Ugh...I saw the movie last night (it finally reached my town) and...I have to say, I cried. I fucking cried through half of it, groaned through another quarter of it...really I only laughed through about 3/16 of it, and that just SHOULD NOT BE.
Maybe I'm just turning into my dad, but personally...no offense to anyone, but in comparison to the old show...I thought it freaking sucked.
Now, putting similar jokes in something totally NEW? I probably would have liked that. But tied with one of my favorite shows...no.
Less "rats and poop" and more "Chuck Norris with a BB gun," please.
Honestly, I don't mind modernization as a whole. I LOVED the Chuck Norris line, and I'll have to admit the "I have a new pacemaker" line was absolutely excellent. But it really could have done without all the bathroom and sex jokes. That actually made me rather sick, really. The old show was hilarious WITHOUT that - and believe me, not all the jokes are dated. They COULD have gone for something like those...but instead, they went for sex and potty humor.
Not only that, but they COMPLETELY changed around the characters' personalities. I can see 99 being less kind and patient before she really knew Max well, I'll give it that...but Max is supposed to be a bumbling idiot! He made too much sense to be himself. For instance, the "How do I get them to take it?" line was taken from an old episode...only back then, he wasn't cracking a joke, he actually MEANT it. I can understand 99's personality change...but I don't see Max getting less intelligent over time like that.
And what was with the continuity-fuck? I mean...the OLD show was recognized, but it was the same characters in positions from BEFORE the old show started? I'm...still trying to figure that out.
And for another little continuity error that I don't think a lot of people noticed - it was mentioned in one episode that 99 became part of Control two weeks after Max. In fact, I believe I remember the exact quote:
Quote:
Max: Did you know that when I first joined Control, the Chief had a full head of hair?
99: Really? When I joined, he was bald.
Max: Oh yeah, that's right, you joined two weeks after I did.
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Yet in the movie it was strongly implied that she'd been there for MUCH longer than Max had.
I find it VEEERY sad that I seem to know more about the old show, which had long finished its run before I was even born, than the people who MADE THE REMAKE.
I guess I probably should have taken it as a sign when 90% of the good reviews I read were written by people my age or younger who had no knowledge of the old show.
Personally, I'm sticking with the old version. And I'm kicking myself for wasting two hours of my life on the movie.