Hi everyone, I need some advice on how to meet, playfully converse, and ultimately hook-up with a guy. I'm hoping this thread will help others with the same struggle as me. True, it seems as a very trivial subject compared to all the other issues out there but I've naturally been a shy girl, never had a boyfriend and not used to being social with the opposite gender that I find really attractive (not just physically). I also find the easiest ways to screw up an innocent conversation. o_e

Using resources such as magazines seem extremely unreliable and their ideas are far from the truth for many people.
I have never been the bold person to start a conversation first, but it's the only way to get...well--anywhere!I need advice on how to start one without fainting or failing during the approach.
Knowing the many different ways to meet a guy would be helpful as well.
Even little opinions and self-learned experiences would help.:angel:

All I'm asking for is a little advice. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who wants to know the same things.

I agree with Shadow Coon is that there's NO step-by-step thing in doing things.

One thing that really helps is to try to be more outgoing, like hang out at...places.. XD Maybe if you have a Starbucks you can sit in & strike up a conversation with someone...

Or even if you're not the type to go out, people might approach you. And a good way to have that happen more often is to look confident in yourself and look more.."approachable" Which COULD mean..look happy. Even if you've been having a bad day, look cheerful & someone will come right around ^_^

like people, there is no one way to do anything, it is different with ever person for it is a different person every time. Otherwise, I agree with everyone else, I know we aren't giving you the answer you are looking for, but this is similar to asking a step by step guide to falling in love.

I always had the same problem as you. ^^; I've always been extremely shy. I never dared to ask a boy out - luckily they did dare to, otherwise I still wouldn't have a boyfriend :XD

If you know this boy will be at a place you'll be going to (a concert, a party, anything), always bring a friend. I find it easier to talk to strangers when there's a friend with me.

And this is really hard, but DO talk to him! Even if it's just a compliment on his clothes/hairstyle/anything. He won't bite, and if he does, he's not worth your attention and you're better off with someone friendly.

I've always been very shy up until I got this job working in a kitchen where I was FORCED to speak else be made fun of. (Incidentally I met my fiance there.)

For the record I have never been easy to embarrass, but I do like to be comfortable, so I found myself learning how to socialize.

There is not really a trick to it, I mean, if you think you sound weird when you talk simply because you don't hear yourself do it very often, don't pay any attention to it and keep talking. It also does not matter how silly the topic you pick, as long as it is interactive.

Be sure you ask questions that require more than a yes or a no. Answer questions with the most lengthy response you can think of and then ask one yourself. For instance:

"So, what did you do today?"
Improper conversation: "Nothing."
Proper conversation: "Oh, not too much, went to the bank and then picked up some mickey D's. How about you?"

Be sure to show the person interest, even if you blush just because you're talking to them. It is also ok to be nervous, but do not lose your nerve, you know? This might sound corny, but rehearse your first couple of questions and how you think he might answer. The conversation will probably go completely different, but at least you will have been able to make a conversation with him in your head. Once you can make conversation mentally, physically it is much easier.

Some topics: Compare favorite musics, give GOOD solid reasons for liking/disliking each band/artist. Compare favorite movies in a similar fashion. Compare hobbies or things that you like to do, say, go to the movies or try a new restaurant once a week. Discuss your creative outlets, ask what he thinks of your work, and what he does to express himself.

I hope this helps a lil'! There is no set standard for being outgoing, It is just something YOU have to take control of, but these methods worked for me, and now I can hold my own in a conversation... but I still prefer just to listen.

EDIT: By the way, if you have never approached this person before, it helps to just hold eye contact and smile a few times before actually approaching him to talk. Don't immediately glance away if he catches you looking at him, you know? Haha, actually the blush/glance away was pretty much how I got comfy with my fiance when working with him, I would look at him, and as soon as he looked at me I would look away. He eventually started LOUDLY stating that "Becky won't look at me at all! She thinks I'm ugly!". And then he would stare at me until I glanced over and then look away. We kind of turned it into a game where we would take turns doing that stare/glance away. =D Because of that I actually got comfortable with being around him and talking to him.

Try not to double-post Caia & Abunai Bijin. ^^;

As for meeting guy advice, I'm a poor choice to give it. XD; In my case I've been asked out several times, but not by the right guys, so I wouldn't rush things just because you feel you need a boyfriend right now. ^^ Eventually you'll find someone you click with without forcing yourself to.

I agree with what mostly everyone else has been telling you beacuse everyone really is different, and it really does vary with each person. However, what I can offer you is what has worked for me.

I believe that the best foundation for a relationship is friendship. My first goal was to not look for a relationship, rather, look for friendship. When I started college, I was friendly and open to the people around me despite the fact that I was seriously shy. I had to get it in my head that, "Hey I should make friends because other wise, it's going to be a very lonely experience for me." So, you kind of need to make that determination for yourself. I'm not saying to go up to a complete stranger and befriend them, but if you have a friend of a friend, take the time to open up to them. I guess it takes practice to open up to people, you know? But before you know it you may be networking with people who you may want to date.

Also, I hung out and talked to people who had the same interests as I did. Usually people with the same interests try to date each other. For some people, though, I know that the term "opposites attract" work for them, so if it applies to you, then you should hang out with people who you don't share similarities with. So yeah. I looked for friendship first, and hung out with people who liked the same things I did, and well, I have a boyfriend now of 2 and a half years. Of course I can't gurantee if this will work for you, but I hope it helps in some way. Good luck to you! :nod:

Funny story about how me and my fiance hooked up. I was recovering from a bad relationship, but he was interesting, sweet, everything I wanted. I just didn't think he was interested. He didn't think I was interested because I'd told him so shortly before the bad relationship turned sour. We had a couple of friends who found out, and set us up. We call them our Yenta's now (matchmakers), and they're both invited to the wedding.

Really though, there's no sure-fire way into a relationship. I was friends with my frist boyfriend for a long time before we dated. I've found that if you make friends first, and are interested, things tend to go smoother. And if things don't end up working out, you're more likely to still have a friend later.

This will probably be a repeat from the above, but the only way I've found is to take things slow, don't expect too much, and go with the flow. People who are so desperate to find their forever-love usually end up rushing into things, while those who just enjoy life and find friendship end up attracting other people.

As for how to start up convos with Mr Right, just find something you both have in common and go from there. Talk about a class or friend or movie you have in common. Ask him questions about himself but offer a little info about yourself too. And just have fun with it, it you guys are good for each other I'm sure things will work out for the best!