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I have learned....
From Dynasty Warriors// Samurai Warriors/Orochi Warriors One man kills 300 men daily.... and this is on a slow day. Everybody Dies Eventually, and usually in the same exact way. Love is a stern look. And Touching is almost Forbidden. Everyone is sexy, no matter how ugly they are in the description. No means Yes. When an angry Japanese man yells at you it means you are doing a good job. If you wield a claw, you will get gayer as time goes on. Halo 3: Bombs are better in bulk I still don't get how the sticky grenades don't stick to my hand.... When all else fails.... Bring a warthog and wing it. When That Fails, bring a blind man with a rocket launcher. When THAT Fails, bring the ghost Blood is a rainbow Okami: Circles are happyness Trees are made out of ink This game is awesome The Sims: You CANNOT have sex with the butler.... No matter how much you want it The stripper in the cage wears clothing, and you have just paid 5 thousand dollars for a wet kiss from a 30 year old woman. All waste comes out in liquid form, with the exact same tint as water. Money comes out of the phone.... If expensive tables surround you and the fireplace, chances are you would rather scream at the fire, than run from it.... oh and by the way.... god wants you dead. Guitar Hero (all versions) The Crowd will clap just to see you get off beat. Big Foot knows how to play the Bass Guitar All of your crowd was once in the military. No matter how much you fail... The Crowd Loves you. Lars is a man. Mario Kart Wii: Nothing pisses you off more than a drive-by with a turtle shell. If you think you are winning, chances are you will end up in 7th place. Never hit a child with lightning... you will be scarred for life from its voice. Timesplitters 2: You could spend a lot of time doing nothing with bricks and fire extinguishers. Monkies never get old. Elder Scrolls 3 : Morrowind: (includes mods) Prostitutes have nice clothing. The house of earthy delights has an insane man willing to sell you a gallion for a price that you will never find out. always Glorify the female anatomy.... A bow does more damage than most guns... Osama makes frequent appearances in Morrowind. Osama hates elves. The best armor in the game amuses the enemy. Everyone is sexy with the right weapon You will want to stab the woman who takes you up to red mountain. Final Fantasy Tactics: The Ultimate tool is the ability to jump. Judges are assholes... and by the end of the battle... you will want to stab him in the back of the head, knowing that will put you in jail, you give up rather quickly, now wanting to stab yourself for being in this pitiful existence. |
That giant, frozen tuna you were given/looted god knows how long ago as a club for one of your party members will never thaw. Nor will it rot. EVER. (Dark Cloud)
Even if your magic stone was suppose to be a special, unique item that was sought after by everyone in the last game, the chick who just so happens to be a princess from five thousand years in the future will have one EXACTLY the same, except it's blue and takes her back in time, where as yours in red and takes you to the future. (Dark Cloud 2) The vault that your family has been stashing treasure in for decades is an absolute secret and can only be opened by you. Which is why you get a group of thieves together and show them the location of it. (Sly Cooper 3; Honor Among Thieves - this one is just silly. XD) You CAN defeat a boss by singing. (Kingdom Hearts) The people with wings, belts, buckles and insanely long hair are the kickass ones. You either want to join up with them or run far, far away. (A fair bit of games) People will never question why you're rummaging through their house and stealing their stuff. No matter how many cats/people/skeletons/wolves/pigs/birds/bears you kill, the population will never seem to run out. (WoW) Gil/gold/gilda/munny/bolts/etc can always be found by smashing, destroying, or cuting boxes/barrels/rocks/grass. It is always safe to eat/drink/use the items you loot off of monsters/find lying on the ground. No one ever has to take a restroom break. You're home village/town will be destroyed at some point. Whether or not you rebuild it depends on how busy you are at saving the world/state/universe/alternate dimension. |
[ i'm feeling bored... so time for some more random ones]
GTA::SA: No matter how many of your own 'homies' that you kill, there seems to be a neverending supply of people for you to dispose of.... chances are you will most likely kill them for money or weapons, making you a facist goverment owner of some kind. The ultimate weapon involves parking on your enemy, as long as its a person. No matter how many people die, chances are that you won't get the military sicked on you early on in the game... even if you are using your weapons. Tanks have unlimited bullets. THERE ARE NO EASTER EGGS. The game says so. GTA4: 16 people in a bus is the ultimate driveby. The Semi is the best vehicle in the game, especially in racing mode. The hooker gets paid for molesting you through your pants. Gunning down a nightclub leads to one pissed off bouncer. Cops shoot before asking due to the fact that they are too fat to actually tackle you. Diving out of a car is the biggest mistake you will ever make if there is a car coming the opposite direction. Phantasy Star Universe: Neon is commonly worn upon clothing... if it isn't, you aren't cool. Various: Spiked hair is a requirement if you have a girl with amnesia following you around. The final boss is never final By form three, chances are you are going to one to shoot yourself in the head out of annoyance and difficulty. If the enemy makes you physically ill after a few days of CONTINUAL... chances are the game is way too demanding. NEVER TOUCH THE POM POM. |
