesia 04-08-2007 07:28 PM

Interesting, I like it!

[[Fortune's]] //F o o l// 04-08-2007 07:29 PM

I liked it, very nice. I love the way you 'said things without saying them' as my teacher would put it. ^__^

DeniedUltraSex 04-09-2007 02:31 AM

So pretty!~

I'm not sure what to say.
It's perfect.
I love the rhyming.
It's so nice.
Even though I think it's suppose to be sad? O_o

[[Fortune's]] //F o o l// 04-09-2007 02:34 AM

Thank you very much. <3

Yes, sad, but it's okay to think it nice. xD


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