A Burning From Within



Like a Jack-o-lantern on Hallows Eve,
Hollow from the inside out.
You try to ignite the wick of the candle inside of me.
Let those flames burn.
Never has it been lit before,
My fire quickly dies.
You try again and again,
But each attempt at relighting that flame is a failure.
The harder you try the more I laugh.
Your attempts are meaningless.
But, the more you light it,
The longer is stays lit.
I look at myself,
The hollow me,
And I see that everlasting fire lit for the longest time.
But, your interest in me quickly fades,
Just like my fire did,
That every first time.

Unnamed


I sit back and find myself often wondering
What it would be like with you in my life.
Knowing you, but only from a distance.
My heart reaching out for you.
Wanting your love.
But, for all these centuries that I have watched you
From the shadows of this dark world,
I have never received your love back.
Should I give up on this fascination that I have with you.
This obsession that I have created.
It only devours me more and more.
Each time I look at you, the dark cloud of this passion
Grows ever so bigger, wanting to eat me alive.
The more I watch you, the more you turn you back to me.
Oh! How it hurts what soul I have left.
Why will this torment not go away!
Must I rip my blackened heart out and hand it to you.
Hand it to you on a plate made of the finest gold?
My passion will soon grow into anger
And my anger will be the end of me.
So, here I shall sit, and wait for you to notice me.
Like an old antique doll that has sat on your
Shelf for ever so many years.
I know you will never notice me,
But like an old doll,
I will love you for all eternity.

Unnamed


My heart aches to give you forgiveness.
But, I don't know I should be the one.
The caked blood on my face
Begins to be peel away.

I try to give forgiveness to those who ask for it.
The more I forgive, the more I hurt.
I suffer an eternal curse
That will never be lifted.
I grow cold the more I am with you.
I wish that this would all go away.

My heart aches for forgiveness.
Why wont you hear my plea.
I give my forgiveness to those I see.
Yet, I still don't get yours.
I am tired of being here.
I grow cold.

I wish this all would end soon.
So, I don't have to bother you any more.
Soon I will wither into nothing.
As I wither away,
I will keep forgiving you,
For all your mortal sins.
But, I will never be forgiven for the sins I have lifted.
I will wither into dust and be forgotten.

The more I fight the pain,
It hurts ten fold.
I cry for you to save me from my eternal curse.
You look at me as I cry
And turn your back to me.
Never willing to forgive me.
So, I ask.
If you wont forgive me,
Then to forget me.

Without you, I have no will to live.
There is no world without you.
You hold me together.
Without you, I am nothing.
I do not want to wake up and not have you there.
I will never be anything without you.
I am just this little girl,
Who is alone in this big world.

I need you no matter what.
Even if you do not need me,
I need you to keep on living.
If you hate me,
I will go on.
But, I am nothing without you.
Just an empty shell,
Who walks this world
Hoping that one day you will love me again.

Knowing that you are there,
Gives me the will and strength to live.
Without you, there is no point.
I need no waste my effort
When I have given you I could offer.
I don’t want to think of life without you,
But I fear that it is near.

I am scared that you no longer love me.
That you hate me and do not trust me.
I hate myself for everything I did.
But.. you can not hear me.
My voice is not strong enough to reach you.
I will love you, even if you do not love me anymore.
I will live, wondering how life would have been.
Could have been.
And how it should have been.

You are what lights my life.
My star that guides me when I am lost.
You are my eyes when I am blind.
Without you, I am nothing.

Remember me.

Remember the good and the bad,
Remember the happiness and sorrow,
If I were to leave this world,
Would you remember me?

What would you remember?
Would you remember the happy times
That you and I shared?
Or would you remember the bad?

Would you dwell on things that were unsolved?
Or would you forget they even happened?

Would you forgive me for all the wrong I have done?
Or would you dwell on it forever?

Is it worth me to make an impression on our life?
Or will you just forget me when I am gone?
Have I done to little to make you forget me?

Am I worthy enough to remember?
I fear that I will become nothing more
Than this lingering shadow in the back of your mind.
That I will be forgotten in minutes after I am gone.

Even though my love so great,
Am I destined to be forgotten by you?
Do your best to remember me.
Remember the good and the bad.
Remember the happiness and the sorrow.
Remember the love that you and I shared.


I will love you in this life and the next.

That's all I have right now. ^^;