I was wondering if anyone could find something that doesn't flow right. I pretty much like this as is but I sometimes have lines that don't mesh well.

How can I be afraid to ask,
if these feelings are my task?
For I am king of stoic's pride,
more perilous than evening tide.

Love is just a women's trifle,
something that they find delightful.
But my heart does not seem to see,
that this emotion is not for me.

Though it may pump blood through my veins,
it has yet to cause but disdain.
It does seem to think I can't deal,
with this emotion I hate to feel.

Betrothed we have been for many years,
though not confirmed but by tears.
My blood seems curdled and to plee,
that this emotion is not for me.

I think the line that is repeated, "That this emotion is not for me" needs one more word. Perhaps "That this emotion is not made for me"?

And the line "Though it may pump blood through my veins" has too many syllables in my opinion, although I can't think of anything to replace it.. ^^" Other than that, it's an awesome poem and it flows well. =^-^=
~Willow

I will definitely put the made into the poem. I think that sounds much better...

As for the other problem, I think I'll sit on it and try and work something that is more romantic sounding or rather less wordy. I agree with it being too much. Though I wrote the poem in the perspective of a very stoic/ dull character who would be more prone to dragging like that.

Edit: Oh and Willow I forgot but..the line is actually too long already so I think I won't add made. o-o;

It is defiantly from a hard hearted character xD but it's lovely! A few English/wording edit suggestions would be - On the line "more perilous than evening tide." I'd make it evenings tide, to match with stoics' pride (also... the ' should be after the s... I think... it's not a contraction, it's a possessive)

Next line after that "Love is just a women's trifle," change to womans, and "something that they find delightful." the 'that' to 'which' "something which they". And the last line of that one delete the 'that' but to keep the line length add "is just not for me".

Last stanza "though not confirmed but by tears." "though confirmed by not but tears"... 'plea' instead of 'plee' and all of Willow's suggestions! ^.^

It's got a very pretty style to it, you should post that more romantic one when you come up with it *nod nod*

I don't know about the stoic's/stoics' thing, I'll make my mom check it out though, since my mother is an English teacher. Though I'll disowned if she find too many errors. I think your right.

Wow...thanks Lania! About the the women's or woman's thing, I'm keeping it as it is. I meant for women in general, though now that you mention it I'll have to ask my mom about that too.

Edit: My mommy says I'm right for both. ><; I suppose the matter of determining what I meant makes it confusing, no? Sowwie.

I'll fix plea right away though, that is a typo. I usually have a number of those. Oh and I'll try to right something romatic, or find one that I've written.