There is always a random place where you can just stand there. Then you put down the controler and go make youeself some food, come back, and then your character is there with a billion enemies coming after him, but they somehow can't get him. |
Refrigerators are deadly. (Kirby 64)
It's actually perfectly acceptable to go around clubbing things with a dead kid's severed wooden leg; in fact, the leg may one day come in handy. (Diablo II) You can fit 99 green rupees OR one orange rupee in your wallet. Take your pick, but only one will fit. =D (Zelda) And for some reason, monsters always carry money and equipment you can use around with them. |
Mixing random body parts makes healing potions. ~Diablo 2
You can kill anyone by shooting them in the foot enough times. ~Drakan Shooting yourself out of a cannon will never hurt you. ~Mario 64 No one cares whose car you steal, as long as it isn't the cop's. ~Jak 2 |
A Sword, Pelt, and fish, Creates steamed Buns ~ Wonderland Online
Your stalker will willingly drown in a lake for you ~ Oblivion Companion Hilda will not mind being stripped down and being forced to dance in a public area ~ Morrowind (companion Hilda mod) Mountain+Police Chase=Suicidal ~ GTASA If the character contains an X within his name, chances are he is evil ~ A lot of rpgs. Purple is now a natural hair color ~ General rpgs |
In Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, there's a very extensive in-game dictionary. It has information about the characters you meet and places you go, but also some pretty complicated scientific stuff to explain the technology (it's a sci-fi/fantasy game). For instance, one entry completely explains Heisenberg's uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics. Pretty much the last place I expected to be able to study for my chemistry test. :/
And I learned about the problems of storing nuclear waste while playing Metal Gear Solid 2. |
If you have the energy pack, a sniper rifle equipped, and a high up, out of sight place near the enemy base, you can totally snipe someone in one hit from behind if you charge up the rifle first. (Tribes Aerial Assault)
There are some cars that you were never meant to like. This especially applies to the ones that are definitely not all terrain, but are constantly treated as such. You will have to use that ONE CAR for the entire game, even during the next-to-final boss fight. Screw the big tank like car that would actually be more effective. (Jak 3) Sometimes, you do actually have to pay to save your game. (Maximo) -more to come as I get bored. XD;- |
-Regardless of how urgent something is, you can always go back to it later. (any rpg/mmo)
-The Elf race is always half nude, and they enjoy that. -Apparently your communication device is the toughest thing you have. -If you look hard enough, you might be able to spot Exclamation points and Question marks above peoples heads. |
No matter how many enemies you kill, there will always be more if you come back later.
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No matter how much evil you do with the cowl on, as soon as you take the cowl off you're home free--Oblivion
Guards are always going to be annoying and obnoxious ---most rpgs. Radiated horseshoe crabs are sons of bitches --- Fall out 3 Stay hidden or stupid snipers will blow your brains out --- Any halo If your ressurector dies....you die 10 seconds later--- Shadowrun STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE WITCH AND TANK!!!!---Left 4 Dead You can hurt yourself with that giant ring ---Tira in Soul Calibur 4 Casts are the hardest damn race to level up----Phantasy Star Universe Terrorists are damn well annoying --- Rainbow six vegas 1 and 2 Puppies need lots of attention ---Nintendogs Team Galatica is just as annoying as Team Rocket----Pokemon Diamond Stupid spinning top --- Pokemon Ranger (1st one) Temple gods are bastards!! ---any rpg and also Zuma You can ALWAYS out run cops or wait out the heat ---Need for Speed Zombies go down with a swift blow to the head or a million shots into the body. ----Any Zombie game!!!! |
The less a female character wears, the more protected from physical assault she is. (Just about any game that has women)
Zombies can do more than just shamble. They're actually very fast and are intent upon more than just brains. (Half-Life 2, Left 4 Dead, and most zombie games nowadays.) Aliens are ALWAYS more technologically advanced than ourselves. (Halo, etc.) A single person is usually responsible for stopping all major forms of evil. (Any game.) The common people love placing anything from potions to gold to armor inside of strategically placed chests. (Most rpgs.) |
i learned that, compared to the pokemon trainers, i am REALLY out of shape. i mean, they run everywhere for the first half of the games and then either bike or fly for the rest.
