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@Suona - True, so what you been up too?
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Just school, really.
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now, but Mene is so addicting. :drool: |
Thank you ladies, for all your concerns. I really am very disappointed in what kind of mother (or lack thereof) my daughter has turned out to be.
She had all the love and care she could ask for growing up. I think a lot of it has to do with she was simply too young to start a family when she did, yet it was a conscious decision on her and her boyfriend's part when they did. She and I had had plenty of conversations discussing responsibility and such before she ever got pregnant, and she has openly admitted to me that she did get pregnant intentionally, because she wanted to become a mother. Well, she certainly has not been a 'mother' to these children, nor has her boyfriend been a father to them. I have, on several occasions, mentioned to her that she needs to take more responsibility for them, but every time I tell her that, she says she doesn't think she can handle taking care of the kids on her own and starts talking about giving them up for adoption. It makes me furious when she starts talking like that. These kids did not ask to be brought into this world. The last thing I want is for them to end up with complete strangers. |
@Suona - That's totally true i always get distracted by mene lol.
@Fizi - Oh wow, that's really terrible, i'd be wanting to take those children off her and raise them myself! It seems like they need some kind of stability and path to follow and they're all over the place because of her. It's really gonna effect them in the long run. It's like they have you on the one hand, the responsible one trying to do the right thing, and then their parents who kinda seem like they're on this "hey these are my kids i'll do what i want with them" buzz. I mean i'm not a mum yet, but i've seen enough from the way i was raised and the way i've seen like my nieces and nephews and stuff raised, to know exactly what i want for my kids & that making those mistakes early in childhood can be damaging. It's just so sad, and i feel so sorry for you. You as the grandmother must feel like you need to do so much, without you know being the interfering grandmother and taking over from your own daughter. Sometimes though intervention is needed. I would say i hope she sorts her stuff out, but it doesn't sound like she ever is. She's really gonna regret it later ... These are the important years of a childs life. It's sad that her and her partner are pretty much missing them. |
Roachi, exactly! How I wish I could be the 'grandma' of these wonderful babies, but instead I am forced to play both mother and father to them. I love both of them dearly and will not leave them to be neglected, which is what I fear would happen if I were to tell my daughter 'no more...you have to take care of them, they are your kids.'
Her whole attitude of wanting to give them up for adoption just makes me angry. If she didn't want them, she should never have had them in the first place. Now I love my grandchildren dearly, and I can't imagine my life without them in it anymore, but the fact still remains, she should never have planned to have a child if she was not going to accept the responsibility that goes along with it. |
- Sigh -
I totally agree with all of that. Is there anyway you can gain control of them? Or even talk to your daughter about you being their primary caregiver? In the way that those children need some stability in their lives & some direction? She's probably gonna flip but she kinda needs to see the bigger picture. Is her boyfriend the same? Doesn't care kind of attitude? |
I think if it were just up to my daughter, she probably would sign control of the kids over to me, but her boyfriend would never agree to that. Not because he wants anything to do with the kids, but because he likes to control the situation. He is a control freak.
If he wants something, and he can't have it, he flips out. Back before we moved into his grand pap's house, we were in an apartment, and the rent was coming due. He wanted to buy an Xbox or something like that, but my daughter told him we couldn't afford it because the rent was due. He threw a real hissy fit about it, and my daughter ended up promising him to get him one with her income tax refund that year, which she was supposed to get a short time later. Did he care that the rent was due? No. When the fourth of July (Independence Day) was coming up, we talked about taking the kids to see the fireworks. The car did not have enough room for all of us though, and he said he didn't want to go, so my daughter and I were supposed to take the kids. At the last minute, he decided he wanted to go, which meant I could not go. Of course, I got upset because the whole reason I planned to go was because he had said he didn't want to go. Well, in the end, because I had gotten upset with him, he said no one could go and refused to let us take the car. Turns out we had a good view of the fireworks right from our front balcony, but still, it made me angry that he could be so selfish that he would deprive his kids because he was angry with me and my daughter. Honestly, I do not understand what she sees in that guy. I know he has ADHD, but he is a very selfish, self centered person. My computer desk sits right outside their bedroom door and I can hear when they argue with each other. It's not often he gets as upset as he did during this one argument they had, but he totally pissed me off because of how he spoke to my daughter during that argument. He had yelled at her 'shut up, you f*cking b*tch', in the most hateful tone ever. My daughter came out of their room then, just crying because of how he was treating her, and it turns out the argument was all over nothing. It was just stupid, him trying to be a control freak again. I'm sorry, but when you love someone, you do not treat them so disrespectfully, no matter how angry you might be with them. Honestly, I would shed no tears if she decided to leave him. I'm just thankful he is not physically abusive to her, though maybe it would be better if he were...it would be so much easier for her to leave him then, I think. |
Oh he's one of those males? What do women see in those kinds of guys? I've never been with a guy who controls my life like that, and i never will be. How old are they? Cause he sounds like he's pretty young, not giving a crap about the things that matter like rent, there's a thing that comes with having kids, it's called responsibilities!
