
03-03-2008, 06:17 AM
to be quite honest, I have to agree, it's not the best. it's banal and cliche, and if you plan on rehashing the "roses are red/violets are blue" at least keep with the consistent four syllable per line pattern. poetry is about more than just rhyming, it's about creating something that's got feeling and depth to it, about creating patterns. what you've written feels thrown together with little effort, a scribble of words to the painting polished poetry can be.
I'm not trying to be mean or insulting, I'm just telling the truth here. if you keep working you can create something much better. you just have to put effort into improving.
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