Captain Howdy's Profile |
Visitor Messages
Showing Visitor Messages 31 to 40 of 2381
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If you call that extra lumpy, then you're in for quite the surprise when you finally locate your girdle in that miasmic blackhole you call a hamper.
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The plumber didn't get shot in the kitchen you tawdry tamarind trollop.
He got shot in the conservatory, and I'm pretty sure Lady Boobie did it.
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My muffins are burnt and mostly just lead and mercury, bitch, so they're not even technically muffins.
I HAVE NO PEERS.
About Me
- About Captain Howdy
- Biography
- I was born in a log cabin on the desert plains of Saskatchewan. My mother was a coal miner. My father was Aqua Man. We kept him in a tank in my backyard. I didn't spend much time with him cause I would drown.
My favorite thing to do as a child was astral projecting to Finland and eavesdropping on conversations. I can't understand the language, but i'd pretend they were saying something vastly profound and that I was somehow a part of history.
My dog died while I was at camp. He wasn't old or anything. He was in a shoot out with the cops. My dog ran with a tough crowd. His name was Mittens.
So this one time... Me and Bobby Greely were out down by the railroad tracks and he said, "Do you want to see a dead body?" And I was like, "Oh hell yeah." And so he bludgeoned himself with a rock. And I was like, "Aw, do it again." ... But he didn't say anything.
*spins* How does this work? I really... don't know. - Location
- In a hollow tree, where I make cookies.
- Interests
- Reading to Orphans and Deep Tongue Kissing Hobos
- Occupation
- I am a burden to society.
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