Yeah, pretty much. good think I'm allergic to the stuff so they don't ever try and put me on it again. :P

/hugs
I hope things get better!

I'm back!!! I was trying to figure out the movies in the Winter..whatever with movies and music videos to figure out!

It's really hard o.o seeing as I don't celebrate Christmas really so i don't see the movies very often.

Same here. :lol:
I've seen a few of them though, because my boyfriend loves movies. :lol:

I shouldn't drink any coffee or tea or soda right now...I should get to bed in a bit. At least change into my jammies and go upstairs.

Well, we are supposed to call the nurse tomorrow and tell her, but of course he lies to her about his drinking problem. I told his sister about it and he nearly bit my head off when he chastised him for it. I'm hoping they find something that will help him. Then after that we can figure out if he can ever be comfortable with loving me or we will have to part ways, which if it is that way, he wants to be friends with me, but he gets mad when I tell him that would never happen. If anything I would hate him for a long time and would not want to see him for a long time. I couldn't see him with anyone else and for him to rub it in my face would cause me to go on a vindictive rampage and completely out him to his entire family and friends and well.. don't want to be too negative. My vindictive side would really kick in full time, that's why moving away will be good for me. I would be able to find someone who is not afraid to admit being gay or bisexual and could love me with out any hangups and be afraid of what other people think.

I shouldn't drink any caffeine or sugary drinks, but my throat is sore from my cold and it sounds so goood. *drool*

Actually I think I did pretty well on the Holiday movies. ^^' There was only one I couldn't really be sure on, so I deduced an answer and hope it's correct.

I only knew... like 3 for absolute sure. xD

There's a medicine out there that you can give to alcoholics that makes them REALLLLYYYY sick if they drink alcohol.
You should have them prescribe that to him. That'll sober him up. :/

sorry...I have issues with addicts, I don't like them, they upset me.

=w= I'm a bit of a holiday movie nerd. (More for Halloween though >>')
It's mostly because I draw while I watch movies and movie marathons are just the thing for big pictures.

I like scary movies, especially thrillers. :)

I may just do that. Today he asked me to stop at the liquor store, and I was like *ughhhh!!* He was like oh just a couple airplane bottles and I mean that. Luckily he did, I would have refused him but a man who is thirty-one is hard to say no to especially when he has his own money. Then he has a shot of Jim Beam when we went to visit some friends and he drank three twenty four ounces along the way. On the way back he got three more... He was a bit distant towards me on the way back, and I got kind of mad at him, but finally reminded myself his mood swings are always taking place and always have to take account for those, so my mood went down from mad to slightly annoyed. At least he isn't acting violent and isn't talkind hurtful and idiotic crap. He has to work tomorrow, so he knows he can't be getting sloshed anyways. Wished we had a more consistent work schedule. working for banquets for a hotel is the pitts.

hum hum

You really just sound miserable with him...I'd have left a while ago. :sweat:

Shi likes horror too. Not slashers though. =.= They bore me cause there's only the gross out reaction.

My friends used to like him, the ones up around where I'm staying, but now they all think he's really a selfish bastard that can't see beyond his nose for the most part as far as those he hurts around him. His whole gender role specific beliefs are laughable. I am miserable truth be known, I'm just waiting for the day when we finally have our big blow out and I go on a complete vindicitve rampage and completely out him to everyone he knows, as well as turn my back on him completely and watch him self destruct... sounds cruel yes, but to have someone slap you in the face after you sacrificed so much of your life for them is the ultimate insult and hurt you can inflict on a heart.

Uhg, to stay up and watch TV, or get some rest? :(
I have to be up in 8ish hours.

----------

Bottling it up and exploding like that will probably just end up making you look bad for trying to get revenge against someone who is "sick," to be honest.
:(
I mean, not that I don't completely understand, I do. It's just...Why waste your time with him if even you feel it's doomed?
It sounds almost like you're waiting for him to push you over the edge. :sweat:

Its not all bad, we do have some good times, but I love him so much that it's like riding a train that you aren't sure if it's going to wreck or not.. but you ride it to the very end anyways. He knows how I feel, and I have done told him there will be no friendship if or once it ends. He gets angry at me and says I'm selfish. I luagh after I took him in off and he chose to live with me rather than an ex girlfriend, then I supported him solid for almost 2 months, had to give up so much otherwise because of him, and some minor physical abuse. He really led me on with so many mixed messages.

Even if people think bad of me, I will not care, because he will deserve it, and am I sick? After all the toll all of this has had on me, I would answer yes, but at least I will soon be removed from the situation and leaving him to fend for himself will be just as destructive to him.

i ish still lurking around, but I'm playing mad gallop now to try to make a little bit of money while i wait cause i don't feel like going to bed right now when plans fall apart.

I think I will play a game of that too...I get so mad the more I think about it. Monstah's right, I feel like a time bomb. It's too close to the holidays for me to explode right now... it may happen soon after new years...

I don't really know what to say, I'm sorry.

I'm going to go lay down though, I'm thirsty and sleepy. XD;;

i don't know if i want to even go to sleep yet or not.... =[ or at all...

Well thanks for reading my rants, sorry I threw all of this out, but it's the only way I know how to keep myself contained. Well you have a great night, I need to lie down really soon myself.

Good night both of you. ^-^ May the New Year bring better times for all of us

Yea really, I haven't been too religious in the past but I have been finding myself praying more these days than in times gone by.