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zeroSenshi12
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#1
Old 04-16-2007, 10:12 PM

As with my other poem posted in this forum, I would love constructive criticism and comments. They are very much appreciated!

No capitalization or punctuation was used when this was written, so I didn't add it when I typed it. Were I to really publish this or enter it in a contest, I might add some. Occasionally I think that the lack of capitalization and punctuation adds to the idea that this piece is one thought. It depends on what day it is! OK, I'll stop rambling. Here goes~

Oh, and title suggestions are welcome!


Untitled

running
wind rushing past
ears hearing past the wind
graceful bounds
swift leaps
incarnate of free spirit
regally crowned
running gracefully
in the wrong direction
hurdling* into reality
faster than physically possible
destroying three lives
with one graceful bound
death on four legs


*hurdling/hurtling--I haven't decided yet. Ideas?

sushi_mew
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#2
Old 04-22-2007, 08:35 PM

I you'd be able to name this poem "Graceful Bounds" because it says it twice in the poem. Plus, I think the title matches the poem in a way.
I love this poem as the other one. It's really cute. I really do hope you continue posting and making new poems.

 


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