Panda cocks her head from side to side. "Oh, can i join you??" her lip quivering as she says this. I dont want to be left all alone, in the big bad woods she thinks looking at all the enormous trees. What if there is an animal or maybe even a spider? She shivers inwardly at the thought waking Adali up. Stupid cry baby, shut up! Adali mutters yawning. Panda holds her stuffed animal closer, not wanting to make Adali mad. It made her feel like she was trespassing for some odd reason.When she sees a beautiful butterfly. All those pretty colors in one animal, with awestruck wonder she watches it. Is that tarts i smell, oh how i love sweets. Her mind starts to wonder of all the sweets she can create, her favorite of course is tarty tarts. Getting pulled out her thoughts she hears voices clamoring over a new toy of some sort. Is that Hatters party? she thinks. As Adali yawns,"Why dont you go look?" she says .
Above is what you gave me, below is what I expect it to look like. The differences are in red.
Panda cocks her head from side to side. "Oh, can I join you?," lip quivering as she says this. I dont want to be left all alone, in the big bad woods she thinks, looking at all the enormous trees. What if there is an animal or maybe even a spider? She shivers inwardly at the thought, waking Adali, her split personality, up. "Stupid cry baby, shut up!" Adali mutters yawning. Panda holds her stuffed animal closer, not wanting to make Adali mad. It made her feel as if she were trespassing for some odd reason, when she suddenly sees a beautiful butterfly. All those pretty colors in one animal, with awestruck wonder she watches it. Is that tarts I smell, oh how I love sweets! Her mind starts to wonder of all the sweets she can create, her favorite, of course being tarty tarts. Getting pulled out her thoughts, Panda hears voices clamoring over a new toy of some sort. Is that Hatter's party?, she thinks. Adali yawns, muttering "why dont you go look?"
I understand you are new, but can you re-read your post in wonderland and fix it, and add another paragraph. what does she see, feel, think, hear, smell?
it's never ever fun to warm someone, but you HAVE to be more literate in wonderland, or I will be forced to ask you to accept the removal of your character. I expect VERY HIGH literacy, and small font. I said so in my rules, and I expect it when I read the posts made. Please, adjust your last post.
My name is Randapanda. Im a senior, class of 2011. Im really goofy and crazy. I love to read books. Also im a huge music freak..i listen to anything. If u want to know more message me sometime. ^_^
Location
Arkansas
Interests
Listening to music, reading books
Occupation
Being a student
Signature
"Be yourself everyone else is taken" -Oliver Wilde-