ohh reply 200 make mental note

random

nodding off, I am tired, very very tired. I need sleep, maybe go home, skip lunch ,and sleep. it would make sense, lots of it. also does mail not work for theres or is that just me. I could find out on facebook ,but facebook not as great as mene, so it is boring.

random

what if
what if the world ended tomorrow

if nothing happened
and the world was white
like a canvas
turned and painted over
so that I can be used again
what if the world shatters
and all that will be left
is you and me

random

the peace is nice
but boring
I would rather sleep
or be at my room
I am waiting
waiting for the death
death of my roommate
so me can talk

random

to sleep
the sleep i need
the sleep I want
it is that which it is
i want it badly
so i will take it
now
more than ever

random

am i really that scary
do you find me so?
I figure yes i give the aura
the light
but it seems silly
for it seems silly
for what you broke was important
you moved out for good reason
you did what I asked you to not
so it is a problem
but I am resonalbe
I end quite quickly
you need ot understnad
that I am that way
that even without everything
It is silly
and fun
i am not that great of a dective
you gave me the chance to be
for it is silly
Even at certain times
I am angry
and we left
glad you did
knew you would
it made sense
but yes scary
you don't want my bad side
but my bad side is short
for it normally knows reason
and stays away
few are on that side
and so that is the case
so why are people scared of that side
for it is small
and rare to be in there
so then
why are people scared of me?

random

love is a preview until you actually do
that is the case of high school
it is true
there is always a chance to consider life as a preview but then
what is of life
is life merely a preview or is it of any importance
so then is life a preview
like the life previews before
or is the past a preview
to the future
does no one take the initiative to consider it something they have done
or is it only a preview
it is true
it is a way of thought
but what happens
when all preview
the afterlife
eternally
is it still a preview?

random

the space
the space is insane
the ability to move
the wanting to
the clash
the piece
the training it causes
the agony
as it burns through his bones
like fire
as his continues doing moves
straining himself
so it is then
that is dawns on us
that I should stop
stop hurting self
and to stop having weird parts
of everything hurt
so I stop injuring self
and my love
the sharp love
that pieces everything

random

what is it like
when one is only affection it
it is like
watching as they pull
each day
each night
wanting to be there
likes anyone
does not discriminate
that is scary
when one is committed
by now i am not
and pursuing is inevitable
I like them
not sure why
but they were awesome
one praised me
for the love
and i loved them dearly
not sure what to call it
interested
watching as another
played guitar
and watching
made me watch to play cello
though the two don't belong together
they could, right?
hopeful
but it is such
that I love them both
am I feeling
interested?
or just
affectionate
indiscriminately.

random

this feeling part 1

This feeling
am I just affectionate
but a closet one
or is it
that I was just angry that one time
it was odd
I want to be alone
but not really
it is odd
this feeling
it is suppose to bring it all out
but instead of being happy
am i just overly affectionate
and chose to hide it
and show no sign
I am not red
I held my color
held my head
which is an improvement
i wish I knew
knew your name
but it is a sigh
that i can't talk everything to you
it would be nice
to have fun
and once again have no issues
you will be president
with me by your side
for a year
if i can
but it is sad
I want you closer
than for a year
but is that a feeling now
or will it last
for a feel this way about you now
and last time
it was again and I enjoyed it more
for the rest of my time
i miss him person now
but respect everyone

random

this feeling part 2

don't you understand, I am like this, this is how I have been
you don't want to be here
you try to be the nice guy
but I am loving anyone
anything
I was furious when I saw another affection
but it was fine
i directed mine else where
and didn't care
we didn't worry
and they had good stuff too
so it was fun
and yes I think
slowly
I think a lot
and it is noticeable
but when he can't walk
i wanted to help
i am already affectionate
but can i be more
can I be drunk all the time
to being with him
to be more than friends
i doubt that
so it is then
i want no one to notice
so I hide
and I will regret part of the thoughts later
but it is odd
I want to be there with you
and see you with me
at times
so when I see you next
I will want to be with you
like I was then
and I hope you remember
my name

random

this feeling
I love them all
I want it all
i need it all
you are so pretty
but I know better
I know better
that is what i have to tell myself
to keep myself from hugging you
from being fully affectionate
from wanting to party with you
I wonder
what type are you
I am affectionate
and it would be worse
with you around
you can give me the attention
if you want to
I could make the move to
if I was drunk enough
So please
when we party
watch me drink
and be by my side
so then no problem
I will be there
to hook up with you
and hopefully you don't mind
when all of a sudden
I become affectionate
around you

random

if I could draw like you
I would
but it is pretty
if w could mesh styles
it is great
for you seem to see the detail
can do necks
and for some reason
I envy you
do you envy me
i strive to be like you
but not the same style
if only I could manga it all
to draw like you
then I would feel better
you get the praise
I don't
so now
where does that leave me
talentless
i can make stuff
but drawing
is you

