...Poetry about love...
Geisha's passion:heart:
You see my mask face I give you a grace I am a geisha And want give you passion My days is alone My life be a one Please give me your heart Destroy my love dirt I can't see a sun I just blind woman You can give me more But passion is alone The end of love:heart: The end of love You give me today Why we can't choose Next beautiful way My tears give you happy But i want to die My life is not candy I want give you lie The end of love You give me today But i'm not love you And it's one of way The man of the star:heart: The man of the star Have got a mum Her hands is golden Her heart not broken Her smile is big She touch my lip I love he now But he ask: How? It's not very much poetry, but i can write more=3. If you like my write style, please, donate.:) Thank you, my thread visitor.;) |
In the first one it seems you're missing words although a nice choice of subject.
The second one the tenses are slightly amiss and again missing a word here and there. Again same flaws with the third. Try reading you're poetry aloud and read each word carefully to make sure you have them all. Another suggestion is reading a bit up on verb tenses. You're using good verbs but the wrong tense several times. |
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