Wow, Shadamimi, you wrote well. I can feel intimately with what the character feeling. Especially the part where she wakes up. O__O
and sky trams is awesome. I like.
I just want to know what you have currently. In terms of character, setting and such.

thanks :D

I'm basically starting by introducing the main characters. And trying to describe the world well enough for it to make sense. Sky trams is what i decided to call them, though they're more like subways that are in the air like ski lifts?

I think Skytrams works!
Now I just need to know MORE about your world building so far. I LOVE worldbuilding.

Dakukuu~ well, the great thing about novelist is... it doesn't have to be full time. You can do it part time. earn two salaries~

Yeah, I wish I could be a full time writer and actually live off that though.

*blushes* Usually its the feelings people say i'm not good at describing, this is a HUGE compliment. thank you so much!!!

well basically... if you've heard of skies of arcadia, i pulled things from that world... changing it up to meet how I saw my new world. I just like the idea of floating islands, and pirate ships that can fly.
so i've got this "heaven, earth, hell" thing going on. I guess you can say it has a bit of treasure planet in it as well. xD

There is the King of this city/country , desert areas, regular green places. Alot of flying fish so fishing 'boats' .

It only sucks that i haven't played the full game so i don't know if the ideas i have are going to turn out to be real in the game. and i somehow predicted the game.. but it shouldn't be the case. I've got a fair bit that is different already.

So... basically there is earth which is where all the floating islands are. They don't have the technology to go above a certain level in the atmosphere, above which are these cloud islands where they can see giant beings with wings flying around, and below their level is a mist where they send their dead in a viking ship funeral farewell. (sending them out on this floating coffin that slowly descends into the mist layer and setting it on fire with an arrow)

below which is actually another world which they believe is 'hell' since no one who explores below it ever comes back. and their mechanics malfunction when they get to close.

It sounds so cool and seriously, I'm in love with the idea of flying fish and the fishing ships. It's such a cool detail.

ooo~ ooo~ exciting! Floating islands. By the way, I don't know about the arcadia sky thing.
One of my setting would be floating island too. I am researching how to do it.
You got your layers done already. Nice.

I think your description is leaning to very detail already. If it was me, I would not have describe how the blanket fall and cold blew on skin.

I thought that was just part of the storytelling that had to be there >.<

There's no 'had to be there' with writing. It's very different from person to person, but you really have a knack for giving the feel of the environment Shadami. It's why your world is so alluring. You describe it well.

It depends on storytelling. Yours is more descriptive than mine.
and not making it a bore read.

However, in compare to that the first paragraph. I feel kinda... confuse. Maybe it is late night here, or maybe I am just pure bias over my love of world building, I just feel meddled. If that is your intention you may have nailed it. I prefer to be clear on what happened. It seems like a jumbled of description and then jump to the thought, from 3rd person pov suddenly one sentence is 1st person pov.

My preference is to be clear. XD

Rette sounds like a minimalist. Do you like the style of writers like Hemingway?

No, I am not a minimalist. XD I just focus more description on environment.
The only time I care how curtain flow because of someone came in is because it is plot related. XD
I tend to overdescribe environment even though it had nothing to do with the plot. haha.

oh, that being said. I am a descriptive writer. but I am not a good descriptive reader. XD
I tend to get lost. Especially if the paragraph is so super long.
Like Tolkien's LOTR's formatting. I give up the book after 2 pages.

*confused*

did i change tenses in the actual story bit? I didn't think I did, but I have a problem with tenses.

if you're talking about me describing a bit more of the story. that's what it is. its just a jumble of ideas in my head. and nothing really ties together until i write it.

Not about tenses. I am weak in past present future tense too.
In that paragraph, you were mainly talking about the mist and liquid state and floating here and there?
In within that, you put in how the character think.

is that wrong?

Got my outfit, mostly - figured out for tomorrow. And now back to writing! ^_^ Gotta get at least up to tomorrow's goal so that I can feel ok about missing out on a writing day tomorrow.

Ugh ... I just need another 300 words and my goal for today will be met, I keep getting distracted though.

You can do it! Papillon, do you want to do a word war to see who can write more - great incentive to get words down. :)

It's 300 words for me as well but I'm not even trying right now. I need to brainstorm/zone out and daydream.

Good or bad fuu? >.<

uh oh... with dots that doesn't feel like its going to be good news :[

and i've written a little more since earlier. but i got a huge headache and been all ugggghy for the last hour or so.

---------- Post added 11-01-2014 at 07:19 PM ----------

i thought laptops were like 1000?