32. ignorance

Are you that ignorant
to not understand
that you shouldn't be talking to me
that you don't understand
that you ignore me at all times
and think I am still pure
That is a child mentality
are you ignorant
of all that I have done
of all these years
or just stupid
even when I tell you my mental state
you chose to bring up something important
I could care less about you in this state
and I will lash at you
I can't type
so stop trying to make me
and stop being ignorant
weather that takes tainting
with all that entails
and doing it yourself
or finding someone who will actually do what you request
or if that takes moving
moving away
or if that takes not talking to me
then do so
but I dislike most
the ignorance that you seem to have
that I once had

random

I don't want to
I don't want to do this book
I don't want to
but it stares at me
and bugs me
it must be done
but I want to just sit
and be here
in this portal
earning gold
not having an outside life
so why is it
that you sit there
must getting done by tonight
and another
but i want to do neither
so why?
go away
or will you only when I am done
I have no determination
so then
can we go
go together
so I can be done
and come back
to the happy world
that i am in?

32. ignorance part 2

I am ignorant
or I was
I walked in
and tainted self
through the time
and why
then can't others
when I tell people
they think I am out
do people like being ignorant
or are they not understanding
it was a necessary development to continue living
so then
why stop staring at me
just let me continue walking
and let me be here
so I can continue walking
not with eyes staring
but living on my own

random

why did you gain an account
I saw it
there are things here
that I don't want you to see
i don't want you to do anything here
but to be here
and be fun online
but it is hard
for since you are here
I can't talk about you
so now what
I like her
she and I
even if it was about me
would keep it all a secret
so it doesn't matter
but in the end
can you not look
not look at all this
all this
feelings

random

petty word

temptation
what is it
is it a petty word
it is an oddity
for it is something
unless experienced
can't be used
it is just a word then
but to describe it
without the choice
without it having an existence
without the bubble being broke
then it is as said
just a word
the temptation was grabbed
we all had fun
every time I am there
so what happens when I resist
or am i now
by staying here
and not going out
I do not know
but it is funny
for we all understand
breaking the bubble is important
then for those who live in a bubble they use to be in
where do they live now?
a new bubble
or a different community
or on their own
for nothing
it is that temptation
to go back to what is comfortable
that the temptation never existed
it is such a petty word
to those who don't stretch themselves

random

this lack of ability
I blame it all
on myself
this lack of caring
i blame on myself
this feeling
I blame everywhere
but is it just
that i want to not be alone

32. ignorance part 2

to those who are not
define a base
it is a definition we all find odd
third is the hardest
for did I hit third
or not
did stuff go flying
or not
it was nice
he chose it
I could care less
but where is it drawn
to the ignorant
this seems odd
it is code
all of it
just like a child
the ignorant part
shows up
I didn't understand at the time
now I do
it makes me wonder
how come I watched this
but I never knew
for me
it was simply
a ounce of time
that was funny
never understood the implications
while ignorant

random

what to do
it was a mistake to mention it
should we run
or do anything
if we are found
what to do
but if she wants
then can we run
I want to be mod
so I could hide again
so that it could exit there
so I could run
suggestion?
for it is sad
I may no longer be on
like I was
in deviant
where there is a void
and i void
of all emotions
for sake of no one finding

random

altered perspective

what is going to happen will
will there be a different outlook
we mentioned
that was a mistake
but now
what happens
if it is all read
if the pages and pages are read
if the understanding
that this is a quiet place
where I poor soul
the shattered mirror it is
like a journal
but worse
so then
what to do
when it is broken
and someone pieces it all together
will they still see me
or a different version of me

random

it is here
that I understand
that everything exists yet nothing
watching one discover the feeling is amazing
to watch as it all happens
as she is truly like me
like we all understand
and that everything is good
but we are similar
but not really
we are similar enough to get along
for me to not have issues with her
I hope that never changes
we may argue sometime in the future
but not currently
so can i run
and have fun
I am myself
not treating anyone lower
that is the point
but do you think it is just you
or do you understand
it is everyone
that I do this too
you might not like it
but I do make people understand and think

random

this affection
it doesn't help that people I love
are all single suddenly
that I am where I am
without a barrier anymore
I push the tide out
it comes back
stronger than before
wanting ot push
wanting me to touch it all
I want to be there
to be happy
jsut sittign with him
I want him
but it is insanity
you and him
is it that I see you in others
or that you remind me of myself
I knew it is bad if it is the same type
but now that I know
that you would prefer me starting
I feel a bomb in my hand
with a lighter in the other
I can do with it what I want
not sure what to do
do you want me to light it?
or want me to hold onto it?
for I am willing
to do as you say
just tell me
and either way
I will do as it happens
prove to me one way or another please
even a slight hint
and i will know

random

what happens
when I fall
will I get over it
or deal with the issues
I, in my own calm self
want to die
but it seems
to be special
to have ulterior motives
my fallen guardian
weeping
to the dance above
that she is not it

random

If I could turn back time
if I could find a way
to keep you
to know you
if I could break the day
then I would understand
what you wanted
what one needed
it was then to see
that each day
that everyone could keep you
it is then to see
if I knew that day
what you wanted
than I would keep my muse
and watch you too
and understand it all
when I come back to reality
then i would hug you
all the time