Dear whoever controls what I dream about,

I hate you!! Stop messing with my mind! I finally got over this dude, and you make me dream such things that I've always wanted to happen. ...It will never happen, so stop getting my hopes up and then crushing them when I wake up with out him.
It's sooo mean D: I can't deal with this crap! I hate him! and I hate my dreams !
Just stop torturing me already! Please!

-Dreamer of unrealistics.

Dear life ahead,
Will I ever change?... Will I always be looking for something better in the future? Will I always be waiting for answers instead of trying to find them? Will I still try to change myself to make everyone happy, even though its not always me? Will I be lonely with cats (even though I am allergic)?
Whatever the future outcome is... I hope that its not to bad, because right now I am just waiting for what will happen next.

Dear companies,

I have qualified for every single job I have applied for; some with flying colors. Why is it that these 200+ jobs have not sparked a single interview? What do I not have? What makes you think I'm not the one you want if you know nothing about me except what my resume tells? Do they not show that I am qualified? My personality type fits many of the jobs. In over half a year I've not gotten a call or interview from any of you. Why? What am I missing? I have a bloody 2 year degree and not even McDonalds called back...

Sincerely,
Desperate for work and thoroughly screwed if you don't hire me

Dear Life,

This has never happened to me before. I've finally found some guy that I might be interested in and I've even overcome my urges to cancel on the guy because of me being unsure/cowardly/scared. Then you go and make his friend interested in me too and I not knowing what to do. I hope I'm just misreading it and I don't make a fool out of myself.

Ah, life. You have gotten me again.

Dear Rose

I'm not sure why, but I had a dream about you again. You and I were friends again for some reason. You even seemed kinda happy to be. It was nice, and it made me miss you again, even though we haven't spoken in a long time. I'm sorry you couldn't accept who I am, and wouldn't believe in me. Not too many would, so I understand. I just want you to know (and am much to afraid to even try to tell you) that if that dream were to ever come true... it would make me quite happy. It's really too bad, but I doubt that it ever would. You were a good friend Rose.

Dear world/life

You gave me a crush on Sarah. She'll never want to be with me, but I know how I feel. She'll be a good friend too I suppose. She makes it very hard for people to get close to her. I wonder why? There is a deep fear in her, for some reason of the effect others might have on her. I wonder how long it will be before she even dates again. Last time it didn't go so well for her I'm told. That might do it probably. The fear is older though. From when she was young, and it's been cultivated in her by others around her and her own thoughts. It's very odd knowing such things from the limited amount of time I was near her, and the few conversations we had recently.

The interesting part of the whole thing is that Kyla wasn't bothered by the news at all. Probably good news for her since it makes her finally realize I'm not hurting over her anymore. I love her for sure, but I'm not in love with her that way. She's the most wonderful friend in the world though. :) I'm glad someone kept that promise. To be my friend even though dating wasn't... even though we broke up. I could almost cry. She's a wonderful person.

So after all that I must say thank you. :) Thank you to God for giving me a friend like her. And thank you to her for being such a wonderful friend.

n

Hey, you.

Listen, I know that you whore around online. Even I've fallen for your charms. But I want to get to know you better as a person. Please talk to me. I like it when you flirt, but it no longer makes me feel special. I don't feel like the only guy in the world anymore. But I crave the first text of the morning, and I check my AIM list constantly to see if you're online yet. You're the subject of my drawings. You even said you liked me, but how am I to trust your word? I meant it when I confessed it to you.
-Me.

Dear boy,

You are tired all of the time. It makes me so sad for you that I could cry a little when I see it.
I too am tired.
Please let us move to an island of Napping. We would nap so beautifully together.
Sincerely yours,

The girl who bakes you food.

Dear body,

What. The. Hell. I have PCOS. Mmmmkay, so that explains so many things about myself that I get frustrated at. I thought it was crappy genetics. I started looking back to those in our family before me, and trying to figure out who is like me. Nobody is as bad as me. Instead I have metabolic disorder. Stoooopid body. PCOS can not be cured, and every symptom from it sucks ass. The biggest hit being that I may not be able to have children. My mother sucks more than most mothers out there, and I wanted to have children, to give them the love, care and affection my sister and I never got from our selfish dead beat mother.

To know that my partner and I, both approached this relationship from the viewpoint that we'd like to work together as a team for the rest of our lives, or not at all. I firmly believe we'd give a child a wonderful upbringing, and we'll support, and love the child/ren for the rest of our lives. I would appreciate every single day with them. But instead, I'm sitting here feeling like a shell of a person. I don't quite know what to make of this. It terrifies me. In my heart, I always knew children wasn't going to be something easy. I wouldn't be one of those women who says "We don't need any children." Then BAM - instantly pregnant. I have always felt in my heart that children would be the biggest struggle in my life. I can't explain it, it was just like a sense I've had my entire life. Now it is confirmed.

