Tell 'em whatcha think
This thread is intended to be in the same vein of the "letters I can't send" thread, but I wish it to be less serious and even comedic. These should be letters aimed toward big stores, little stores, and their products or service. Perhaps even a lack thereof.
I used to post blogs of this very same nature once upon a time in another avatar site that so sadly imploded. This gist of this thread is to express outrage or disgust about the failings of the stores from which we buy from. Conversely, there are many occasions when praise is worthy. After all, a big corporation didn't become big by getting it wrong all the time. I would word these blogs in a Dear so and so manner and many folks responded positively to them which I appreciated. So who is really going to take the time to write to Walmart or Coca-Cola or the maker of a breakfast cereal? Not me. I won't even complete their stupid surveys. The best I could hope for would be to receive a reply that is disingenuous or even automated. So why bother? And they just wouldn't be very understanding of my sarcasm anyhow. On top of that, you certainly don't get to earn gold by writing these giant (or small) conglomerates, but now you can. |
Dear Walmart:
Hello and thank you for being a large, dependable, nationwide low price leader on general goods and groceries. I have no facts or data to back up the following claim, but I believe Walmart has done more to alleviate poverty in the United States than has our own government. As a truck driver, I have visited many different grocery stores across the nation and certainly a lot of Walmarts along the way. I especially appreciate Walmarts that offer, or at least tolerate the parking of tractor trailers. But not all don't, like that one in Pennsylvania. I forget just where in PA, but it's across the road from a small Pilot truck stop. But I do have a couple of concerns, however minor, that I wish to share. What is the deal with the toilet paper and sinks at Walmart stores? I hate that thin, narrow gauge toilet paper. I am forced to pull down three feet of this inferior paper to do my business. It's truly awful. Then, after exiting the stall to wash my hands, insult is added to injury because I have to now deal with a spigot that has the water velocity and volume of a urinating canary. After having been humiliated with that joke of a toilet paper, I now need the water pressure of a firehose to properly clean my nasty digits. This is not pleasant. Obviously I am never going to cease buying from Walmart and there will never be decent toilet paper available, but it sure would be nice to one day use the facilities within a Walmart and know that I can treat my personal hygiene with pride if I need to. Truckingly yours, Mr. Wrong |
Dear Walmart, (part two)
I forgot to ask if your store could carry the blueberry flavor oatmeal from Quaker Oats. I saw it at another grocery store and bought it without hesitation. It was everything I hoped it could be. No more having to buy the variety pack which only has two packets of my sensational blueberry. Thanking you in advance, Mr. Wrong p.s. yes I am obsessed with all flavors blueberry. no, I am not taking any psych meds. |
I love this idea, Mr. Wrong! :)
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that reminds me, i really wish my walmart would start selling livermush instead of just liver pudding. they are not the same thing!
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Dear Costco,
I love eating the samples you have. They are so great. Sincerely, Salvete ---------- Post added 03-24-2017 at 11:57 PM ---------- P.S. Can you have more samples please :D |
speaking of which,
dear walmart: bring the samples back. y'all used to be good about having samples in the deli area with little meat and cheese cubes on one end and cake or cookie bites on the other. now whenever i go, the dishes are empty or just not there at all. BRING THEM BACK I NEED A FREE SLICE OF JELLO CAKE WHEN I'M BROWSING THE SUPERCENTER ah who am i kidding i haven't gone to the supercenter in forever... just bring the samples to the neighborhood market, plz |
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Dear Dr. Charles Krauthammer of Fox News,
I was watching Tucker Carlson's show tonight and did happen to catch your appearance in the "Friend Zone" segment of his show. During this segment you outlined seven things Donald Trump could do to improve his presidency. Last on your list of seven was your suggestion that he see you for one hour a day for the next seven years. My question to you, sir, is: does this mean that you believe Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020? What a difference eight months can make. From no hope of being elected, to being elected, then being re-elected as president of the United States. Also, I agree with two of your other points that President Trump should change the narrative and take a trip abroad. Perhaps to Diego Garcia where he personally witnesses B-52 bombers take off to carpet bomb North Korea or some point in the middle east. One can only hope. May God bless you and keep you. |
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Dear Samsung,
I recently purchased a new S8 and I find that I cannot directly download internet images directly to the phone gallery as I so easily once could with my old Stratosphere 2. Instead, the image goes to some wacked Google folder. Google need nothing to do with storing images. I really am beginning to wonder if Samsung programmers are sent to North Korea for training so as to learn to make simple tasks a monumental effort. Or backwards. Can't wait for the next phone. |
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so heres what you can do keep in mind that mines att but they all work the same since mines googled based as well [illgetu] this is how you can shut off the pinwheel thing "first go to your 'settings' then go to where it says 'apps' then scroll till you find the pinwheel google photos it should say 'photos' open it then click on 'permissions' the side on/off buttons on the side turn it off where it says 'storage'and now all the images should be downloaded to your normal gallery... works for mine. sincerely, samsung [drool] |
Dear Apple,
thank you for your incessant efforts to add micro transactions to every possible thing you could imagine. Thank you for taking away all customization options from my mobile device and laptop. Thank you for feeding whales and blocking out feedback from any customer that is unwilling to pay for your ridiculous prices. Thank you for making all of your products incompatible with everything else. In the words of Family Guy's Adam West "Excuse me. I bought this laptop here yesterday, but when I got home I noticed the apple already had a bite taken out of it!" Sincerely, Dissapointed customers [of the past present and future] |
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Sound simple? It is not. Taking a screen shot requires depressing simultaneously the upper volume control and phone phone buttons. This action requires nothing short of absolute cybernetic precision Data from Star Trek: Next Generation would be in awe of if achieved. Copy and paste, however, remains just as difficult to use as ever. Thank you, Samsuck. |
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you can always get a screen shot app where you just push a button on the screen easier then using the upper volume control but you probably don't like apps lol but this is the easiest one if you want one without going through pushing buttons and want screen shots[drool] technology yay... https://play.google.com/store/apps/d...reenshot&hl=en |
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Identity politics in the form of corporations >-> |
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Dear customer:
Yes I memorised the specials, it's my job. You don't need to tell me I did a good job as though I'm a six year old in need of a gold star. (And if I'm that impressive, leave a tip [;)]) Sincerely - Hears the same lines every shift |
Dear Walmart employee:
You tried real hard. But when I asked if you had the Pokémon go accessory and you pointed me to the jewelry department, I don't think you quite understood what I meant... Thanks anyway though. |
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Oh yeah, gotta get that pokebling! Haha, funnily enough there were pokemon watches over there, so technically she wasnt wrong
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