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-   -   Ever Love Me (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50486)

Dr Franken Stein 04-01-2007 01:02 AM

Ever Love Me
 
A little free vears poem I wrote.

Ever Love me
By Hiei14

My big brown eyes wheep,
but not for me.
My heart is bitter,
Torn from hate.

The deepest hole,
ever dug.
I've fallen in,
A pit of lies.

No ray of hope,
No golden sun.
Only blackness,
The night's revenge.

My light is gone,
No spark be found.
A broken heart,
Is all that's here.

He left the peaces,
On the floor.
Now all I do,
Is clean up the mess.

The broken heart,
I've held so long..
It cuts my palms,
forever on.

Now all I do,
Is clean up the peaces,
And ask myself,
Did he ever love me?

Xandra_Eiryklav 04-02-2007 12:53 PM

Strong emotions and well written prose. A spelling error here and there but I am not here to hardcore critique. I like it. I think you should try out some of the different forms of poetry. I know there are probably a few forms of poetry that are not commonly used but would work for you.


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