random

how can you
the tears
the squirt
it hurts
but such is said
the failing things
they hurt
I don't melt
I am no which
how irony that is
and as such
you hit me
I wanted to slaughter you
you stupid people
the are annoying
very very annoying
and
go away
I will slam you in a wall
for you are to not
harm
Altais
my love of my life
and for him
I will kill

random

can it be this bad
this place
this place I love
this annoyance
why does it hurt
when you are so close to him
and yet
why must you leave
I know I ignore you
but still
can I be near you
so can I do something
to be next to you
for all of time?

random

all is left
but the beauty
the beauty that can ensue
can you see me
me in my dead dress
but still pretty
laced in white
and silver
gleaming
I would love to
it would be great
and as such
what i say is a lie
but an amazing lie
hiding my true love
to be dressed up
to stand by you
or anyone
dressed
in full
in full dresses
and in corset
bowing to you
in my life
eternal bond

random

this happiness
is as amusing as can be
the light is out
the shining star
but it is amazing
that the clear sky
the stuff done
but then
can we stay
the clear
the peace
the bluish
white sky
and as such
I run
to the peace
for all of time
so then
can we end it all
and jsut stay
in happiness

re-look

it seems that I have fallen victim to another good relationship. It is helpful to drabble, but I also then spend less time online. At some point soon I will update the first page and such soon. I probably have 50-25 still to do, but I can guarantee I can do them sometime. But I am not sure when I am going to go through all the drabbles.

As such, I will be doing more random, but then set up a link system to all the actual post topic pages when they are done.

random

chew toy

i never expected to have one
to have someone who liked it to
I like it all
the small pain
times the number
all together
in different places
different intensities
i understand you wanting to sleep
and for that
we require little effort
but calm me
please do
let me latch to you
understand
I am odd
like you
different
but understanding
i am not all that scared of you
I trust you
and as such
please
hold me still
control my inner dog
the one
who loves you
only as
a chew toy

random

love
love is the chocolate
the chocolate eaten
chocolate drank
it is amazing
how it can get rid of anything
and anything else
no need
stronger than alchol
it is amazing
the aphrodisiac
please
and with that
we can be
dead
idea to everyone
as the smile is staying on my face
for all of time

random

fear
fear drive to drink
and in drinking
i want to lose it all
to no longer be here
or anywhere else
so can i just
get rid of him
cause he is an issue
and at that
a fear
for all the time

14. faults

it is mine
and truly mine
i wished I had not done that
knowing what it did to you
I am random
i go on a whim to you
and something of the sort
but you see
it is worse
i keep track of movements
but after the first
I did not expect the others
it was weird
think twice
not once
it hurt
especially at the yelling
I understand why
why it isn't that
and that yes I was slapped
in words
by you
it is fine
you see
it was necessary for us to have that
you are never to blame
well not really
I don't idolize you
but you do need to keep me where you want me
keep me from moving
beyond your control
this is what happens
I know i seem happy
and all
but still
it is weird
just now
moving on
wishing that i wasn't to blame
the best i can do
is apologize
it is said
and as such
they are nice
but see
keep me from you at times
keep me tied
for I do what i can
and my immaturity can show
if it is allowed
so let me curl
and tie myself
to the post
and wait for you
to extend your kindness
once again

2. flowers

they are over rated
nothing i must admit
it isn't that roses are pretty
or anyhting else
but the syymbolism is insane
it gives off screaming i love you
those hateful words
that i want to use
that nothing is left
I love somethin different
something
do I dare say
white and pink
opposite of me
that is what this pure form is
the proof
these flowers
that sit at my desk
they greet me
a opposite of me
is all it is
so then
I am in love
the waft
of these
stargate lilies

I have finally updated my list!! I also reread my list and I defiantly have some done, but I don't want to re search them, so I probably wont.

it is then that i realize, it is only when I am drastically in love that I can write to the list. I will renew it when I finish, but that seems like far far away when I realize it was only thirty soemthing total drabbles listed :(

I am going to try and write more on topic because I would like to start a different list sometime.

