Hmmm, then can you write it in so that it's obvious that she's going through a "transition between worlds" kind of thing? Even though I myself imagined it as being more chaotic and frightening, such as a VERY sudden drop.
And I keep reading it, but it's just not obvious that she's in shock. At least not to me. O__o;; And why does she only think of Jareth and Raman? What about Emilie? D8
Uhhh... How did she manage to say all of that when the ground was falling out from beneath her feet? How did she even manage to THINK that? I mean, she's falling, isn't she?
And she seems remarkably composed for having gone through a transition like that, and for such a reason. I think there should be a little more time of her going, "OMG, WTF happened?! Oh, crap, I'm back here again? And without Jareth and my friends, noooo..." and THEN she could compose herself? Maybe she's going to try to get back to the Labyrinth somehow? And what about Lewton, wouldn't she want to check on him at the factory? Then she could discover that Lewton has never existed and that they have a new factory manager who could or could not be nicer than Lewton.
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