Fallen~angel~plushie's Profile

[FONT="Courier New"][COLOR="DarkRed"]Well, it's been a few months since I posted. Sorry guys I've been really busy!! School is a killer, and work...well, work helps me get my mind off things. So does forgien music I suppose. (This is for those who know bands like Nightwish.)

Funny, at lunch, me and my friend discussed how we were afraid of spiders. Something so simple can really make me so happy.
You see, I was so nervous about driving to school and to home. I was scared because of all the crashes that happen outside our neighborhood.
But I drove, and I made it to school. But when I was in school, I started to panic and think about getting into a crash while going home.

I'm one of those people you have to write step-by-step instructions for. You could call it stupidity, or perfectionism, or whatever you want. I get scared when I don't know how to do something. Afraid I'll fail and be laughed at and made fun of. I'm very...human you could say. Afraid of failure, and afraid of the very fear I have. That it's shamful when really it isn't.

I went to lunch, expecting to see my friend. My heart accelerates every time I see him. Not to mention when I talk to him. But after a moment of just talking with him; my heart slows down and I relax.

So when we talked, we talked about our shared fear of spiders. (But he's way braver than I am because he can actually smash the thing with his bare hand. whilst I have to have a shoe.)
We talked and talked, one of those times when the center of your universe focuses on one spot. Where time seems to slow down and you really feel...happy. Like it's only the two of you sitting there, and the outside noises get blocked out besides the sound of that persons voice.

It's like that for me, also it's just because he's a cool guy. lol. :cool:
After we talked, I was completely calm, ready to go and take on the world. When I drove home, I wasn't nervous, but very calm. I had driven this route a thousand times. I could do it again. As I drove, I turned up the music and started to sing. Something I do when I become afraid and drove sucessfully home.


Funny how someone can take your fear away, and make time go considerably slow. God does that for us also, when we pray to him, all distractions are blocked out. More so when you totally focus on his word and listen to what he has to say.
I listen, and I learn from his word. Wisdom is one of the greatest gifts he can give you.





For now, farewell,[/COLOR][/FONT] [SIZE="1"]~[COLOR="Magenta"]Plushie[/COLOR]~[/SIZE]

[COLOR="Magenta"][SIZE="2"]I've been thinking an awful lot about how I used to be these days. And the more I think about it, the more I don't want to think about it.
You know what I mean?

I've been doing this daycare job for a few days now. Don't get me wrong I love it to death! Seeing those cutie kids all the time, and being apart of their life.
But I imagine what it would've been like if a certain someone haddn't interveined in my life. How grateful to God that he did, how much I praise God that he did.

Back then, I had very long hair, the I never kept. I am...well endowed and I have been since middle school. Boys made fun of me for it so I wore huge jackets to try and hide it.
I never kept my skin so I looked....well, I didn't look good lets put it that way. lol.
And always...I always felt a deep pain that never went away. It made me lose touch with God for a long time. Making my world a dark place that I thought I knew. Thought it was a dark place devoid of love and understanding.
Until one day in class. I sat alone in the gym, and suddenly, he came up and said hello.
"Hey, what's up?"
"....Nothing."
"Why arn't you out there with everyone?"
".....because I don't want to."
"Well-"
And from then on me made me laugh so hard I was crying. He stayed with me every day, he cheered me up and delt with my whinning and complaining.
And eventually, I cut my hair off and started to fix it. I became more comfertable in long sleeve shirts, I kept my face better.
It was like a light shown through the darkness and led me out of the tunnel. God was waiting, and helped me out through this wonderful boy. Also my sister. ^^



I remember back then and I look at past jouernal entries and such. It scares me how depressed I was back then. It makes me thank God for what I have now, and how much I know people love me now.

Well, that's my 2 cents for today, see you next time![/SIZE][/COLOR]

My first day at work was yesterday. It went so well I was so excited to go back again today.
(I work at a daycare by the way. :sweat:)
My first day was so exciting, I was nervous that I would make a mistake but eventually I just got into the groove of it. And the kids love me, I'm with the two year olds.

Gotta warn anyone who goes into this, two year olds will CLING to you. I'm not kidding, I had one try and climb on my head. :insane:

Today was my second day, it was aslo fun. I finally got to get one of the mexican children to calm down and play. Poor kid doesn't speak english so I spoke the only spanish I knew and that seemed to get him to like me.

I work everyday except saturdays and sundays. Which is nice because I try to get up for church as often as I can.

Well, that's all for today~ See you tomorrow! :O

[FONT="Times New Roman"][SIZE="2"][COLOR="SandyBrown"][LEFT]Hello everyone, it's Fallen here. ^^ If you know me from Roli please tell me so, I need buddies! :sweat:

Anyway, I now have my first JOB!! I'm working at a local daycare. -Ish not giving out names- :sarcasm:

Summers been going to pretty well, I've been bored though, can't wait for school to start. Somehow, I just wish to do my best this school year. Because at Falls Creek (Christian Church camp.) I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I want to be a good wife and momma! Also to work with children, the joy of my life.
I figured this out when singing in the choir when we went to tabernackle, I broke down and asked God to lead me on the way he had set for me and....

BOOM

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm a big believer in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Peoples who wonder who or what that is, feel free to ask. ^^ But anyway, I cried and stuff then went back to my cabin and was really stressing over this. :insane:
But I figured it out when I got home and started applying for jobs again. I applied at a daycare and felt that I needed to be there.
-Cough cough- holy spirit -cough cough-
Anyway, I now work for a daycare and couldn't be happier. =3

If you want to Pm me, just go right ahead. ^^


Favorite verse- Proverbs 17:22~

"A joyful heart doeth good like medicine, but a broken spirit dryeth the bones."[/LEFT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]