random

stress
i watch it build up
the chaos around me
the inability to move
to the day of
it bothers me
once I am there
I will take on that form
but you see
it is all set in stone
I don't want to miss something
for the issues of the world
it is something
that even at times
Iwatch
and see it fall to pieces
it is there
that I understnad
I need the oder
to make the chaos
but it hurts
for when all say chaos
but I need the order
nothing seems to work
for me
to organize
my life

random

sleeping

it is that I am tired
i don'twant to be
but I am
I drop like a coin
never wanting to be picked up again
and i just lay there
still
motionless
as I fall asleep
it is something good
but bad
for I start to sleep
and want to sleep more
but lose the ability
to control
the drifting
away

random

I don't want to leave
the late nights
I don't want to disappear
i would love to talk to you
for 5 days
knowing it is ok
knowing it is fine
but I must sleep
and I feel bad
for it is why I wish I cold
control my sleep more...

random

why is it that i rush
why is it that i try so hard, i really shouldn't
it hurts to see me
breaking myself
breaking everyone
cause of my own push
to push myself
slowly
over the edge
but what happens
if I die?
that isn't what I want at all
so why do I do it?

random

what happen to the summer
when it all disappeared
for work
i love the work
but it doens't drag
it lives
but everyday is something
but everyday also means i have no time
to do anything
it is what i worry about
for you see
I won't know what to do
when it is all over
for I can not explain it
but part of me
wishes I could do the hobbies
but also understands
that I am going home
to a more relaxing time

random

the dice
100 points
it is how I can roll it
but it is a ball
and proof that everything is random
and maybe no one should do anything
ever again
but that is how it is...
but maybe my life
is jsut that ball
or maybe it is weighted
like it is not suppose to be...

random

sometimes i wish I could fly
but more
I wish
I could stop the time
and fly
for if I could
without sleep
I would do everything to make myself busy
and speed up the wait
so I could get hobbiees done
and self satisfy myself...

random

could i leave
and party
but spend the time
less stressed
for it would be great
I could exist
and wake up late
and have more fun
when I could
then later
but it is easy
jsut live
and live doing what I want to.

random

could I walk away, and never come back
or am I never going to walk
for I see myself
unable to do anything
and wanting to never remorse
and have no emotions toward anything
but that is how I am
and that is why I worry
but then again
it is all there
in there
holding it still.

random

it hurts
to watch
my social life come back
i can't control it
and maybe that is the issue
for I am running away
from everyone
and maybe that is why I see this all more stressful
for I run away
and don't want to admit it.

I wish sometimes
I had something to love
but it is these last days
I could struggle about alone
and maybe I should
but maybe that is bad
we don't know
but the time
the part we love
it is all htere
but it is true
we will see each other again
so we are off
and won't come back
and see people
to see what it is like
once again
to not call.

random

why is it
I am toren
from reality
why is it
that I won't wake up
from it all
and that is maybe why
in the end
I am doing nothing
but wishing i could be up forever.

random

may I wake up someplace else
may I live
someplace else
and never look back?
for it would be amazing
to turn around
and watch
as I wake up
and am done with school
and done iwth home
and living
with everyone
and understanding
everything
for the rest of time

may I wake up
from this nightmare
to never live agian
i thought I would see him
now
later
I am not sure
but I wish I could
for it is now
I must retrieve
what I want from it all
and live
to see another day..

random

it is all jsut there
and maybe I can wake up
and drop all defenses
as they grew
i feel them
when I write
about them
but I need someone to give me a reason
to see it all
again
for it is how it is
and because of it
I refuse
to ever open up
until late
but I am will wake up
and see it all again
one day.

random

maybe it is just me
but I should probably understand
I can't get ti all
that no matter what
it is all just not going to happen
now
or ever

random
it is always the stars
with mje
and with you
I don't know what to do
but it is silly
for you see
I will burn out
and have no idea what to do
later
when it is all over
for it is amusing
but I will one day
die from the lack
of the creativity
and with that
I will run away..

random

I stare off
what will my life be like
in 5 days
a month
ay ear
is it all jsut going ot be the same
or am I going to different
will I be together
or not
I hope so now
but thre are thigns
that can cause it
so please
I wish
to know

random

may i go forward in time
and see
what is truely going to be
for I wish to know
who will I be with
in the end
and who is it not worth it
to be around
but travel
through time
messes it up
anyway

random

if I could stop the sneezing
would I stop the talking of me
that is so evident
but maybe that is a good thing
or maybe it is just me
the paranoid one
who could care less otherwise
but is living
in the depths of her mind
as only a child

random

may i jump in
and on
it all
for it seems
that this time
i will be odd
but amazing
for in the end
can i do anything
for it is odd
but I would love
to just exist
again
living in a world
where i am loved
instead of just being here

random

can I sit here
and miss my life
till I get my goal
but it is hard
to live here
and get my goal
it can happen
but in the end
would I be satisfied...?

random

is it even possible
to exist
and to get my goal
I don't have time
12
times 4
it is hard
that is alot
one a minute
that isn't incredible hard
but annoying.

random

I hope I make it
i watch myself race
like I only can
but is it possible
I remmber
one event
seeing it all the time
but maybe that is why
I should be satisfied
but then again
i was always on
always watching
as time few by

random

I watch the race
one two
buclke shoe
three four
close the door
watching as it all races past me
can I keep up
or am I failing
in the end?