This is a problem I will always have... I'm in tears writing this... I can't believe this.

Dear Rose.

I miss you. I've had another dream. I truly wish we could be friends. You were a cool person.

Dear friend

I wish we could be more. You'll never see me that way though.

Dear Sarah

I have a giant crush on you. Like a giant one. I'm not sure why really, I mean I don't know you that well, but you have been nice, even sweet to me at times, and you're beautiful and intelligent. It's rare to meet a girl like you. Never thought I would. However you'll never see me that way. I dated your friend, and besides you don't really date much anymore and all. I wish there was a shot there I really do, but I'm sure there's not. I'll have to find someone else.

-John.

Dear John,

Your avatar is on fire. I want to save him!
Good luck with that girl.

-- colors

Dear ___,

Isn't it strange and kind of awkward when we pass by eachother, or even make slight eye contact?
It is to me anyways. I kept bumping into you today, it was the weirdest thing ever. I had a major "fan-girl" attack -moment.
Which is pretty sad that I have labeled myself as your fan girl...Because that is all I'll ever be to you.
There are WAY too many girls out there who love you...and you hang out with this REALLy pretty girl and I just know that she is better than me in everyway...I just hope you are happy.
<3

Dear ____,

I'm thinking about you so much it hurts. I want to lock myself away, just to keep myself and you apart. I fear just how much I feel about you, may overflow and destroy everything we both have built. You belong in my past. You and I were nothing but a series of fleeting moments, but it's crazy just how much time has passed - yet i'm still drawn to you, even after all this time.

My dear pretty girl

I flirted at you, and you blushed. :) I found that cute.

Of course I'm drunk at the moment, but still a couple glasses of wine has never had much effect on my faculties. You are a lovely person, and lots of fun to talk to. :) Thank you for the lovely little chat.

Dear ____,

I hope you're happy living with your fiancee, I hope you're happy planning a wedding that I will never go to. You were my best friend, and when I started dating again after you and I found out my ex was cheating on me with multiple people, after I'd miscarried our baby, you called me nasty names, and wouldn't let go of the fact that it'd only been four months since I'd left him. You claimed I had to be a wh*** because I moved in with him only a month later after I finished my college class, even though I told you it was to help take care of his ill mother, who ended up passing away only a year later. I still miss talking to her late at night while my fiancee and her husband were both at work.

You said that I never visited you because he was controlling me, and who I see and what I do. That was never true, I didn't visit you because we didn't have the gas money to drive almost two hours away just so I could see you for a few hours, then drive almost two hours back to our house. I told you that you could always drive out to visit me, as you have a car too, but you never seemed to manage that either, huh? I invited you multiple times, and we had set up days to hang out so often, but each time you ended up canceling on me.

You sided with my mother, assuming that because of his tattoos and the area we live in that he must be a thug or gangster or something, even though he is plainly not. His tattoos have meaning to them at least, unlike yours. You got your tattoos just because you could, and then you suckered my sister into getting one too. You are such a hypocrite, maybe someone will look at you and your tattoos and label you a 'thug' or a 'gangster' just because of what you have on your skin.

And worst of all, when I told you the fact that you always cancelling the days we hung out reminded me of high school when you would ditch me to hang with your brother, who you lived with, you got mad at me, and said that obviously I couldn't ever let go of the past and that you never wanted to talk to me again. Then you deleted me from your msn and your yahoo, and now I only hear about what's going on with you from my sister or mom, if I ask them. I miss you and I was never mad at you for long, though calling me what you called me when I moved in with my fiancee did tick me off quite a lot.

Even though we aren't friends anymore, I still love you like a sister,
Nashawryn

Dear_______x
OMG why did i look at it, i always look at it!! That pretty little face, she looks so much like you. She's the splitting image of the child i always envisioned myself having. I feel useless, what if i can't give you that perfection? Would i lose you? If you could have her, at the cost of losing me - would you take it? I hate these damn insecurities. And i hate that you had a life before me. It tears me apart seeing her face. Not because i feel anything bad towards her - how i could i, she's perfection and innocence. How could you leave that? You must of been in such a bad way to leave that pretty face. How do i know that you don't think about - wishing you could try again, you could take it all back. I hurt so badly, knowing that there is a part of you, i will never understand, a part of you that you keep hidden from me.

Dear YOU!

Oh my gosh!! I had a VERY similar "Mean girls" moment with you. That part when she sees Aaron in the class room and she remembers even the little things he says and does. Also the fact that she is distracted by him in her class (TOTALLY ME!)
But Oh, was she and I totally wrong about that...
I don't know why I try to find ways to have a GOOD reason to talk to you. I even try to make up things in my mind.
But then I take forever and before I know it, I stare into you, and the period flies by. D:
We only have one class together. It's sad.
By the way, I just wanted to remember that today, you asked me what time we got out of class because of shortened day, and I answered you. :3
You looked me in the eyes, and I was so nervous I looked into your eyes but quickly looked down or at the clock because I was SO darn nervous...CURSE YOU! and this evil power you possess over me!

