What things do you look for in a bf?
 

Since I caught my bf cheating on me, I think I just have bad tastes in bf's.

So, I was wondering, what personality traits/talents/features, does everyone think make a good bf? I don't necessarily mean lookswise, cause I think everyone has different tastes there, but more along the lines of personality and stuff.

for instance, I'd like someone who in a room full of people can make me feel like he thinks I'm the only person in the room. (I've just never found anyone like that, lol.)

So, looking for things I can use to filter out the jerks that I seem to invarriably fall for.

I tend to like people that are similar to me. I know it sounds weird, but if they're too different I lose interest really quick. I also like people that are sensitive, but not too whiny at the same time. I like a bit of a romatic in there as well as long as it's not a constant thing. They have to be able to understand sarcasm too since I'm always sarcastic. My husband has all the qualities I like thankfully, although he's a bit stubborn at times. I don't see the point in counting someone out though because they don't fit your standards.

I think one of the most important qualities for me is honesty. The guy I've been with for 4 years is so honest that he can even be a bit tactless at time. I like it though, because I hate it when people lie to avoid confrontation. I think that's a personal preference though, some people prefer tact.

I also like his general live and let live attitude. We don't see eye to eye on some things, but we can disagree without it being the end of the world. For example, he smokes and I don't. He doesn't pressure me to smoke and I don't pressure him to quit.

Anyone I date also has to be more outgoing than me. I'm extremely shy and have never asked someone out before. I'm sure I could if I really had to, but I've never had to.

Everyone falls for at least one person at some point who don't turn out to be as good as they appear at first though, don't be so hard on yourself. I think you should make your own list of traits to look for rather than going off other's lists. It's kind of a personal thing.

I've always looked for someone who has simular hobbies and/or likes and dislikes as myself. I don't think I'd be able to get along with someone if we had nothing in common at all, yet also I think its also good if you have a hobbie, for example, that they don't, just to keep things going.

I'm a rather emotional person, in regards to not being afraid to show my emotions, and I've always looked for a guy like that too. At least they wont get all annoyed if I just want to hug one evening, or cry because I feel stressed or something. Plus it means they're human too.

My boyfriend is someone I can happily call my best friend and my soulmate. We are just like little versions of the other, yet with our own quirks and styles thrown in too.

At the end of the day.. everyone likes and looks for something completely different.
:3

if the person truly loves you, and if they have similar interests to yours.
I agree with Enzeru, nerdy guys are usually less likely to be jerks.

I try to look for a guy who is opposite to me in personality. Dating someone like me is annoying, because then I end up being the dominant one in the relationship. And I don't like being dominant.

I guess I like a guy who is...
Smart, charming, stern, defensive (but not too defensive), loyal, social, good with family and kids, isn't emo, has similar interests as me but still his differences.

Its not completely about his traits... anyone can cheat, and anyone can hide it and get away with it, I guess its just how he is in the relationship. A guy that cheats might:

1. Separates you and his friends/family life.
2. Not want to/like to fill you in on things going on in his life/day.
- I like to ask my guy how his day was, and ask what he did, I don't need full details, but its just a little conversation. Some guys will get defensive, or act annoyed. That may not be a good sign.
3. Has a lot of female friends but you don't know any of them.
- Or if you know of them, he hasn't let you meet them.
4. He doesn't show P.D.A's

Those might be signs, but it isn't a guarantee.

I like someone who can make me laugh, and with whom I can have interesting conversations as well. The same taste in music is a big plus, that way I'll always have someone to drag with me to see bands. :) And he needs to like going out and having fun, but always stay true to me.

I'm very happy to have someone who is all of that and more ^^ I've been with him for nearly 4 years now and he's not just my boyfriend, he's also my soulmate and the only male friend I have with whom I can talk about serious, personal business.

haha, i'm the opposite. I like being the dominant one in a relationship. Unless the person is younger than I am, then it's ok to be equal. But my boyfriend and I are the same age, and i'm sensitive to the fact that we're the same age and he's not younger, and it's sooooo stupid that i'm that way.
Kind of interesting that you say dating someone similar to you makes you the dominant one. why is that?

similar interests, understanding of logic, smart, willing to deal with my swings of emotions, and understanding i want him to like me, but let me be with my friends as well. I am not his trophy, but rather a good friend when iwth other people. Also a more stable dominant guy is good for me. Something i run into but I don't liek dating people like me cause I feel and am weak alot mroe than I want.

