Clintasha can ruin a person's life - Clint Unrequited Song Shot
 

Please remember that I wrote these stories a long time ago.
--

Clint looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without


A S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent. That's all I was. But I felt even less then that. Most the time, I felt like a school girl with a silly crush.
I always liked the ones I couldn't have, the ones that were quiet, and had a crush on some other girl.
The ones like Clint Barton.
I knew that he was all I needed. And all I wanted. He just couldn't see that.
He passed by me, while talking with Natasha.
He shot me a silly grin, which I forced myself to return, along with a wave.
Lucky girl. She got Clint all to herself. And she doesn't even act like it.


Clint talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny
And I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
He came to talk to me, after Natasha had to leave.
He enjoyed cracking small little jokes, that were barely even funny.
But, I laughed. Because, despite what everybody else thinks, he was the funniest guy in the world.
We'd spent the day together, and he kept switching the conversation back to Natasha.
The way he talked about her, all the time to me, you would think they were an actual couple.
I saw the look in Natasha's eyes when she was with Clint. She didn't want to admit it, of course, but she felt the same about Clint.
He goes on about her, and I just sit there, nodding along, not wanting to share the truth.
The truth that, he's all I think about, at home, at work, when I'm shopping, even, my dreams revolve around him, most of the time.


He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
I had been sent home, after a few more hours. A silly little love song came on the radio, one of the more popular ones. A song I related to Me and Clint. I knew every word by heart, by now. I couldn't help but hum along everytime I heard it.
I smiled a sad smile, as I pulled up the drive-way to my house, and the song finished just in time.
I felt a single tear roll down my face, as I unlocked my door, and walked inside. Wiping the tear away, I sat down on my couch, and looked at my worn out guitar.
I had written Five songs about Clint, out of the Ten songs that I had written so far.
Non of them were good, but it didn't matter, seeing as I'd never let anybody see them.


Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause~

Fury had sent me, Clint, and Natasha on a mission together.
Arrows, Bullets, and Blades.
Their weapons even fit together.
I gave a small, bitter laugh, and I sat in the now still vehicle.
Natasha had already walked out, and Clint walked after her. He shot me a grin, and continued to walk.
I sighed, and got up to walk out after he'd left the vehicle.
How can he make me feel this way, unintentionally?
Damn him, and his perfection.
Natasha better give him anything he asks for. Otherwise, she doesn't deserve the love that he has. He needs somebody just as perfect as he is.


So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
After the mission, we were taken back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building.
They'd spent the entire ride talking together. I had insisted I sit in the back, away from them.
I would've insisted I sat with Clint, if I ever had any hope that he'd share my feelings.
But, I knew it was a lost cause, so, I went home straight away, sat on my bed and played one of the songs I had written about him, the picture I had drawn hanging on my wall, staring back at me.
I gave a small smile.
I keep putting myself through torture, for one crush.
Why do I do this, you ask? Because. As much as I say it's just a little crush. I know, that it's more. I know that, I've had these feelings for years, ever since we were kids, and I was his best friend. He'd started inching his way out of my life, until i never saw him again. And then he joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and we became friends again. Even in that time without him. I knew I loved him, with all my heart.
I put the guitar down, and layed down, oppisite of the picture.
I closed my eyes, and prayed my dream wouldn't be Clint based.


He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.
I woke up, from a Clint based dream, of course, to find that, once again, my pillow was damp from tears.
And not to help my situation, the first thing I saw, was the picture I had drawn. I gave another bitter laugh, and sat up.
I had to stop these feelings. I just couldn't.
Natasha had won her place in his heart. And didn't even know it. And even if she did, wasn't willing to have that relationship.
I stood up, and ripped the picture from the wall, bunched it up, and threw it in the trashcan.
Bad memories.
That day, I called Fury, and told him I wouldn't be in today. He asked me why, saying that I had to come in, unless it was something very important.
I smiled sadly at the wall.
"It's not that. I'm sorry, Fury. I won't be able to come in today. I know it's short notice, but I have to stop working for you. Unless you're in desperate need of help, at some point. But, in that case, I'll only be there if I can work alone."
And with that I hung up, without waiting for his reply.
I picked up the pages to all of the Clint songs I'd written, and threw them away, after wards picking up a normal song, and playing it, ignoring as the tears fell freely from my face.


Clint looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.