As for "the series" It is insane and I think is almost worth re reading all of my drabbles sometime for it, but as such, I will wait till a bit longer before publishing or reading any of it, maybe while I am waiting at home of something. Though like a diary, is it something to be read, or just locked to never be found and reread again?

random

can i be more bored
I want to eat lunch with you
hang out
but no
I have work
you see
if you are truly burnt out
I don't blame you
but you must admit
it is all from doing everything
it is how I run
and in general
it will kill anyone
not ready for it
and as such
be wary
for you see
it is my life
that drains everyone else
dry

Reread your drabbles. It's totally worth it--wonderfully amusing and eerily revealing. ...speaking of rereading drabbles, I haven't really reread mine in awhile. Hmm...

yeah, rereading weird, especially because the series which is a spin off from valentine's day and two weeks after that, and I haven to a clue what is going on and when i look at it now I was just confused and weird.

I wonder how many pages I have left to print on computers, half temped to print out drabbles for no reason. Maybe to read in person is better theory.

I want to be there with you
curled up into a ball
with you next to me
I want to
so that I can be there
touching you
like always
it is fine if you don't need it
but understand
half the time i am fine with just the touch
I know I am odd
but I am
like you
can I watch it with you
it isn't the same
going through
not knowing what is what
not knowing weather I will finish it or not
but I want to try
i want to watch it all
but I am tired at times
it is time to nap
and to never wake up
so don't get yourself hurt
and be there
to hold me later
once again

51. crying

what is happening
is my mind
the small thing
that does everything
it doubts
it doubts us
for a while
do you really mind me here
do you want me gone
do they care
do they even want me there too?
it hurts you see
these tears
to know
I am plunging into a hole
and with a call
i could clear all doubts
but you see
i feel i am a burden
and for that
stay strong
but internally
and in my room
cry
when I have no reassurance
of anything

random

the first kiss

i know it was there
i did not expect it, the fact it happened
it is a slight ploy
and it is to save her
he is doing well
but first kiss
are you sure? do yo intend to go that far
so how far is too far?
and how far do you realize your in love?
or are you in love with another
like you hint
at me
but yes
it was adorable
and in the back of my brain
I knew
it was his choice
i got them there
but it is them
but then again
what is me
or what is them?

random

five feet away

there you are sitting
i wonder how you are
yet i ignore you
yet I seem to be to
we stand here
almost always together
together is nice
but we distance ourselves in our life
the space
these simple feet
it is how we live
that is why i can go out
out with you
it is a nice chat
a nice conversation
then i ignore you again
you are there
there isn't the awkward individual
but yet
there is it all in one
the simple but safe
you are there
watching out for me
if i fell
just as I am to you
so that is how it goes
is this how it will stay
or is it something more?
for you see
this is where we seem to like it
or so we tell each other
and as such
it seems
that in the end
will we still be here
after all
or will we drift
just because?

57. finding gifts

I have never not had the probnlem
it always was very very hard
for you see
it is annoying
every time I am out
looking ofr gifts
it takes hours
days
thinking what one wants
you are easily amused though
very very much so
so you simply say
the stars
and i give you the heavens
it isn't hard
my creativity
finally allowed to expand
I have no doubts
no worries
of what you want
and turtles
the yummy food they are
so it seems
so next thing you know
I gave you the sea
the chocolate
yet etible
that is what I want
for yet all of it
for once
i worry not what to get you
what you don't own
but instead give you fun
and not something useful
we are playful
and at that
able
to finally find something fun
for us all

13. teaching

you are truly a good teacher
I know it is scary to think that
but you are
you are a true case of one
do you see
I understand what you are doing
there are tiems i move differently
think differently
but I stand there
holding you
we see this continue
but it is silly
for I like
not being hte student
but learning
teach what we can
to each other
use what we can
from each other
and as such
we should live some time
hold each other close
and I wonder
yet you keep me from it
what will happen later
for I doom all around me
as do you
so are both doomed
or will one be worse?