<3

n

Dear life

I'm tired of being lonely. God says I'll find someone. I'm just not sure I'm gonna be okay until then. I'm feeling tired.

Dear God

Thank you for everything you've done for me recently. Thank you for the message from Mrs G. I know everything will be alright.

Dear ____,

It was good to see you again! I haven't seen you much since around the time I graduated last year. I kind of regret that. So it was awesome to see you when I went to see my brother's Grand March for Prom. You were going with Kerry again. We got to talking and we were joking around. Then Andrew showed up and it was fun. But Kerry faded into the background and she didn't seem too happy to me. Was she jealous? That took me off guard. I didn't mean to upset her, its just I haven't seen you in so long. Maybe she should be jealous. I've liked you for years. I missed my shot though, I was still trapped inside my cocoon when I could have kept you for myself. Would you have let me? I don't think so. How could you like somebody like me?

Dear Andrew,

Noisy boy! Its Megan's fault. You were suddenly curious about who and what I was text messaging when Megan told you I was a talking to a 'potiential' boyfriend. You missed your shot.

Dear Self,

You seem to be preoccupied with relationships lately, haven't you? Pheh.

Dear Wifey,

I love you. We've been best friends for almost ten years now, and you were there for me when my dad died. I don't know what to do or say-- and I hope you'll be patient with me, because you were in the same boat then. There's no script for this.

Your momma is and always has been the most ridiculously, comically, loudly alive person I know. Right down to the water gun fights and ritual pantsing of you. I don't know where this goes now. I don't know what to tell you. I wish I'd spent more time at your house, with you and your parents, these past few years. I'm scared because we've grown apart, and I know you need me. When you call me up, I hope I can make you feel safe. And hell, if I can't, I hope the boyfriend you've been spending these last two years with can. I talked to my ex on the phone today. We're both on high alert, waiting for you to call.

Do you know how many people love you?

I hope it's enough to get you through this with minimal scarring. I'm scared for you, for your dad and for your little brother.

When we imagined growing up, we never imagined details like this. Just stayed up to watch the sunrise at sleepovers. When we talked about what we were afraid of, we didn't know enough yet.


I love you.

--a.

Dear Mr Nivvy,

You know sometimes you really piss me off lol. But this PCOS has done something wonderful between us. We're talking openly about children! I'm absolutely thrilled with that. Even if we never have a child of our own, at least we are now able to speak about it, as easy as we breathe. It's a lovely change. In the start I hated children, I wanted nothing to do with them - So you eventually came to accept in your own mind that "We would never have children together." I grew as a person, I matured, I changed and I split myself from my friends who were moving in different directions, and influencing me to move away from the 'settle down, get married and have a bunch of kids' phase. Well, i'm ready now.

I'm really happy that I can do this with you. I'm really happy with the phase of life we're both at. I'm so thankful that you've been killer supportive. I mean you worked your butt off, so I could get this degree =) I wouldn't have it without you. You have given up so much, for us to move to another city, to leave the security of our families, to be completely on our own up here. I really do appreciate it. I'm just so thankful that i've never had any suspicions with you, that your history isn't overly complicated, that you're able to forgive me when i'm at my worst. That you can handle it when the monsters of my past rear their ugly heads.

I am aiming to make you a father. Because you deserve it, and you have so much love to give. The world is all the more better with you in it, and I think the world would be a better place if there were more people like you. Your legacy deserves to live on, even after you pass. I want to give you the opportunity to be a father, to be proud of your children when they achieve academically, personally, and professionally. To kiss away the boo-boos. To give them hugs when they're down. To be a shoulder to cry on when their first little crush breaks their heart. To see them off to their first day of school, to be there at their graduation. I really want to give you the opportunity to be the best man you can be, which is to support your offspring.

I know the road will be tough, and I know there will be times in the future where we'll make each other cry. But I know in my heart, that we're destined to raise children of our own. We will get there, and when those sleepless nights cease, when our children's clingyness vanishes, when we're seeing them off - to start their own families we'll look back on a life that has been fulfilling, and meaningful - together. I love you Mr Nivvy, I especially love you when you piss me off hehe =)


Dear Mr Garden Hose,

This is like the second time you've donated to me o___o! <3 I'm just as stunned this time around, as I was the first time xD! So I've decided to donate to somebody as well ^^ It was a simple little message, such as "Have a beautiful day" that has really made all the difference. Wowwie. It's amazing how such a small act of kindness, can make somebody feel all sorts of fantastic! The world needs more people like you in it. Heck, even the internet does because honestly, the net is a harsh troll ridden place. Thank you Mr Hose =) <333