Captain Howdy's Profile
- About Captain Howdy
- I was born in a log cabin on the desert plains of Saskatchewan. My mother was a coal miner. My father was Aqua Man. We kept him in a tank in my backyard. I didn't spend much time with him cause I would drown.
My favorite thing to do as a child was astral projecting to Finland and eavesdropping on conversations. I can't understand the language, but i'd pretend they were saying something vastly profound and that I was somehow a part of history.
My dog died while I was at camp. He wasn't old or anything. He was in a shoot out with the cops. My dog ran with a tough crowd. His name was Mittens.
So this one time... Me and Bobby Greely were out down by the railroad tracks and he said, "Do you want to see a dead body?" And I was like, "Oh hell yeah." And so he bludgeoned himself with a rock. And I was like, "Aw, do it again." ... But he didn't say anything.
*spins* How does this work? I really... don't know.
- In a hollow tree, where I make cookies.
- Reading to Orphans and Deep Tongue Kissing Hobos
- I am a burden to society.