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-   Celes Paradi 2009 (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=218)
-   -   ZERO's Joke thread (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=123018)

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 07:24 AM
ZERO's Joke thread
 
I couldnt see this anywhere, So I thought that I'd start it up before someone else can
Basically, Just have a wee chat and post some funny jokes:sweat:

Please remember to Quote your jokes.

V I X E N 08-11-2009 07:31 AM
HAHAHA... i see that video got you in the mood ahy lol

*whats a fish without an eye????*

* A FSHHHHHHHH*

hehehe i love it

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 07:35 AM
Quote:
A priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody!"
1 joke.

V I X E N 08-11-2009 07:39 AM
BAHAHA... oh
that's good.
so very true as well.
Damn Christians. Still trying to push their religion on you even when you are dying
XD

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 07:45 AM
Ok, this ones a bit dirty, Buts Its funny.

Quote:
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY

and for number 2 my all time favourite joke of all time, Drum roll please-
Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel, Hands the clerk 3 nails, and says, "can you put me up for the night?"
Sheer brilliance.

Cremuex Levier 08-11-2009 07:48 AM
Quote:
"He had blue eyes."
"Really?"
"Yeah, one blew that way and the other blew that way."
That's a horrible joke my boyfriend likes to use when he's in shooter games, normally when it concerns head shots on zombies D:

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 07:51 AM
haha, Thats pretty funny actually, Allthough zombies usually have dead, holow grey lifeless eyes.
Quote:
What does a vegetarian zombie say?
"grraaaaaaaains"

Cremuex Levier 08-11-2009 07:53 AM
Quote:
How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but it'll take about 6 episodes.
another joke

V I X E N 08-11-2009 07:53 AM
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
that is pretty awesome.
where you find that little treasure?

Oh yes.. the crow. Best joke.
I love it so much

@Levier- hahaha i heard that one today on some 50 jokes in 4 minutes.
me & Zero watched it earlier hehe

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 07:56 AM
looks like shes watched that video too huh? haha
Quote:
How many DBZ characters will it take to scre in a lightbulb?
OVER 9000!!!!

Seito 08-11-2009 07:57 AM
Joke threads are fine to have, but remember to quote them since they're not your own original work! (and no way to determine if they are yours or not) :3 So I'm gonna go ahead and quote the jokes that have already been posted and all I ask that you quote your future ones too okay? :3

Cremuex Levier 08-11-2009 08:01 AM
Quote:
Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if they lived by the bay they'd be baygulls (get it, bagels)?
Thanks for the heads up there Seito!

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 08:01 AM
no worries
I'm getting all mine from the web anyway. Ive forgotten all my own good jokes. I had a few pages of them written down somewhere
Anyway, Hers a Chuck Norris joke
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

V I X E N 08-11-2009 08:03 AM
heheh thankyou Seito
we shall keep that in mind
Oh.. umm who would i talk to about ideas for a new item idea??
Cause i came up with one just a few min ago hehe..

rampagerose 08-11-2009 08:03 AM
Quote:
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Kekeke that one is cute. :)

Cremuex Levier 08-11-2009 08:07 AM
Quote:
What are the two dirtiest animals on the farm?
Brownchicken browncooooow
And another one!

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 08:08 AM
That last ones great! Heres a few more Chuck jokes
Quote:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Vestidity 08-11-2009 08:08 AM
Okay. This joke may offend people, just a warning. But it's only a joke, so keep that in mind.

Quote:
Farrah Fawcett dies and goes to Heaven. At the gates, God says to her: "You've been a good woman and lead a good life, I will grant you one wish, what do you want?"
Farrah considers this for some time before saying: "I want all the kids in the world to be a little safer."

Michael Jackson died an hour later.
Disclaimer: I loved Michael Jackson and his music, it's just a joke. :)

rampagerose 08-11-2009 08:08 AM
OHhhhhh. It took me awhile to get that! I was thinking... "whattt? that's dumb" But then I got it. Haha.

Vestidity 08-11-2009 08:10 AM
My uncle told me it, I didn't get it at first either. XD But when I did I was like "ohh. <_<;"

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 08:15 AM
Nice one Vestidity
Quote:
Q: Did you hear about the guy who said he would get sick when pigs Fly.
A: The Swine Flu

V I X E N 08-11-2009 08:16 AM
Ok...
im not meaning to offend anyone.
but i do love my blond jokes lol
Quote:
Chased by farmer

A blonde brunette and a red head were all getting chased by a farmer, so the brunette hid in the dog house, the red head hid in the cat house, and the blonde hid in a sack of potatoes. The farmer came in and kicked the dog house, the brunette barked and he thought that was normal. he kicked the cat house and the red head meowed, he thought that was normal. He kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went "Patatoe" "patatoe"

rampagerose 08-11-2009 08:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vestidity (Post 1764806801)
My uncle told me it, I didn't get it at first either. XD But when I did I was like "ohh. <_<;"
Actually I meant the joke at the top of the page. :P Sorry. I should have quoted. YOUR joke I got right away.

ZERO WolF 08-11-2009 08:22 AM
cats have a house now? o__O

Quote:
Q. What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
A. Hose A and Hose B

V I X E N 08-11-2009 08:25 AM
XD lol

thats just silly lol


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