Wow that is pretty selfish, he sounds like a real asshole and the only thing that matters is him! Why on earth did your daughter have kids with that idiot and why is she still with him? Does she not see that he doesn't give to flips about anybody but himself? Sounds like they were both not ready for kids! Having ADHD is not an excuse. I know someone who has lived with that his whole life, has a fiancee and a kid and does not come close to being that much of an asshole. He has no excuse for his behaviour he is the way he is, because your daughter lets him get away with being that way. If that was me, i'd be like "hey buck up your ideas, or there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out". She obviously has no self respect cause she doesn't care how he treats you, or her at all. Well you know my philosphy is it takes two to tango. If she didn't like it, and if she really wanted to be rid of him, She would have done it by now. I feel no sympathy for woman who don't seek the help when they need it and find a way out for their childrens sake and for their own sake. It only gets worse. I also believe that exact same thing, it doesn't matter how hard it gets you never disrespect someone you care about by taking it that far. I mean don't get me wrong, i've said some pretty nasty stuff to my mother when i was younger, and i've had a few relationships we're i've gone off like that. But i was young and stupid and didn't know anything about respect & how a relationship works at all. Now that i know values, and how important family and love and respect and all that is, I don't ever talk to people i care about with such hatred anymore, even when i'm so angry. I'd rather walk away. And now i expect the same respect. Like recently one of my online friends cussed me out, he yelled and screamed and caused drama in one of my threads, was just being a real douche bag. But not once did i say nasty things to him. Even when he called me a "back stabbing b*tch" as result of that i have decided not to talk to him. I don't like being treated like that and then for him to turn around and act like nothing happened. Do to others what you would have then do unto you heh? :) Yeh your right, it would be easier. But would it be easier for her .. seems like she's already stuck in that "abusive husband" state. I think she'd stay and blame it all on herself, and defend him to the bitter end. I've seen it all before. |
- pokes to the top -
Eh i think people are threatened by my AB's xD They ish only AB's people! Offer darn it :P |
I'm wondering the same about my stuff Roachi, because no one was offering on my things either. Winter Wind finally came in and offered the low on one set, and someone else offered the AB on my Dove Wings, but that person still hasn't put the gold into the trade either. If they don't hurry, they stand to lose the item, because I used it to offer on a Luck of the Irish, but was to change the wings to pure in my offer upon selling them. If they don't put the gold into the trade before my bid on the clover goes through, they aren't going to get the Dove Wings after all.
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- waves to fizi -
It's rather strange isn't it? Because things usually get sold rather quickly, but it's been going so slow over this past month... and there's like nobody selling march CI's! I say fair enough too, i wait a couple days max with my items and if they don't pay up i cancel and re-list. |
Just visiting one post today.
I have to get to bed. Goodnight Roachi! |
Thanks for stoppin by saku! - huggles -
Night <3333 |
hello Roachi! *huggles* <3
How are you doing? |
Hiii crunk! ^^
I'm alright, just got back from the doctors, been feeling under the weather! Hope they find out what's wrong with me! Almost had me scared there, thought i was pregnant for a second! xDD |
Roachi is very red. :O
Gangster! lol >_< |
Uwah. Suona has an Alt-Snake. ;3; *jealous*
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Hey how'd you become faceless suona? xD
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- prods to the top -
Hungry :drool: |
Uh, I'll offer a March set and 500 gold for the garnet sword~
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I'll take that waffle ^^, sending trade in a tick :)
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accepted, thank you :3
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Sorry, i fell asleep - Goes to accept - <333
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*slams chastity belt on Roach*
xD!!!! |
Nuuuuuuuuu! Not the belt! xP
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