yo are a teacher
and one to keep my mentality
to what it is suppose to be
so keep me with you
and hold me
and keep me from straying
by holding a small chain
so that
if I end up falling
you will know
and i hope
you
as the teacher
will come
to pick me up

random

the water

the water pours
all over
it touches
the skin
pulls it clean
it is hard you see
for it continues and I move slightly
and we die
I can simply see it all
and forever see you
that is the problem
I am not all that tall
but yes
it is the case
i want to play with you
for I will never again get to try that
and as such
we did try
i watched the coin flip
then realized although fine
I might regret this
and it hurts for the water
it burns the eyes
but we still tried
for it was different
and I felt all the water
hold me down
and watched
as we collapsed
behind the wall
we saw
the water
hot as it was
clean us to purity
of the tainted
once again

22. the name

it dawn on me until he mentioned it. i call you by your first name. It never seemed to be an issue in my mind. I talk to you, i say things. but then I do remember, they say it each sporadically. It is only on occasion that I seem to understand. They all refer to you by your last name. And for that, i am confused. What should i call you? by what i have lived by, or by everyone else. do you mind? do you ever have a preference. It was picked up, not sure when. not sure how, but everyone calls you that. it is only the younger ones, who don't. It was odd, I didn't catch it till now, I just assumed it was the case. everyone distinguished you different, and as such, they said it each in group together, so not to refer about the other. But then you did say it has been going on for a long time. And then i wonder, is there a reason why I call you that? Is there some significance. It would be odd to refer to you that way in my mind, though i can easily adapt. but lets just say, it is what i call you, standing next to you. That I understand, you are there, both in your glory and not. You have a name, and that name, is what I prefer to call you by, and now, I have no reason to call you a nickname, for your real first name, is more than enough of that to the rest of the world, over me.

16. in the closet

I watch
as the world around me
I want to be there
the anti-social person I can be
I am tired of it all
and so
I close it all off
close the first door
of saying hi
close off
being with my "friends"
close off talking to yours
close off and finally bend to being there
and close off a bit
from the one I trust the most
then slowly
i start to understand it
As I explain
it hurts
every little bit
I am not in a box enough
so i close some more doors
drowning in my own anti-social feeling
it is hard
for you see
when I close off from you
I know I shouldn't
the final wall
I want it to be glass
you are not sure what to do
and you are not sure where the door is
to pry me out of there
for it matters not to me
not anymore
the resentment
the guilt
the feelings
that I am useless
that I am
but a burden
so as such
you keep me from it
as much as you can
your words
they can't penetrate the glass
but in the end
when the doors open up again
it is sitting there
like a package
waiting for me to comprehend
to believe it
and believe your words
so that
when you watch
as i try to disappear
that you hold me there
and tell it is is not ok to do so
and that
through it all
you want me here

82. sleep

There you lay
simply on my bed
taking a nap
just as I do
it is beauty
even with your sunburned face
it is amazing
for you a gentle in your sleep
it is nice
the sleeping giant lie
like hte sleeping dragon lie
you are
at the very least
hopefully in peace
and at that
I give you the best of dreams
hoping to keep them all away
as I watch over you
and let you sleep
in the amazing dream world
that you can create
sleep well my love
for today
is your birthday
and I wish you the best
most relaxed day
possible
even in your dreams

59. I'm taken

do you understand
that you being here
it has nothing to do with anything
when I saw you last
I semi was
but you see now
if you are here
just for that
you will be disappointed
i am taken
by the one I love
by the one
who actually listens to me
not you
who screws whatever
who is willing
to just have it
cause you can
i know
you are needy
I can be there for parts of that
but understand
i am taken
so I will not kiss you
end of story
so i will run away a bit now
till i tell you
that I am taken.