Alyssia's Profile

[B][CENTER][SIZE="2"][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR=#6699FF]It came in the mail, it was news to me
Its all those things that you don't want to hear
All the voices echoing in your ear
All the things that you wish you could break
All the chains hanging at your neck
What was it that set it into motion
Who was it that dropped the ball
Or rather was it even dropped at all
How can you pick up the pieces that you missed
When you didn't even know that they existed
Where is your life now clouded by the past
I wish I could say for sure that these things wouldn't last.
But how can I get out of the chains that I didn't know I was in
It seems like every time I turn around there's another fucked up
piece to be found
What am I going to do with all of this?
What happened to my dreams
What happened to the life that I wanted to lead
Always feeling overshadowed by things
Always feeling like there is something blocking my way
I know its not all about me, that there are others depending on me
Looking towards me
But at the same time, how can I show myslef so broken, battered, and abused
The hardest part about it all is that I never even knew.[/CENTER]

Now I wonder how many people will read it, and leave a comment. I took this from my poetry with meaning account. Look me up: 'Niece or Alissa [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]

[B][QUOTE][CENTER][SIZE="2"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][COLOR="Purple"]
Incubus

"Love Hurts"

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast to truth
(I don't want to lose what I had as a boy.)
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat.
(As common as a cold day in LA.)
Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts...
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive.
Love sings,
When it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart and try me,
'cause without love I won't survive.

I'm fettered and abused,
I stand naked and accused
(Should I surface this one man submarine?)
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth!
(I'll never lose what I had as a boy.)
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts...
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive.
Love sings,
When it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart and try me,
'cause without love I won't survive.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER][/QUOTE][/B]


[COLOR=#FF0099][B][FONT="Garamond"][SIZE="2"]I posted that for...three reasons:[INDENT]This song is on my mind
I seemingly always have love issues (main reason)
And to make this statement

If love hurts this much and if that is what feeling alive truly feels like

Then I really feel like I'd be better off dead or at least unable to feel >.>[/INDENT]Now I'll explain that just a bit.

You see I seem to be stuck in this loop of...hot flaming mess, that really consists of me falling for all sorts of dirtbags and douches. No matter how many times I have my closest friends tell me what I'm worth and that theses guys are a total waste its like I can't turn them down. I know how things will end and everything to the point where it hurts and it still doesn't stop me. I feel like I'm broken or something. All in all I think I've wasted a good four-five years of my life in this loop and I'm still stuck in it. I talk about it ever so often and ask for advice...it never really helps because I can't seem to apply it.

I tell myself I want out or never again...and it still manages to happen. I moved half way across the globe to get away from one douche and I ended out finding like two more...its like no matter where I go there is at least one there waiting for me or something. And what's worse it took me about three months to come across both of them....I wonder how many I'll find this year. :sarcasm: It makes me want to say I hate my life when it comes to this area. All in all that is about all that there is to it. I mean there is more...but time and sleep are against me here so I'll leave it at that. Feel free to comment. [/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"][FONT="Palatino Linotype"][SIZE="2"]There are quite a few things that I want to do, most of which are art related...and well I find myself either being totally lazy and not doing anything at all

Or doing a little and being content with it. I can't remember the last time I was excited about something that I'd drawn...and its not like they look bad or anything like that.

I'm just not happy with any of it...

at all...

I wonder what I should do about it.

All in all I think that I've gotten four thing drawn that I really like out of the nine that I've done. But on the down side of that...it took me a little over a month to get it done. >.>

I mean even though I work full time Mon-Fri and go to the gym Mon-Fri in the mornings before work and I come home clean, take care of my pet, find time for places like this, and hang out with friends from time to time...I feel like I should try harder. Or something...>.>

All in all I think that there isn't much else to say on the matter. Wish me luck. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="2"][I]Its all those things that you don't want to hear
All the voices echoing in your ear
All the things that you wish you could break
All the chains hanging at your neck
What was it that set it into motion
Who what it that dropped the ball
Or rather was it even dropped at all
How can you pick up the pieces that you misses
When you didn't even know that they existed
Where is your life now clouded by the past
I wish I could say for sure that these things wouldn't last.
But how can I get out of the things that I didn't know I was in
It seems like every time I turn around there's another f-ed up
piece to be found
What am I going to do with all of this?
What happened to my dreams
What happened to the life that I wanted to lead
Always feeling overshadowed by things
Always feeling like there is somethign blocking my way
I know its not all about me, that there are others depending on me
Looking towards me
But at the same time, how can I show myslef so broken battered and abused
The hardest part about it all is that I never even knew. [/I]

If you couldn't tell its a poem and well I wrote it because of some things that I friend and I chatted about. I may get around to posting that some time sooner or later.

When I first got the news...well lets just say I wasn't too thrilled about it. I mean there where a lot of F-bomb's a'flyin'

I took care of that with some of my favorite songs though so all is well. But I can honestly say for a moment I wanted to shoot myself.


I think my favorite part of the chat was when I said

"Tries to love life" At that moment I really wasn't feeling the land of the living.

Anyway all in all I'm over it I guess you could say so in other news. I can wait for my Death Note Sound tracks to get here >.< I'm really excited. I'm listening to L's theme B at the moment. It so catchy and I just love it. If you haven't looked into it you should (granted instrmentals are your sort of thing)


Later [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]