' Jack looked up from his documents, he had been working too hard for the last few days. It had been sunny out and he was stuck in his boring office, working his ass off for the boss he didn't even like! With a long sigh he rolled his desk chair back and stood up. More coffee, yes that would do it. At least, he hoped so.
Once he got his coffee he reached out for a newspaper that was laying on the same table. There was always news, mainly boring news he already knew or did not have any interest for. Such as war and that sort of things. '
You really need to use proper punctuation. Use comma's more frequently.
You're doing good on writing capitals after a dot, but use them for I and names as well.
and you could try to describe things more. You sometimes drop details that could be important later on in the story and you write things that are unnecessary. It's also okay to write down thoughts that your character is having.
It's just that we are on two different levels. You'll make progress, I am sure of that. I once rped the way you are doing now.
However if you are more advanced than the other it gets a bit boring sometimes.
I too faced that feeling, however you mustn't blame yourself. You're still learning.
I'm sorry, being so openly blunt lies in my cultural background.
I am also sorry if I have offended you, but you don't have to explain what Menewsha is for.