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[CENTER][COLOR="Gray"][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]The breeze came up this evening, cool and refreshing...it lifted the desert heat and carried it away. Following this breeze, is a large storm front. I've never seen such fluffy clouds before, they look like they are clouds of sediment kicked up at the bottom of a lake. It's quite a large storm, who knows if it will reach us, though that's the direction from which the wind blows. I am hopeful.
It's strange lately, I feel different. I don't know if it's the vitamins I've started taking, or the fact that I've been biking 2-3 miles every morning for exercise...for some reason I seem to have just risen out of my depressed low and I feel quite content. I wake up in the morning and I don't sigh at it...and I've actually been eating breakfast. This wouldn't seem to be a likely time for me to suddenly become happy again, Fall semester starts in only two weeks and I have not studied enough in preparation. I'm still in denial about it, and I'm still terribly worried about all the pressure and responsibility which surrounds this semester more than those past. But when I think about it these last few days, I don't start crying at the thought, I feel like I can do it. I can pass this class and I will graduate in December. I am not taking any other classes, I have all the ambition, motivation, and intelligence to do this successfully. There is no reason, save laziness, for me to fail this class, so why worry?
I admit, it does make me nervous, this change in myself. I'm not used to not worrying or feeling down. It's been going on that long, it's become who I thought I was...and I don't know this new me. My family really likes it, I'm happy to not disappoint them, and I'm happy to make them happy. Either way, I think the rain washes away the past, and allows the new and fresh to begin to grow. By next year, I will have my degree and I will have moved to a new place, and I'll start all fresh having succeeded and overcome so much. It's surreal...and terrifying.
<3 Madoka.
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It's strange lately, I feel different. I don't know if it's the vitamins I've started taking, or the fact that I've been biking 2-3 miles every morning for exercise...for some reason I seem to have just risen out of my depressed low and I feel quite content. I wake up in the morning and I don't sigh at it...and I've actually been eating breakfast. This wouldn't seem to be a likely time for me to suddenly become happy again, Fall semester starts in only two weeks and I have not studied enough in preparation. I'm still in denial about it, and I'm still terribly worried about all the pressure and responsibility which surrounds this semester more than those past. But when I think about it these last few days, I don't start crying at the thought, I feel like I can do it. I can pass this class and I will graduate in December. I am not taking any other classes, I have all the ambition, motivation, and intelligence to do this successfully. There is no reason, save laziness, for me to fail this class, so why worry?
I admit, it does make me nervous, this change in myself. I'm not used to not worrying or feeling down. It's been going on that long, it's become who I thought I was...and I don't know this new me. My family really likes it, I'm happy to not disappoint them, and I'm happy to make them happy. Either way, I think the rain washes away the past, and allows the new and fresh to begin to grow. By next year, I will have my degree and I will have moved to a new place, and I'll start all fresh having succeeded and overcome so much. It's surreal...and terrifying.
<3 Madoka.
[/FONT][/COLOR][/CENTER]
Madoka