Roachi's Profile

I think I'm just going to go to bed..
I can't stop crying, he's not talking - I signed out of MSN for good..
I'm not going back on for awhile.
If he wants to talk to me, he'll find a way to get ahold of me.
My head is spinning so much from everything..
I just.. hurt.
My head hurts, my chest hurts..
I can't do it anymore...
I just can't..

Everything is just falling apart...

I thought that too - I was wrong.
I should have known better..
I was stupid to think he thought otherwise right now..

And you're right - had I not fallen so head over heels in love, I wouldn't hurt this much..
I'd be able to stop crying.
But I can't.
And he won't even talk to me anymore. He's too busy talking to her I'm sure.
I'm not going back on MSN for awhile..

Damn it.
I hate that I can't stop crying..

Yes..
But he didn't specify how he loved me when he told me...
It wasn't until after I made a fool of myself that he told me so make sure we were on the same page for where we stood..
I understand where we stand and I don't expect anything more.
But that doesn't stop it from hurting when he starts acting like everyone else...

No, I said she all BUT called me a bitch and all BUT bitched at me - it was very much implied in my opinion.
And I know they're still talking and they're probably reading everything I say.
And at this point? I don't care.
I'm tired of this...
I'm just so tired...

He doesn't love me - I was wrong about that too~
Guess I'm wrong about a lot of shit lately, huh..
He doesn't love me as I thought - he loves me as a very close friend.
He doesn't love me as I love him.
It's different.
I guess it's always been like that. I was mistaken, I was wrong, I was an idiot, I made a fool of myself, I took everything he said completely the wrong way.
He says he sees us growing into a relationship in the future - but how do I know he's not saying it because he knows how I feel and doesn't want to hurt me now?
Yes, I fell hard, really fast... My heart knows what it wants when it feels it.. I guess my head just can't convince it to feel otherwise or take things slow..

And I know too, I just..
Wanted to believe this was different...
I have a feeling I'm going to be crying myself to sleep tonight..
There's no way I can sleep after this...
I can't stop thinking about it and the pain is too great..
It may sound dramatic, but my heart does hurt more than ever after tonight...

He didn't call me a bitch, and neither did she.
It was just basically implied by her.

He talked to a friend, as I talked to a friend.
It's no different.
I'm just too hurt to deal with this anymore...

I am..
But..
He showed someone our conversation and she basically all but bitched me and called me a bitch for saying what I did.
She held her tongue, but you can tell she had a few choice words to say.
And now I'm crying again.
And he's not talking again.
I'm just... done..
And my high fever and dizziness is NOT helping any..
I can't do this anymore.. I just can't..

-sigh-
I'm just so tired of crying... and being hurt... and being lied to...