Emelith Xiuhcoatl's Profile

Somebody it will be the thing everyone knows is
How do say, what they want
Maybe they will propose without rings and use roses
I want there to be, something to see
And I want you to believe in me
I thought I made it clear when I said
I love it when you live inside my head
And now I think I know what I want from you
Please listen cause every word is true
There is nothing more I want then to be in your arms
Because when I'm with you, I can't be harmed
I can just reflect the truth, but instead I soak it in
But that light you lit, shall never again be dim
If it seems I am lost, please forgive me
It's just this isn't the way I normally see
But this time I think I'm loving this feeling
Cause being with you keeps my heart healing
And there won't be any more reasons to hide
I think I have finally made up my mind
From now on I'm going to have to learn to deal
As I wait for the time I will lose my feel
I want you to be the only one I should love
No longer will I allow myself to taken by my past emotions

So, I'm lost in my own state of very annoying confusion, and maybe just possibly I'll be able to shoot myself in the head. No, I'd never do that, but please hear me out. Man, I am insane.

Just how insane? Well, I created this skit...

[COLOR="Red"]Fred dude: Damn, I knew just a minute ago I had my chicken. Where the hell is my chicken?[/COLOR]

Bob dude: Fred, you never had a chicken?

[COLOR="red"]Fred dude: What's chicken?[/COLOR]

Bob dude: You are kidding me right? You just asked me where your chicken was?

[COLOR="red"]Fred dude: Yes! Where the hell is my freaking chicken?[/COLOR]
[B]
Speaker dude: Bob dude runs into the kitchen and runs back out with a candy bar.[/B]

[COLOR="red"]Fred dude: Hey! That's my chicken![/COLOR]

Bob dude: Yep, I found your chicken.

[COLOR="red"]Fred dude: Gimme my chicken![/COLOR]

Bob dude: You want it? Come get it!

[COLOR="red"]
Fred dude: Okay![/COLOR]

[B]Speaker dude: Fred dude walks up to Bob dude. Bob dude eats the chocolate bar right in front of Fred dude just as he approached him.[/B]

Bob dude: Yummy!

[B]Speaker dude: Bob dude falls over and dies.[/B]

[COLOR="red"]Fred dude: Yummy to your tummy equals dummy for your mummy.[/COLOR]

When I lose myself, I think of this one special person. He's not a piece of my heart anymore, but I held him close for an awful long time. I'm extremely close to somebody near him, but ever since I hurt him, I felt myself fading away from him faster and faster with each day.

Now, I know the chances of him reading this are great, and there will be other people who will see this who I wish wouldn't, but I need to vent my feelings... so here they go.

I'm greatly in love with the man I'm with, but there had been a long period of time that I had felt horrible for hurting the man before him.

The man before him never knew, but I had been looking for an excuse to leave him for awhile, I just never had the heart to do it. However, when the time came when he said "we should just be friends" I realized how much I truly needed his words of love.

I was stuck healing, which I knew I would have to do, but once I made my decision, things changed. He had found somebody else, and for some reason, I knew it was going to happen. Of course, I acted happy, but then I fired back a day later.

Why? Because I was jealous, I didn't want to admit it, but yes... I was... I was with somebody who I never felt uncomfortable with, and I was acting like a drama queen because my ex had moved on.

Of course, I acted like a royal bitch, and I was afraid I lost him. Well everything was fine, but I learned something. He... he has horrible relationship skills. He takes things too far too fast, and I get pissed off about that.

And another thing... he doesn't realize that the "love" he is showing is truly only obsession. There is a difference, and I can see it with him.

You see, once he was removed from my heart, I realized that he became a whole lot colder towards me. I mean, he said we could be FRIENDS, and yet he was acting like a complete asshole. He doesn't know it, but he was. He told me to grow up and be more mature, but he needs to as well. He has the wrong views of love, and even friendship.

Another thing that's bugging me... his current girlfriend was once one of my good friends. Actually, I had a tiny crush on her once... but the thing is... my friendship with him is strained, and because of that I am afraid he will make her hate me. Of course he'll complain to her. Dammit, he's a fucking baby most of the time, but I don't see why my friendship with her has to be in jeopardy because he can't keep his mouth shut.

So yeah, here closes the end of my rant. To those I have mentioned, I'm sorry if you are angry at me, but I truthfully don't care. I'm done hiding my feelings, and I no longer care what you think of me.

Good day everybody

This is another poem that I wrote for the love of my life. I was half asleep when I actually wrote this on paper, and my typing really isn't an improvement. Well, these are more words of love to Riyo. Yay! ^__^

[COLOR="Red"]<3[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Purple"]I was nothing but a peasant
Crying by myself as the days went
I was horrible in every way
There was nothing good anybody could say
I had searching for years for my meaning
As my heart went through it's eternal cleaning
So I decided to blow my cover
One decision lead to another
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met you
It took so little time, but I think our love is true
Even though I doubted it at first
I think my love has quenched it's thirst
And if love was a puzzle I could play
This time I think I've found my way
I was sick of going the extra mile
But now I'm with you, I can always smile
When I cry now, it always from happiness
And when you are here, it'll be pure love and bliss
I use to smile, but only from pain
But now I'd love just to kiss in the rain
There are so many things you have changed in my life
And someday I wish to be your wife
I dream about you night and day
Every morning I wake up and say:
I don't know what I could do
Because my life is pathetic without you[/COLOR]

With each day I realize more and more what an amazing man I have. I have loved others in the past, but after the 3 months I have been with Riyo, I realized that... I think this truly is the first time I've actually fell in love.

I know it had been 3 months, but I think there is nothing less that I can say. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He makes me happier than any other person has. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I know somehow he will make it better.

And it's a little funny, but I've already started planning out my future with him. Most would say I'm crazy, but I say I'm truly in love. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend- no fiance than him. ^_^

If you are reading this Riyo, I love you! I love you so much, and I know we will be together for a very long time! I love you more and more every day. Someday I hope I could look up at the starry sky with you next to me! I want you to hold me in your arms every day. I want you to be the only one who can see my tears, and the one I can smile for. There are times when I can't breath, but when you say 'I love you' I know everything will be alright. I love you Riyo, I love you so much!

~Emelith Xiuhcoatl