Drabble: 33, 74
Characters: Jean Maglaya, Noah Mathews
Fandom: own story-untitled
Rating: PG
Summary about fandom: This is based on a story I am going to write. Drabbles help me with character development. Jean and Noah met each other in high school. They dated their sophomore year but broke up soon after. Years go by, and they are now in college. Feelings never left, but how can a relationship work out considering the circumstances?
Word Count: 1,157
I Know
He hadn’t said a word to her yet, but then again, she told him multiple times in her letters that he didn’t have to. Anxiety was racing through her veins in anticipation.
Why wasn’t he talking to her?
Why didn’t he say anything?
Why wasn’t he talking to her?!
The strain she felt at her finger tips was overwhelming, but she kept her crazy girl, happy front like an award winning actress. She would not lose her temper in frustration, and she would not push him into a corner. It would not be like last time. She would be mature and keep a smile on for she refused to be the spoiled, selfish, immature brat who broke his heart before.
Still, why wasn’t he talking to her?
It could be a good sign. After all, she, herself, tended to shyly avoid men she took interest in, but before she said she would win him over “subtly” and before she gave him that stupid book, things had been back to the way everything was before the whole dating fiasco. They argued and flirted like long times lovers but disgustingly refused the status when confronter.
She couldn’t blame him for rejecting her again, though. It had been nearly four years since they had dated. Four years was a long time, and the changes she had undergone were many. She was slightly less bubbly and slightly less attractive. The skeletons in her closest had piled up. She wasn’t as innocent as she used to be.
She did, however, honestly believe she had grown to be a better person. If he gave her another chance, she would not hide her feelings from him. She would talk things through with him, and she would be dedicated to him pass the day he did not want her anymore. If only she could show him that.
She sighed before turning over on the cement to face the night sky. Love was a risk, but god did she feel like an idiot. Maybe she could take a short nap there for awhile, sleep away the anxiety. Maybe everyone would be gone by the time she woke up…
“Hello, Filipino one.”
Great. So much for sleeping away the anxiety.
“Hello, Mr. West Point.”
The object of her affection came to stand directly in front of her, but she faked indifference and continued to stare past him.
“What the hell are you doing?” He asked with that confident yet almost condescending tone of his.
“Staring at the stars.” She replied not missing a beat.
“Why?”
“Because you can’t see the stars in Bakersfield, and I miss them.”
“You’re so weird.”
She chuckled then before saying, “Thanks for the compliment.”
She heard a rustling noise before realizing that he had lain beside her. Silence swept over them, and she was amazed at how comfortable she felt. Besides being the love-of-her-life, this man had also been one of her closest friends since their freshmen year of high school. She was beginning to feel even more idiotic. She was about to ruin an already damaged friendship.
Stupid book. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
“You know, that book is really ironic. It isn’t subtle at all.” She heard him say.
“Shush, Noah. The book wasn’t supposed to be subtle. The way I dealt with my feelings was supposed to be subtle.”
“How is it subtle?”
“I won’t lose my temper, and I won’t cry. And no one really knows about the book. You won’t be the bad guy if you don’t want me.” She still did not look at him. She couldn’t. Looking at him meant crying, and crying meant making him feel bad for her.
“Jean, you’re crazy.”
“We established that a long time ago, Mathews.” Again, she didn’t miss a beat.
“It’s attractive, though.”
She turned to him curiously then with squinted eyes and a slightly ajar mouth, but he was gazing at the night sky just as she had before. Silence sat between them again as Jean slowly pulled her eyes away from Noah and turned her attention back to the sky.
“How do you know you love me?” Noah suddenly asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do know. You have at least twenty-five reasons. I have proof.”
Jean’s brows scrunched up, and she growled. “Then why are you asking if you already know?”
“Just to hear it from you.”
Jean growled again. “Are you playing with me, Mathews?”
“I think it would be rude if I was.” Noah replied.
Jean didn’t really have to think about it. She had months to sort out her feelings. She loved him for moments like the one they were sharing now. Her heart was racing, and her fingers were numb. Noah's arrogance made her want to scream, yet even though her body was in chaos, warmth smoothly scourged within her, and she secretly carried a smile that reached her eyes.
“I know because you make me so angry so much, and I swear I just want to hit you or something, bu-“
“You know you love me because you like abusing me?”
“But! I still genuinely care for you, and I think it’s the most amazing thing in the world when your guard’s let down the moment you smile.”
She could hear the grin in Noah’s voice as he said, “You’re still such a hopeless romantic.”
“You asked, so shush!” Jean turned to glare at him, but she was met with sparkling hazel eyes and a giddy, sheepish smile.
“Logically, we wouldn’t work out, you know.” Noah said.
That was a stab to the chest.
“I know.” Was all Jean could say.
“I mostly live in New York, and you’re in Bakersfield.”
“I know.”
“We’d only be able to see each other every six months or so.”
“I know…”
“And we’d barely be able to talk to each other because of West Point regulations.”
Jean frantically shook her head. “I know, Noah. Forget it. It was stupid.”
“Fuck it.”
Jean froze, and her eyes widened a fraction of a second. “W-what?” She had to ask. A comforting hand covered her and held her tight. She held Noah’s gaze as he sat up and beckoned her to sit up with him.
“Are you deaf or something? I said ‘Fuck it.” He held a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and as soon as Jean processed his words, she launched herself into his arms and buried her head in his chest. He drew comforting circles on her back as she sobbed with happiness. Jean hadn’t felt so safe and complete for so long. It was overwhelming and surreal.
“Crazy woman…” Noah whispered affectionately into her ear.
Carefully, Jean raised her head to look at him and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
“But you like crazy.”
Noah's gaze softened before he gently brushed his lips adoringly to Jean’s forehead.
“Yea,” And there was that amazing smile of his. “I guess I do.”