angelic eruru's Profile

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  1. Marsyas
    01-31-2010 10:10 PM
    Marsyas
    Sure what did you have in mind?
  2. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 05:49 PM
    Jack MacGaven
    eeermmmm...
    Let me think...Something simple.

    ' Jack looked up from his documents, he had been working too hard for the last few days. It had been sunny out and he was stuck in his boring office, working his ass off for the boss he didn't even like! With a long sigh he rolled his desk chair back and stood up. More coffee, yes that would do it. At least, he hoped so.
    Once he got his coffee he reached out for a newspaper that was laying on the same table. There was always news, mainly boring news he already knew or did not have any interest for. Such as war and that sort of things. '

    Something like that.
  3. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 05:41 PM
    Jack MacGaven
    http://www.menewsha.com/forum/commun...si-x-jack.html
    That's a RP that I truly love! Read that one, see if you can write a bit in the style of Jessiflakes. She's amazing!
  4. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 05:39 PM
    Jack MacGaven
    You really need to use proper punctuation. Use comma's more frequently.
    You're doing good on writing capitals after a dot, but use them for I and names as well.
    and you could try to describe things more. You sometimes drop details that could be important later on in the story and you write things that are unnecessary. It's also okay to write down thoughts that your character is having.
  5. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 05:32 PM
    Jack MacGaven
    I could try to explain, but you'll learn this to do and experience.
  6. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 04:30 PM
    Jack MacGaven
    It's just that we are on two different levels. You'll make progress, I am sure of that. I once rped the way you are doing now.
    However if you are more advanced than the other it gets a bit boring sometimes.
    I too faced that feeling, however you mustn't blame yourself. You're still learning.
  7. Jack MacGaven
    01-31-2010 10:56 AM
    Jack MacGaven
    I'm sorry, being so openly blunt lies in my cultural background.
    I am also sorry if I have offended you, but you don't have to explain what Menewsha is for.

    But I am fine with your decision.
  8. happydeath
    01-31-2010 02:38 AM
    happydeath
    *runs away and crys* lmao dont hurt me!!
  9. happydeath
    01-31-2010 02:23 AM
    happydeath
    whoa....commanding arent we? lol
  10. happydeath
    01-31-2010 02:11 AM
    happydeath
    O_O omg i just noticed......he didnt....whoops....^_^;;

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  • Last Activity: 02-22-2015 09:41 PM
  • Join Date: 02-10-2009

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