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-The computer is a cheating bastard! (any game in existence)
-If some creature is hopping around, not bothering you or anything else... for gawd sake, leave the thing alone! It has back up! -If you can't think of anything to say, there is always the last option. |
Surprisingly and unexpectedly, I learned more math and how to add/subtract/multiply/divide money, gold or whatever currency in games that feature a lot of selling, buying and trading.
I also learned that in any game, there is always at least one person who will do the following: a. walks around sniggering and calling newbies/noobs names. b. utter curse words c. ask for donations. |
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Anything can be solved by either grabbing, throwing, or shaking something.
The red ones are unaffected by fire. Infants are best transported via relay system. As long as you have the golden feathers, you will be unharmed. A switch you can hit with a feather is unaffected by coconuts, peanuts, or anything else. Time never passes indoors. Time never passes in towns. You can't kill the giant owl. Chickens will attack en masse when angered. No matter how far away you are, the horse will always come. Ghosts are vulnerable to swords. Jellyfish are not. You have three days to get through 4 dungeons and countless side quests. Three days is plenty of time. Everything is edible. EVERYTHING. 1hp and asleep, they will never stay in the high class capture device. But throw a low classed capture device at the very start, and they can never escape. And while we're at it everything you run into will hate you, but once you beat it down with enough fire or electricity they'll be your friend forever. Lv 100 Magikarp are always the most fun, always. The rabbit lies, no amount of barrel rolls will save you from that wall you keep hitting. Shells fly at the same speed until they hit something or fall down a bottomless pit. Green wearing turtles will walk off the edge. Red ones will not. Feathers instantly grant one the ability to fly. Flowers give one the ability to will bouncing fireballs into existence. Being hit causes one to spontaneously lose either of those powers. The disappearing blocks will always move the moment you decide to jump. The enemy will always patiently wait for you to decide what you want to do. The thief is useless. So is Flonne. Money does grow on trees, but only when planted in the shiny spot. People will give you furniture if you find their precious ______. Store enough power, and make cake rain from the sky for massive damage. Only hardcore nerds know NiGHTS is a boy. Magic stones can bring card monsters to life. Monsters that kill you more than once will be useless when you get them. Rabbits have very short attention spans and a fetishistic love for plungers. Being a werewolf or werewolf-thing does not somehow magically make your game not suck. Spikes kill you. So does fruit. So does everything else. There will NEVER be a remake, no matter how hard you wish. Pokemon will never be good again. Neither will Mario Or Zelda. Everyone in this galaxy but you is either retarded, or your enemy, or both. It isn't dead. Bonus points to anyone who can name every game on this list. |
Unless you are taught how to swim, you will immediately drown in anything made of liquid, regardless of how shallow it is.
Before two days ago, you were an imbecile who didn't even know how to jump. Someone had to tell you how to. Walk into strangers' houses and take their stuff - they don't care. If they say something that implies they care, they don't. Take their stuff anyway and walk on their bed just to spite them. The sun never ever goes down unless relevant to the plot/cut scene, to aid in making an area seem spooky, or when you visit a hotel. The plot says you're being chased down. But no matter how long you stay in town, your pursuers will not catch up to you. The pretty girl will fall in love with you kind of sort of, but then you'll piss her off and she'll run away/shun you. It will be forgotten a few plot advancements later, or patched up hurriedly with a half-assed apology-type thing. (Every final fantasy) If you can get on top of that background object, it is important. The voice actors will suck. Villians will always take their time to kill you. They'll begin off with a very long ramble, and then won't bother to "really finish you off" until they're half dead. They won't bring out their biggest, worst move until they're very nearly dead. Any enemy without a name is probably incapable of healing itself. Someone from "your side" will turn over to the "bad side." Someone will always teach you how to do a new move conveniently right before it's needed. Some people are incapable of jumping at any point in their life time. They can't even stand on a chair. I play too much Final Fantasy. |
You have to be aggressive and assertive. :D (Mario Kart)
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I learned how much fun they really can be and how addictive they are. And the japanese humor is amazing.
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just because it looks safe doesn't mean it is.
just because you were there earlier doesn't mean things are still the same. even if you cant see it that doesn't mean it cant see you. little girls are far better characters than adult men. just because you have a person with you doesn't mean they are your friend. save it now or risk doing it again. if you see unguarded money never take it even if you will need it later. |
In general iv learned a lot of philosophy out of them and story that can be used to help move others.- pretty much all games, cept games like mario or something.
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Don't take life for granted, because before you know it, you'll be imbued with magical powers and destined to destroy extreme evil that is threatening the entire human race.
And your cat can talk. And possibly fly/cast magic. |
electricity + water = bad. (infamous)
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