Wow you got me thinking...so here’s a list!
My guy...
Is obsessed w/ my smile...
He love’s “sweetheart” nick names...
Knows I have insomnia and gives backrubs and sings to me to help me sleep...
Has to protect me...
Bought me that one necklace I love so much from halfway around the world and if it ever broke he’d go back to Morocco just to buy me another...
He would wish for peace...
He’s the guy I can hold hands with when ever I wanted...
Someone who just chased me around the house and trapped me in the couch just to kiss me...
He’s the kinda guy that could go into a “Dollar Store” with eighty-seven cents and talk them into selling him something just from his charm...
He’s the guy that knows how long commercials actually last and delivers my B.B.Q chips right as they end...
He’s the guy that’s doing the thing with his tongue the drives me wild when I say “Don’t even THINK of stopping monkey boy.” Then he asks “How did you know I was thinking about stopping?”
He’s the guy that brags to his friends about how he’ll be the first in line to see the new “Die Hard” movie but he’s really taking my to see Pirates of the Caribbean for the third time...
He’s the guy sitting quietly on the floor, outside my bathroom, listening to me hum...and slowly begins to have a panic attack...because he’s realized...he has no clue...what the song is...
He’s the kinda guy to take to an “In n Out” in Cali and have it animal style just for the laughs...
He’s the kinda guy that doesn’t judge...
He’s the guy that just got done mowing the yard, trimming the hedges, stacking those extra bricks and weeded the front flower pots. He has his jacuzzi waiting for him with hot water and the new bubble bath he’s been trying to use. Then I stick my head around the door and give him THAT smile and say “Salsa dancing!!...In the car in twenty monkey boy. He looks at the hot water with popping bubbles then looks at me and say’s “I’ll get my boots...
He’s the guy that buys the best “feminine logic” I could devise...”No I did NOT spend $5 on the latte w/ chocolate...I used the $5 I saved on the shoes I bought at Marshall’s...”
He’s not afraid to “get down”...on...and off of the dance floor...
He’s the guy that has love for all and hate for none...
He’s the kinda guy that knows I see his feminine side as beautiful and not a weakness...
He’s the guy that will sit with me for hours looking though the funny photos I took and he completely forgot to watch the game...
He’s the guy that reads “But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose”...then think that I’m worth ALL of the trouble...
He’s the guy that leaves me a note in my suitcase when I leave, hoping I’ll see it when I unpack...then later he prays that I never see it...
He’s the guy that smells coffee when there’s none around...then remembers I was drinking some the day before...just before I left...
Wish me luck finding this guy...

Wow...that's ummm...pretty specific. Do you already have someone in mind?

Ugh. I think I look for a movie perfect guy who doesnt exist. Something like Pride and Prejudice. Every time I think I like a guy I find something wrong, something that makes me back away from him and end up breaking his heart. It sucks that every guy is going to have a flaw.

What really sux, is that most guys are fatally flawed.:(

@MaryKay- ...nope

...well, then where are the good ones???

I think the good ones are out there, ready to pop out when you're least expecting it. xD
But honestly, I think we girls have no idea what we want. I mean, yea, there are a few individuals who knows exactly what they want and stops at nothing to get it, but c'mon.

Just the other day I met this guy, and after chatting a while we exchanged phone numbers, and from then on he called me almost every other day. We share some common interests but not a lot. He introduced me to his friends the next time we met, even though he didn't have to. I showed him my weird and quirky side and he didn't run away screaming. And now he says that he likes me and would like to ask me out in the near future. Now, personally, I don't like him that way, but would like to continue being friends. It shows though that there are those good guys out there, so don't give up. ^^

I got for guys that are sweet, gentle, sarcastic but also know when to be serious.

I agree and my relationship is the same way. Men are always stubborn lol!
by the way, I like a guy that can be himself around me and that I can be myself around, and we love it. Just like my boyfriend.

My problem, is that the guys who I figure would probably treat me great just don't have that "spark", if you know what I mean. I've got guy friends who are pretty nice, but they're just friends, kinda like cousins or brothers, so I couldn't ever "go" there. ya know?

I know what you mean about the 'Spark' I had crushes on about 4 guys this year but when ever I was with them no 'fireworks' or 'sparks' seemed to happen. It'll happen though I'm sure of it. Just hopefully I'll find my right guy soon.

Well, at this point, I think I'm gonna just stop looking for awhile, at least until next year.

@MaryKay- LOL yeah where are all the good ones?

see, that's the problem with women. theyre always looking for "the good ones"
the truth is they all have potential to be "good" with the right motivation.
Just find someone who cares about you and who you care about.
find someone you "click" with.
and by the way, there might not be fireworks right at first. but if he's the right one, you won't need fireworks.

How many of you actually look for those in guys and don't just fall head-over-heels for the 'hot' guy at school, or at the club?

The type of things I look for in a girlfriend. Would be they have to take criticism. Because I am a smart ass. I am not a jackass, but I am definitely a smart ass. They need to be open minded to most subjects. I am not a republican or a democrat. I look for people who don't mind partying, but at the same time like some downtime to just hang out, watch tv, cuddle.
There are lots of various specific traits you can look for in people. Though, broadening your horizon on the specifics helps out alot. I have met alot of great people. It wasn't a 'right' thing for the relationship but I am still friends with almost all of them.